"I really do think this will help, Edward." Alice said brightly. At least, I hope it will. I scowled and got out of the Volvo. Rosalie emerged from the other side, swinging her feet over the edge to show off her shoes. Why do we all have to do this? Its Edward's little human problem. If he'd left her alone as he should have, this would never have happened.

"Stop it, Rosalie." I said under my breath. I knew she could have blocked her thoughts if she'd wanted to. She'd intended me to hear that, and she knew I knew it. I felt a wave of calm wash over us as Jasper got out.

"You know, you won't be able to do that once we get in there." Alice reminded him, "We're supposed to face up to our feelings."

"You mean Edward's feelings. This is all about Edward, isn't it?" Rosalie scoffed. Emmett got out of the car and rubbed her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

"Then why are you here?" I asked. She's here because she doesn't want to pass up an opportunity to talk about herself, Alice thought.

"Is this it?" Emmett asked, getting out of the car, "Well, it just looks like a house to me."

"Well, Dr. Wilkins, Vampire Psychotherapist, probably wouldn't be the least ostentatious sign." I grumbled.

"True." Alice giggled. Really, Edward, do it for us.

"I'm here, aren't I?" I groaned.

Because Carlisle made you.

That was true. Carlisle had insisted I get help after a few months of simply doing nothing. Honestly, I didn't care. It wasn't going to help to go to a therapist, but it couldn't hurt either. I really didn't care anymore, I thought, but by the time I'd reached the office, I was beginning to have second thoughts. Family Counseling for Vampires. This was going to be hell. We trudged up the stairs and into the waiting room

"Where's Carlisle?" I asked.

"He'll be here soon." Alice said, "Do you want to read a magazine?" She was reading Vogue.

"No, I do not want to read a magazine, Alice." I protested.

"They have some really good car ones." Alice insisted.

"Give it up. I don't want to read a magazine." I snarled.

Then the door opened, revealing a woman of about Esme's physical age, with bobbed blond hair and the golden eyes that told us she was a vegetarian.

"Hello, are you the Cullens?" she asked.

"And Hales." Rosalie snapped. Good lord, can't forget Hale, I thought. I had decided I had probably better get out while I could.

"I'm Sadie Wilkins. Come on in." This was going to be hell.

"Come on in." the therapist gestured into a small office with couches and large posters that said "You are NOT a monster!" and "Workings of the Vampire Brain". I glanced at her bookshelf and saw a copy of Carlisle's first and only self-help book, the Seven Habits of Highly Effective Vegetarian Vampires. Rosalie stalked into the room and practically threw herself on a chair. Typical theatrics. The rest of us went in quietly and sat down.

"Well, hello, everyone. You can call me Sadie. Now in the interest of getting to know all of you, I'd like you to go around and say your names, favorite colors, and why you're here." She chirped. Favorite color?

Favorite color? Emmett thought.

"Favorite color?" Rosalie sneered. Well, someone had to say it out loud.

"Ms. Cullen…" Sadie began.

"Hale!" Rosalie snapped.

"I'm so sorry. Hale. I just want to be able to get to know you on friendly terms." Oh, she'd get to know her. Sadie gestured towards Alice.

"Hi. I'm Alice Cullen, my favorite color is yellow, and I'm here because I want things to get better." Alice's voice had a sort of false cheeriness.

"Jasper Hale, here because Alice wants me to be, and my favorite color is red." Red. Like blood. Sweet, warm blood.

"Jasper!" I hissed, "He looked embarrassed.

"Edward," the therapist reprimanded, "Your brother's feelings are not wrong."

"Want to bet?" I snarled. Wait, how did she know what his feelings were? Could she---No.

"Clearly, you're having some anger issues---"

"HE'S having some anger issues!" Rosalie yelled sarcastically.

"There's plenty of anger issues to go around. And for once in your existence, Rosalie, this isn't about you!" I snapped.

"Oh, it's not about me, is it? When I have to put up with your moping and brooding and self-righteousness every day---"

"Be quiet, Rosalie." I interrupted coolly.

"After all this, you dare tell me to be quiet! You dare to tell me---"

"Rose." Emmett shushed her gently.

"Don't shush me!" she roared.

"That's right. She's facing up to her feelings." Sadie said. God, this is the most screwed up coven I have ever met.

I was going to kill Carlisle for suggesting this.