-STILL UNDER SERIOUS EDITING. THIS IS A FIRST DRAFT.-

(For those wondering about why this is on , and not fictionpress or another site for specifically original content:

I personally believe this to loosely be considered fanfiction, because I took aspects, characters, and other similar themes from the furry fandom. It may not be easily defined as such, but my point remains true. Fanfiction is defined as "fiction written by a fan of, and featuring characters from, a particular TV series, movie, etc.". I see no problem with posting this under those terms. I'm a fan, writing a fictitious book about a character in a particular fandom who are based around anthropomorphic animals. This story is just as much taken from the furry fandom/community as it is original.

Anyways, I just had to state that to clear this up. If this came off as rude or confusing in any way, I apologize. Thank you for your time, and I hope you enjoy my story.)

Chapter 1

What does it truly means to die? Is it being recreated into a new world, a new life? Is it the end, or is it a beginning? Is all of this really worth it for the mystery at the end? I ask myself constantly as to what it's purpose is, even as I stare at my own reflection. My eyes are now a dull emerald, much different from the bright, energetic green I was used to. My fur was matted in places, and stuck up in no-longer fluffy tufts across my body. The peppered markings across my chest, paws, ear tips, and right eye that stood in contrast to the off-white fur coating me were tinged in dirt and muck. I let out a deep sigh, tearing my eyes away from someone I didn't know anymore.

Another patron of the restaurant whose bathroom I've occupied steps in, and I follow out, my tattered coat almost getting caught in the doorway. I couldn't stand people seeing me like this, and I didn't want to ruin the family business's name by allowing them to notice the grimy homeless dog that passed through its doors every few days to allow myself the luxury of free water. The older couple that ran the restaurant were kind enough to allow me to use it freely, at least.

As I stepped through the exit, the cold, november air hit me through the patchwork holes across m clothing, and a barrage of noises hit my ears. It was such a drastic opposite to the calm, relaxed atmosphere of the establishment, that I stood there for a moment, allowing my body to adjust. After a minute or two, I turned, heading to 'home' if it could even be called such. It was a hole in between two tall, glistening buildings that stood proudly next to each other in the growing almost-noon sunlight, oblivious to my, and all others' presence.

I settled into my spot at the corner, the moth-eaten blanket below me the only comfort from the concrete. After about an hour of moving my small collection of trash-pillaged keepsakes around to various locations, I sighed. Boredom was becoming more of a menace than the cold, nowadays. I stood, dusting off the seat of my pants and wiping my tail as best as I could.

As I dove my hand into my useable pocket, I grabbed the measly palm of change I had left. After counting it, I pondered what I could possibly buy with a simple 1.35, not counting the small array of pennies I sorted to the side. I had a small mayonnaise jar that I kept all the pennies I have collected inside. When there's nothing else to do, I count it all out again. It's scary how many times I have been able to do it, really…

I shook my head, ridding myself of my distracting thought. I had a task to do, and my stomach made sure to remind me of such. I began the trek to the local grocery store, my untrimmed nails clacking against the asphalt as I step. I keep my head down, though I can easily feel the stares of the people that pass by. Hell, if I were in their position, I give myself the most disgusting look of all. When you're on the top, falling down doesn't exactly occur to your thoughts.

I lowered my head and pressed my ears back, focusing on the building in the distance. It was dinner time for the first time in… three days? It's hard to tell. My eyes watched my grey-looking paws as they took step after step after step. I was almost there-

"Oomph!" I hit something, propelling my rear end into the hard ground. From the thud I heard, someone suffered the same issue. An ache ran through my butt and my tail, and I groaned, rubbing my hip. That hurt like a mothertrucker!

"Sir? Are you alright?" I looked up, and my eyes locked with a pair of bright, sapphire blues. The kneeling german shepard looked me over, features etched in concern. His black suit showed off the rippling muscles he surely held beneath, and his face was practically godly. I had to resist the urge to drool as I nodded dumbly.

"Y-Yeah. I'm fine. It was my fault for not paying attention." I blush, practically tearing my eyes from the handsome man in front of me as he stands. What? I can't help myself from practically eye-raping the poor fellow.

The shepard shook his head, holding his paw out to help me up. "Please, that was more my fault than yours. I was spacing out just as much." He offered an eye-dazzling smile towards me and I almost melted.

Boy, this guy has got me good!

