i thank Reana (DA) for writing this and i give her full credit.

enjoy...

One day I was walking down the road of the sound village from my practice with Gui-sensei and Kakashi-sensei, I saw a peice of paper on the ground.Of course I hate litter-bugs so I walked up to it and picked it up.

I saw it had writing on it so I stopped myself from stuffing it in my pocket, and I began to read...

Oi, random person. If you're reading this then that means you're either interesting in joining Akatsuki, or already have, nya Then again there might be other reasons for you reading this, but whatever. Remember to read the rules carefully, and follow them with extreme caution, unless you want to get eaten by a giant muffin

Love,
Akatsuki Leader Rin

Rin is very busy, so I, Uchiha Itachi, will be writing the rest of the Guide, and will explain the rules and requirements of our organization to the best of my ability.

Requirements:

Items marked are mandatory.

- Cloak
- Hat
- Standard Akatsuki fishnet Shirt (Any other sort of shirt is acceptable)
-Standard Akatsuki pants
- White leg warmers (This in no way associates us with Maito Gai)
- Sandals
- Purple nail polish
- S-ranked, or, "Kick-Butt" Ninja Skills

I stopped reading for a second to think about how my training had gone today, and the last missions.

I indeed had "kick-butt" ninja skills for a chunin.

I began to read again...

- We will have to slash the middle of your village headband down the middle.
- Poker skills
- Loyalty to the leader
- Ring ( For fully qualified members. Not required for subordinates, e.g: Tobi)

FAQ

And now, I will answer some questions frequently asked by subordinates, new members, and fangirls.

What is your goal?

That would be a spoiler. It's in the manga. I'll leave you to read that on your own.

How do I become a fully qualified Akatsuki?

Since all ten rings are taken, a member would have to die before it would be possible to promote a subordinate. But if a space was available, you would have to prove that you have what it takes to be one of us. Challenging an existing member is one way, another is to survive watching 48 hours of the teletubbies. I suggest the first option, as no one has survived the latter.

Why do you wear those weird outfits?

The leader loves the bell hat, and the cloak is good for hiding out movements. Also, we wear them to prove that we look good in anything.

Will you marry me, Itachi?

No. I'm spoken for.

Rules

These rules are to be followed by all members. Failure to do so will be punished severly by the leader. All Akatsukis must agree to the following:

1. The leader shall never be referred to as "Rinnykins" or "Pinny clause"
2. Sasori is NOT "Pinoccio."
3. Art is a bang. Do not contradict this statement.
4. There is nothing strange about Deidara saying "un."
5. Do not start saying "Un" yourself.
6. Kisame is blue. This do not justify singing "Eiffel65" songs in his presence.
7. Zetsu is allowed to contradict himself as much as he wants to.
8. No prank phone calls to Otogakure. As amusing as it is to annoy Orochimaru, the long distance bills make it detrimental to our fund- raising.
9. No eating Muffins. EVER.
10. No "Fish are friends not food" jokes to Kisame
11. No humming of the "Jaws" theme, either.
12. No comparing our plans to that of "Pinky and the Brain."
13. Do not sing "Puff the magic dragon" around Ryuu.
14. The "Barbie girl song" is banned from the headquarters.
15. Tobi is fair game for any teasing, taunting, or abuse.
16. No suicide attempts ( THIS MEANS YOU, RYUU!)
17. Deidara's clay is not a plaything.
18. What happens at poker night, stays at poker night.
19. Keeps sake away from Ryuu at all costs.
20. Bathe regularly.
21. Nothing said while drunk should be taken seriously.
22. Nothing said while drunk should be repeated.
23. Kakuzu is not " Mr. Monopoly", or "Scrooge," and should not be referred to as such.
24. No ordering Pizza to the hideout.
25. You are in no way "Bringing sexy back."
26. We will conquer all small villages- except for Crazy no sato. Their leader baked our leader cookies.
27. Marshmallows are evil. PURE EVIL.
28. Gin does NOT resemble Orochimaru. It is wrong to imply that she does.
29. Ryuu does indeed resemble a porcelain doll. But please refrain from pointing that out. For safety reasons.
30. Do not, under any circumstances, remove Ryuu's blindfold without permission
31. No streaking. (I'm talking to YOU, Kisame.)
32. DeiRyuu fanfiction is strictly prohibited.
33. GinRyuu fanfiction is also prohibited.
34. Ryuu is not to be referred to as an "Emo kid."
35. Or an "Angst monkey"
36. Gin is not to be referred to as anybody's "Bitch"
37. You are not "Luke" nor am I your father.
38. The "I'm not wearing underwear" song is banned.
39. We are not "Akatsukilicious"
40. Hidan is NOT "Draco Malfoy."
41. Do not sell Sasori's puppets over "Ebay"
42. Even if "It's what he would have wanted"
43. You are NOT "The Real Slim Shady"
44. No tackle-glomping anyone smaller than you are, for safety reasons.
45. Though funny, do not tell Gin that she is "The weakest link, goodbye."
46. "My little pony" does not belong in the Akatsuki hideout.
47. No singing, or dancing to the "Pepto Bismol" song.
48. "Save a horse, Ride a weasel" is NOT funny.
49. No one cares if you "know where Waldo is."
50. There will be absolutely NO "going commando" under the Akatsuki cloak. ( This means YOU, Hidan)

Follow these regulations carefully, and you will be able to fit into this organization. Please dispose of this message carefully, so that it cannot be apprehended by enemies. (Burning, eating, etc.) Now, you've completed your first lesson of what it meas to be an Akatsuki. Congratulations, and good luck.

-Uchiha Itachi

As I finished reading this letter,I ran home to get my leg warmers, my fishnet shirt, purple nail polish, and my sandals.

As I ran up to the address with my mandatory clothes on-my sandals, my bleached leg warmers, and my fishnet shirt.-hoping they will give me the standard cloak and pants-I ran my way to the place.

As I made my way to the Door, I took out the peice of paper,and buttoned up my white cloak.(Beacause my fishnet shirt was see-through, and I had a mini skirt on)

I knocked on the door, and about 12 seconds later a man with black hair answered the door.He looked kind of scary, beacause he had red eyes and was glaring down at me.

"I..." I stutered,"W-want to j-join the Akatsuki please." I said holding up the paper.then he looked at the paper, looked at it for a second, and then looked at me and smileed.

My fears dissolved instantly.

"Come in, we will discuss your membership inside, in the house."