Oprah Vampire Show
Music starts.
Oprah: Hello, and welcome to the Oprah Vampire Show. Today our topic will be "Perfect Families; Are They Really That Perfect?" Joining us is the Cullen family.
Cullens walk in. All the girls scream for Edward.
Oprah: Hi and thank you for being on our show.
Carlisle: Thank you for having us.
Emmett: Yeah I mean now people get to see me on TV and realize that I'm a star!
Edward: Not in this century or the next.
Bella elbows him
Oprah: So Dr. Cullen-
Carlisle: Please, Hippty Dog Master
Oprah: Alright. So, Hippty Dog Master, how perfect is your family?
Hippty Dog: Well No family is perfect. We all have our ups and downs.
Rose: Yeah like today, Alice stole my diamond encrusted hair brush that Emmet got me for Christmas!
Alice: I gave it right back.
Rose: After you spilled frog blood on it!!!!
Audience: Ewwwwww
Alice: You licked it right off!
Esme: Girls! I'm so sorry Mrs. Vampire.
Oprah: No, it's fine. This just shows that not all families are perfect.
Emmett: And embarrassing. I found out that Jasper keeps a dairy.
Jasper: I do not!
Emmett: Yes you do! It even has Care Bear stickers all over the cover.
Jacob cracks up
Jasper: Care Bears are really helpful. They taught me a lot of use full things.
Jacob: Like what? How to find the gum drop forest or how to slide down a rain bow?
Everyone laughs
Jasper: You don't under stand me!!!
Runs out of the room, "vampire crying" Alice runs after him
Edward: Emmett, that wasn't vary nice. You shouldn't have done that.
Emmett takes out the dairy and shows Edward
Edward: Oh my god! He's such a pussy
Esme: Edward!! Don't use that language on TV! Use it at home
Edward: Yes, sorry
Emmett: Mamma's boy.
Edward: What did you say?
Emmett: I said you're a mamma's boy
Edward: Oh you no you didn't
Emmett: Yes I did. What are you going to 'bout it, little brother?
Edward: I'll tell everyone that you suck your thumb. Opps. I guess I just did
Emmett: Oh that's it! You want to go?!?!?!?!?!
Edward: Yeah, I want to go!!!!
Hippy Dog: Boys, please!
Oprah: Yes, no violence in the studio
Emmett: Fine, lets take it outside
Edward: Alright!
Bella: No! Now is not the time
Rose: Aw just let them go for it. It'll just be more annoying at home. I want to enjoy looking at myself in the merrier, not listen to those two fight.
Bella: I disagree. Edward, your more civilized then that. Please stay here with me.
Edward: …….But love…
Jacob: You can be the referee Bells. Make sure no one cheats
Emmett: Great idea dog!
Bella: Oh alright
The three of them run out
Esme: I'm so sorry, Oprah
Oprah: It's no big deal. No one's family is perfect…except mine.
Hippty Dog: Excuse me?
Oprah: I'm just saying that my family is way better then yours
Esme: Just because you run a TV talk show you think your better then us?!?!?!?!
Oprah: That's right
Hippy Dog: No one insults my family but me! Esme, Rose, Jacob; for battle forms.
Power Rangers theme song plays
Hippy, Jacob, Rose, Esme: WE ARE THE CULLEN RANGERS!!!
Oprah: Well join us next time. Good bi- ahhhhhhhh
Cullens jump on Oprah pulling off her wig
Rose: Ha! Told you she's as bald as Dr. Phil.
Everyone laughs. Music starts. Camera fades out