The studio no longer reeks of cigarette smoke and Pinesol but, rather, has taken up the crisp scent of Fresh Fall Pumpkin. Still, the smell of nicotine lingers, for no matter how hard Tweek tries, old habits never really die.
He stands on the balcony, a damp cloth in hand, and takes a deep breath in.
There's something special about his monthly Spring Cleaning routine. It's nice to have a routine. Change isn't something Tweek warmly welcomes with open arms.
This is the first time in a long time that Tweek is cleaning because he is expecting visitors.
It's late afternoon and the scalding temperatures of a mid-fall day in Colorado have already dropped drastically. Although the sun hasn't entirely dipped beneath the horizon, the sky is now a canvas painted with streaks of red-oranges and purples melting into each other, casting a deep bloodred light on Tweek's gentle features.
A fresh breeze conducts a soothing orchestra of rustling pines and carries away the accompanying choir of various songbirds. The lush foliage surrounding the apartment seems to continue indefinitely; as far as the eye can see, there is the faintest glitter of a lake tucked behind immense rocky structures. The beauty of the Rocky Mountains is so overwhelming that he reflexively grasps the air for support.
He forgot that Craig isn't there to hold his hand anymore.
Only after the glass door slides open does Tweek realize he's been overcome by a surge of emotions. Tears blur his vision and he promptly lifts a hand to roughly squeeze the bridge of his nose in that same hopeless attempt to restrain the few tears that he knew would imminently roll down his unshaven face.
Luckily, it doesn't take him long to regain his composure, so when he turns to face his lover shortly thereafter there is a weak smile on his face.
"You're crying again."
Craig stands in the doorway, his expression blank. The only thing that stands out to Tweek is his observant gaze: pale eyes sparkle in the light like the surface of Stark's in the wintertime when it's frozen over and dusted with sheets of powdery ice.
"I was," Tweek confirms with a curt nod. He takes a step forward and almost reaches out to touch the other's chest. It takes everything in him to force his hand to drop to his side while simultaneously fighting back a few tears threatening to well up in his eyes. Silently, Craig walks out onto the balcony and takes up a spot beside the blonde.
"I miss it, too," the taller of the two murmurs, "but there's no point in crying."
That's exactly something Craig would've said.
Craig is exactly like Tweek remembers him. Well, exactly like Tweek wants to remember him.
"And that's why I was crying," the blonde responds with a playful grin, "keyword being 'was'. It - It wasn't even an actual, good cry. Just a couple tears. Not a cry."
Craig casts Tweek a sidelong glance and smiles slightly. It's the perfectly-aligned and pearly white smile Tweek had instantly fallen in love with at a time that now feels so long ago. It was, like the gentle deer that roam the forest just outside of the studio, a rare sight that was easily scared away. Tweek could honestly count on his fingers the number of times he had seen that smile throughout the three years they had been together.
"You're wearing that?" Tweek looks down at the tattered tee hanging from his body that Craig gestures at. "Aren't Wendy and Stan coming over?"
The blonde reflexively reaches for the pack of cigarettes that is usually tucked into the waistband of his underwear. When he realizes it is missing, he pulls the cigarette tucked behind his ear and slides it between his teeth. "At six, yeah."
"Oh, okay." Craig watches the flame produced by Tweek's lighter dance in the wind before curling into a thin column of smoke. As he slowly averts his eyes, he scratches a spot behind his ear and clears his throat. "I thought you didn't like five-minute showers though." He catches Tweek's brow raise through the corners of his eyes and can't help but bite back a small smile. "It's a quarter to six right now, babe."
In the blink of an eye, Tweek snatches an ashtray from the railing before he scrambles back into the apartment. The Beach Boys sing to him from across the room as he exits the bathroom about ten minutes later, and Craig is seated in the lounge chair beside their bed. He's fixated on whatever he's watching, which, at first glance, looks to be the recording of a live performance of some band.
Only after the blonde sidles up to his lover while towel-drying damp waves does he realize Craig isn't watching one of the performances he had filmed of just any band. He is watching a live show featuring The Shivs - a '70s throwback band Tweek had started playing guitar for back in his freshman year of college.
"God," Tweek slowly shakes his head as his eyes follow the swaying figures on the screen, "this is - we were - that's so bad."
Looking up at the other, Craig cocks his brows and moves his lips soundlessly. His gaze grows distant for a beat or two like he has lost himself in a memory, and then he quickly fixes his eyes on Tweek yet again and grins.
"I met you at this gig right here - you remember?"
Before Tweek can respond there's a knock at the door. He has to force himself to answer it, otherwise, he would've remained in his spot, doing nothing but struggling not to break down in tears again. He's greeted with a warm embrace and then a firm pat on the shoulder as Stan and his girlfriend invite themselves into the apartment. When Tweek turns after shutting the door, he realizes he's under close examination. For whatever reason, he feels like a criminal being stared down during an interrogation and therefore finds himself slightly shrinking back.
"Did you..." Wendy lifts a finger, mouth agape as she continues to search his features, "you got thinner, didn't you?"
Tweek lets out a small sigh of relief and his muscles instantly relax as he gently shrugs. He looks down at the front of his tee, then looks back up at the couple. "I - I guess? Hah, haven't really been - I kind of stopped working out for a while after... Well, I don't know. Guess I did lose some weight, huh?" He suddenly turns and calls out for Craig, who greets Wendy and Stan with a brief wave before adding his own comment regarding Wendy's question:
"Only place he'll never lose weight is in that fat ass, though."
With a roll of his eyes, Tweek once again turns his attention to the couple while biting back a timid grin. "He sure knows how to flatter a guy, huh?"