I chuckle in return, taking the paw and mentally cursing the dirt that covered it as he hoists me upright. I drop his paw as soon as I feel steady enough to stand. He nods lightly as a goodbye, and he's off, walking past me with a strut in his step. I take my own step forward, only to be stopped by the sound of metal rubbing together under my paws. The money! I gasped, dropping down yet again to gather up the change that had fallen with me. I couldn't lose it!

I picked up dime after nickle after quarter, then my eyes grazed something that was definitely not stingy pocket change. It was a full-on, leather-designed, polished to perfection wallet. It had to have been the mystery shepard…

I was curious to who he was, and even more so how many meals I could get out of the green bill peeking slightly from the open edge. I could probably afford a cheap motel with that… I eyed the bills hungrily, though tore my needy eyes away. I swore I wouldn't stoop to theft, and I'd keep on the promise… mostly. I sure he won't notice the ten I slipped away before shoving it deep into my useable pocket.

I pick myself up, the grin never off my muzzle. Today will be a feast, courtousy of clumsiness. I knew it'd help me eventually!

Chapter 2

I step out from the automatic doors, resisting the urge to skip and prance around. I haven't been this happy in ages! Then again, I haven't been happy at all for quite some time. It felt as if I was walking on a cloud as I made my way back towards the alleyway, the plastic grocery bag swinging with my every step.

I sat myself on the rough fabric that marked my residence, my legs spread out in front of me before digging quickly through the contents of bag. An orange, a loaf of bread, and, my sweet, sinful treat, a bag of sugar-coated peach rings. Meat sounded so much more appetizing though. I remember, faintly, the days my mother would cook her favorite stew. It was hearty and filling, and the aroma was amazing.

She'd only make it during special occasions, whether it be mine and my little sister's birthday, a holiday, or some other accomplishment we happened to achieve. The last time I'd enjoyed it was my father's birthday something close to six years ago. There were family members pouring in and out of the front doors; some laughed, other hugged, and some of the younger pups flitted through and around their parent's paws. It was so fun, seeing so many people together to celebrate.

To celebrate with family again…

I didn't notice the wetness on my cheeks until then. I hadn't cried much since I was abandoned all those years ago. I toughed it out and moved on with my life as if it was nothing. It wasn't hard to forget when I tried to, but all these feeling flowing through me. It was a mixture of sadness, regret, disbelief, and so many others I couldn't pinpoint.

I reached up, using the back of my arm to wipe the tears away. It wouldn't do any good to whine and cry anymore. It was far too late for that. I closed my eyes in a deep sigh before opening them again.

A girl stood in front of me, her head tilted to the side and her honey-colored ears standing upright atop her head.. "Why are you crying?" She asked. She couldn't have been older than six, and I saw her mother only a few feet away, eyeing me cautiously. Everyone avoided people that weren't on their level.

"It's nothing…" I lower my gaze back to the pink-clad girl. A huge smile lights up her face as she puts her paw on my far larger one. She squeezes it gently as if to reassure me it will be okay.

"Here." She searches through the pocket of her brightly colored jacket with her free arm, taking out a small, quite bedazzled, pouch. "Take it." She drops it into my lap before scurrying off to her waiting parent faster than I could return it. I hear them exchange a few words before they're out of earshot. Pondering whether or not I should take the contents, my eyes dart back and forth between the place they left and the purse sitting on my lap.

With a deep, long sigh, I set the pouch off to the side, pulling my legs up to my chest to keep a bit more warmth. It was a long while before sleep finally took me, offering distraction from the biting air and the bustling streets.

I woke up to snow falling on my nose, and numbness enclosing me from head to toe. I was shivering uncontrollably as the frost crept closer to my core. It was hard to breathe, the air in the atmosphere trying desperately to expand and fill the sky. I stood up, my bones feeling like they were cracking with every movement I made.

I kept my fingers moving, balling them into fists then relaxing again. The stow crunched under my weight as i paced to keep the blood flowing as fast as I could. Frostbite was a threat that was all too real when the frost sets in.

I pulled all of my belongings into a cardboard box, piling other on top of it then grabbing my blanket to drape over my shoulders as much as I could. The worst thing I could decide to do would be stay still. I made my way thro the lights of the street, taking in the white blanket that covered everything. About two or three inches had fell while I was out, and it only got worse by the minute.

My trip took me back to the local Homeless Center. There were so many bikes and carts out front, it was a site that was hard to miss. My feet approached the chance of warmth I had, but faltered as I came to the door itself. I could hear laughter inside, families that were probably having dinner with others, giving and getting jokes, making the best of the hands they were dealt. There were probably some like me, too. Alone and doubtful.

