A/N: This idea came to me while reading a fanfic that mentioned eleven-year-old Remus. The idea was just too freaking adorable and the plot bunnies just kind of latched on and sucked the life out of me until I wrote it. (Yeah, vampire dementor plot bunny. Be jealous.)
And now for a disclaimer, since I've forgotten it on all my other stories and I'd rather not get sued seeing as I'm actually very broke, seeing as I'm actually still living with my parents, seeing as I'm actually still under eighteen... Yeah...
-Prim
The Hat Knows All
"Lupin, Remus."
At the sound of the Professor's voice, up stood a skinny, pale eleven-year-old boy with sandy blonde hair. Shaking ever-so-slightly, he made his way up to the front of the Great Hall, where he sat on the stool waiting for him. There, a worn, disheveled-looking hat was plopped, quite unceremoniously, onto the young boy's head. He frowned unhappily in a rather adorable, little-boyish sort of way and blew away the hair that had fallen into his eyes.
"Well hello, Remus Lupin."
When the hat first spoke, the boy- Remus- jumped in his seat and widened his brown eyes. The hat merely chuckled at his reaction. Then it paused in thought, contemplating who-knows-what with no regard to the fact that, well, it was a hat, and had no brain at all.
"Aha, an unusual one, I see," the hat murmured. A strange thing for someone to say- let alone a talking hat, thought Remus, blowing hair out of his eyes again.
"Werewolf, yes?" the hat continued in a sly whisper, so low that only Remus could hear.
That was supposed to stay a secret! "How do you know that?" Remus hissed, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.
"The hat knows all," it said simply, and continued, "On with it now. Let's see, smart like a Ravenclaw, very smart, and clever too... Yes, you would do well as a Ravenclaw..."
Remus tugged at his collar.
"...Loyal and hardworking, as a Hufflepuff... Ah, but no... What about Slytherin? No, not there, definitely not there..."
The hat slipped over Remus' eyes.
"Strong and brave, of course, a brave boy you are! That's it, smart, good-hearted, clever... Courageous, quiet as you may be, but you will have your time... So be it, then! GRYFFINDOR!"
The hall erupted into cheers as Remus made his way to the table adorned in scarlet and gold. He took a seat next to his newfound friend, Sirius Black, who patted him on the back as he smiled. Together, they awaited the sorting of their other friends and revelled in their Gryffindor pride.
Remus was in the right place; the hat truly does know all.