An unspoken knowledge lingers in the air and moves Stan to shuffle in his spot uncomfortably. Wendy refuses to meet his gaze and instead clears her throat while she lets her gaze wander. Stan doesn't know why, but it pains him to see all the pictures of the blonde and his boyfriend hanging on the walls.
It's like... It's like he feels like they shouldn't be there.
Nevertheless, he is quick to, in an attempt to ease the sudden tension in the room, step into the main section of the room and plop himself down on a stool beside the kitchen. Wendy follows suit, running her fingers along the marble countertop.
"How long've you had this place?" Stan asks. His eyes carefully follow the blonde as he sets a couple glasses down on their respective coasters. "Three years, right?"
"Yeah, three," Tweek speaks into the refrigerator. When he pulls away, there is a bottle of wine in his hand. "Craig and I wanted a place to ourselves, you know? Took his old man a while to let Craig off his leash - I mean, LA is a 15-hour drive from here, but... He's here now, heh. So."
The way he says this is unsettling to Stan. It's said in passing; it's a comment that is said too casually to be appropriate given the circumstances. Wendy too is upset by Tweek's tone, and she again turns to Stan as she slides a hand over one of his.
They're walking on thin ice right now, though, and they know their words must be carefully chosen lest they unintentionally hurt Tweek.
"Wh - Uh... What's with the wine? Who did what?" Wendy chuckles nervously. She's unable to look up into the blonde's eyes as Tweek pours her a glass. Stan squeezes her hand and gives a small shake of his head, but his girlfriend is still clearly fighting the urge to call Tweek out right then and there. Tweek smiles brightly and turns the bottle in his hand.
"I got it for our five-year anniversary! Best three hundred bucks I could ever spend."
"Y... Your five-year anniversary..." Wendy slowly echoes, "Yours and... Craig's?"
Tweek instantly feels the need to shoot Craig a reassuring smile that says he's still as loyal as ever. Then he gives the couple a confused look as he parts his lips and forces out a disbelieving laugh. It's a look that tells them he thinks they're the ones who are absolutely insane.
"Well, yeah! We always used to go to Napa after visiting his parents to celebrate our anniversary. And since we can't really... You know - go together anymore, I bring the bottle here to Craig." Tweek dismissively responds while setting out various pastries. He's evidently very distracted as made clear by his aimless wandering after he lights his cigarette using the flame of a nearby candle. "H - Oh, hey - do you need me to turn that off?"
"Turn off...?" Stan asks, hesitating to turn around and look at whatever Tweek is referring to because there is nothing Tweek could possibly turn off in that general direction. "What are you...? What -"
"Craig is listening to music while watching TV," Tweek sneers at his boyfriend playfully as he crosses the room and stands over the turntable, "again."
Stan and Wendy can't believe their eyes. They swap worried glances more than once, and Wendy parts her lips a couple of times before sinking back down when she realizes logic isn't something Tweek is going to listen to.
"Oh, hey! Speaking of: remember the band, Stan?" An ecstatic grin quirks at the corners of the blonde's lips as he sits on the arm of the lounge chair Craig is in then gestures for the others to join them in the main section of the room. "Craig's watching one of our performances right now - can you imagine it? That was us a little over four years ago. I... I know it's not always nice to remember it because... B-But!"
Stan almost doesn't want to get up. Wendy clearly doesn't either. Still, he plays along and forces a weak smile on his face as he stands and leads Wendy by the hand towards the bed.
But it's hard to play along when there's nothing to play along with. The TV isn't even on. Tweek is intently watching a pitch-black screen.
"... Oh..." Stan slowly starts. He genuinely doesn't know what to say. He wants to tell Tweek what is on both his and Wendy's minds, but he can't find it in himself. Tweek is obviously still extremely shaken up about... It. But it's come to a point where he's not just in denial anymore. It's way beyond that, and it's absolutely heartwrenching to watch. "... Yeah. H.. How could I forget? You hooked Wendy and me up through the band. Sh... She was a part of your vegan, tree-hugger club, right?"
"Greenpeace," Wendy corrects, her voice breaking and thick with tears as she hangs her head.
"Craig and I met through the band! We were just talking about that - weren't we, baby?" Tweek leans in close enough to press his forehead against Craig's and chuckles lightly. "You always used to keep insisting on getting a couple pictures of me with my guitar for an interview - an interview, might I mention, that never actually happened. And - And I was stupid enough to think you actually wanted photos. Man... You were always so weird. Heh, you - you still are!" The blonde turns to the utterly horrified couple staring back at him. "Let me tell you - just the other day, Craig told me the most insane story about his day. How did it start, huh? Something about... Ah, I don't remember. But it was insane, right? Y-Yeah! And..."
Tweek's voice quickly fades out as Stan's companion drones on. He's retelling some witty anecdote, but not to Stan and Wendy. It's heartbreaking to see how bad he truly is even after two years.
Wendy can't take it any longer. Watching Tweek go off like this - talking to 'Craig' when, really, he's talking to himself - it... It isn't right. It brings tears to her eyes, and she simply cannot allow this to go on any longer. Both Wendy and Stan have waited long enough for Tweek to say what all three of them already know, but he is clearly in deep denial and can't even accept the fact that... That...
"Tweek..." Wendy murmurs softly, brows knitting together as she reaches out to place a hand on his shoulder, "Craig... Craig is dead."
It's as if the whole world stops at that very moment. Stan holds his breath after seeing Tweek's body instantly go rigid. Wendy's eyes widen, and she parts her lips as if she quickly regrets what she'd said. After an uncomfortably long moment of silence, though, Tweek finally turns his body to fully face them. There's a sickly-sweet smile on his face, a smile so utterly sickening Wendy practically begins sobbing once she sees it.
"I know." He simply grunts, and without another word, he rises and returns to the kitchen to pour himself another glass of wine.