What you are now reading is not an actual chapter, but the announcement for a future story I am writing now.
You see, there has been a new breakthrough in fanfiction writing:
INSTANT FANFICTIONS!
They're published online before they're even finished!
That is why you now reading a preview for a story, I am writing before it's even finished.
Everybody got that? Good!
Now prepare to read forward!
I, and everyone else out there, makes such a big deal about the 40th anniversary of Star Wars that sometimes it can be easy to forget that there are other classic films that celebrate a big anniversary this year. One such example is the 30th Anniversary of one of the funniest films of all time, the film that gives great helmet, and the greatest Star Wars Spoof of all time...SPACEBALLS!
While looking over the archives of this website, I was shocked to found out that there actually is a Spaceballs The FanFiction Archive! So after getting over the shock that, that is actually on this website, I knew right away that I had to write Spaceballs The FanFiction.
But what would it be about? Everybody else has already attempted spoofs of the Prequel Trilogy, the Sequel Trilogy, Spaceballs 2: The Search For More Money, and Spaceballs III: The Search for Spaceballs II, so what could I do that was different and fun to read?
I figured that since one of the great joys of being a Star Wars fan is the wide selection of merchandise available for collecting (it's a fun hobby that never gets old), I still await for actual collectibles based on Spaceballs, or any Mel Brooks film for that matter, to be made available (I still want my Spaceballs The Flamethrower and replica Schwartz rings!) and since these days we get all those collectibles that celebrate the films of the 1980s, I decided that what I needed to do was create an ideal catalog for the wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, wide, WIDE, selection of merchandise that would ideally be available for Spaceballs, if Yogurt could actually get the merchandising rights available for us to buy all that stuff.
Admit it; if you had the chance to buy Spaceballs The Flamethrower, you would do it!
I am here to celebrate the 30th Anniversary of Spaceballs by writing the story you are about to read now:
SPACEBALLS THE MERCHANDISING CATALOG
In this catalog we will see merchandising like (but not limited to) Spaceballs the toys, Spaceballs the clothes, Spaceballs the bed sheets, Spaceballs the holiday decor, Spaceballs the sports gear, Spaceballs the furniture, Spaceballs the place mats, Spaceballs the toilet paper, Spaceballs the books, Spaceballs the video games, Spaceballs the keychains, Spaceballs the food, Spaceballs the lunchboxes, Spaceballs the costumes, Spaceballs the replicas, Spaceballs the instant cassettes, Spaceballs the music, and of course Spaceballs the flamethrowers! (The kids love that one!)
This catalog could go on forever; perhaps longer than Spaceball One itself! The possibilities for merchandising are endless!
I should also point there are ACTUAL pieces of Spaceballs merchandising actually out there to buy and they will also be listed here.
To know which pieces are actually real, the listing will be in BOLD, underlined, and be surrounded by the dollar symbol "$" and look something like this;
$Spaceballs: The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack$
You will know that this item is real and is available for purchase (but it will not be easy to find)
It is also a great chance for me, as both a collector and a fanboy, to spoof, satirize, ridicule, and otherwise make fun of the merchandising industry. As Mel Brooks himself say, "Only spoof what you love'" so spoofing the merchandising industry shouldn't be too hard.
Everybody got that? Good!
An actual chapter will be uploaded soon. How soon? (Don't ask; not even Dark Helmet could figure that out.)
If you can read this, you don't need glasses.