Accepting and impassive.

I sighed, turning and walking back to my alleyway. The night was silent at this time of night, cars left alone to collect pounds of heavy snow on their weary, frozen shoulders. The air was so thin. Silent footsteps cracked into the white ashes of winter, a pace back and forth through the thin break in buildings that left a valley in the snow. I was pacing until my paw pads cracked and my muscles screamed for me to stop. At least I knew there was still blood in my veins.

I knew because I could feel it freezing inside of me.

There were no goodbyes to the world that took me into the darkness. Only a thud that was swallowed by the winter's breath. The darkness that had settles in my heart and mind had finally moved over my eyes, and like the snow falling over my body, it took me into it's warm embrace, and I felt something like never before.

Freedom stood at the tip of my last breath. And I never thought death would be so free.

A fleeting thought passed through, barely understandable over the fuzzy static in my head. Joy might never know that I died at all. My only hope was the letter that I wrote to her, ages ago, which still held her last-known address. Smudged and faded, but still visible. My heavy arm pulled away, reaching to the cardboard box that was a few inches from my fingertips. Please, just reach… it…

My hand fell flat, gripping the paper, crinkling it into my palm with desperate hope and abandon that whoever found me in the morning, if that, would tell her that I loved her.

Then I slept..

Chapter 3

I never expected to find him like that.

The dog that bumped into me was the cause of so much anger. I was sure that he'd stolen my wallet. There was no other explanation other than that, yet when I traced my footsteps back to the place we collided the day before and searched around, nothing could prepare me for the sight I saw. Needless to say, I'd called the authorities first, then I pulled his body up from the snow. He was half-buried and his fur was matted with ice.

I felt him for a pulse, letting my heart pump again after feeling a beat. It was faint, but it was still there. He was alive, I thought, letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in. It was a few minutes before the patrol cars showed up in front of the alleyway, ambulance in tow.

EMTs jumped out and immediately began tending to him, while the officers that arrived interviewed me. A large polar bear and an equally tall stallion started questioning me, and I replied the best that I could before excusing myself back to the ambulance.

"Are you the one that found him?" A hare asked, pulling her thick jacket back around her shoulders.

"Yes. I'm Leon Harris, thank you for doing your job." I smiled, despite the churning fear in my stomach. There were always a few issues with being a 'feeling' person, more so in business than anything else. You learn that masks are pretty necessary. Unfortunately, she saw straight through by screen, giving me a look filled with the concern I felt.

"He should be alright, just as long as he get the proper medical care. I don't know what he'll do about the cost of it all, but-"

She was cut off with my interjection. "I'll pay for it. Any costs that are acquired, I'll give my information to the hospital. They can bill me there." I dug a claw into the tip of my index finger for my outburst. I didn't have a billion dollars, no, but I was better off than many.

I continued to watch the process of the bustling professionals, the medics, the police, and the on-lookers that stood over to the side, curiously watching each and every move they made like a pack of wild vulures.

"Mr. Harris, would you like to ride in the ambulance? It's almost too cold to be out right now, and we need you information on record as soon as possible." The rabbit looked up at me and I took a moment before nodding. SHe was right, the sky was turning dark with the heavy winter weather. I climbed into the back, trying by best not to look at the body of the dog laying infront of me.

I do beleive I spent the whole ride looking at him, studying him, wishing with every ounce of my being that this lifeless-seeming dog would live to see another day, and that I could help him in some way.

Chapter 4

There was a steady beep from above my head, up to my right side. It didn't falter. Was it time for school already? Anytime now, Mom would hear it, and she'd come knocking on my door, then my sister's, then she'd wake dad up to help with breakfast. It'd probably be pancakes, if Dad had any say in the matter. He loved every aspect of them. The taste, the texture, the mess they made, and every step in the process of cooking them. I knew I should get up to save mom the trouble, but my body felt so heavy.

My chest was a dead weight, and I struggled to raise it each breath I took. I could hardly feel my arms at my sides or my feet. It took me a long while before I felt I could open my eyes, and when I did, my heart fell. Every bit of memory from the last two years flew back into my mind, like the crashing of a wave to shore. It flooded my chest, drowning my in the pain of believing I was back.

The stark white ceiling and fluorescent lights burned by retina, as the scent of antiseptic singed my nostrils. It was an overpowering smell that I recognized immediately.