This chapter falls in the middle of "Nightmare" in Twilight before she was suppose to go to Port Angeles the next day. This is another way I imagined Bella's first encounter with Edward after realizing he could be a vampire. She has already had the nightmare and done the research on the internet.
I was listening to the movie soundtrack while I was lying in my bed, and it just came to me. I was thinking about the scene in the movie when Bella wakes up and sees Edward in her room and then reaches for the light and he's gone. And I thought what could have happened if he'd done that the night she'd had her nightmares and done all that research in the book. What if he'd decided to stay and reveal himself to her? How would she have reacted because she had just now suspected that the rumors might be true? She really hadn't had the time to process it and think it all through. What if he surprised her and she kind of freaked out on him? Would her reaction trigger is his kill instincts? What would happen then?
Chapter 8. Stalker
I had trouble falling asleep after the nightmares I'd just had. I kept wondering about the possibility of Jacob's stories about the Cullen's being true. Did it matter? I wasn't sure at this point. I finally drifted off to sleep. Again, Edward was in my dreams. I couldn't even escape him in my sleep.
Suddenly I jerked awake… or so I thought. Edward was standing in the corner of my room. Am I still dreaming? I wondered. Then I blinked and he was gone. Yes, only a dream. I jumped out of bed and went to where he had been standing. I lowered my head and whispered to myself, "Edward, come back."
Suddenly a light breeze hit my back. I remembered noticing my window was open, but my back was turned to it now. A sickly sweet smell hit me with the cold breeze – a smell that I had noticed when I was near him before at school. My heart skipped a beat remembering.
Something very icy and strong grabbed my shoulders and sent a shiver down my spine. I felt his cold sweet breath as he leaned in an inch from my left ear and whispered "Don't move." My heart raced uncontrollably now.
Then as soon as he'd said the words, he was standing just inches in front of me, not touching me now. I stared in surprise. Something suddenly made me think the stories were true as my brain processed that I was definitely not dreaming anymore. His golden gaze had me frozen.
"Be very still," he whispered as he leaned in toward my neck. His ice cold nose and lips lightly touched my neck just below my left ear. He swept his lips down my neck and made it halfway across my collar bone when I jerked from the sensation. His hands grabbed my upper arms forcefully now. "Please" – he pleaded, but it came out in a quiet growl – "don't move at all."
He seemed to be trying to forcefully hold me still now – his eyes tortured over a struggle I couldn't understand – and he leaned back in to place his cheek on the hollow of my throat. I couldn't jerk my shoulders with his iron grip on them, but now I trembled all over. My heart raced as the adrenaline in my system reached a new high. My breathing got faster and faster. Something in the back of my mind told me I couldn't escape now if I tried. He whispered low and urgent, "Please try to control your heart," – he raised his head and met my gaze, his eyes very dark now – "you're making it extremely hard on me." His eyes suddenly turned coal black and very wild. He looked like a crazed animal that was about to attack. I saw my own face in the black mirrors and realized now that I looked terrified, and I was.
There was no way to escape my death now. I knew I couldn't run. If I screamed, it would only put Charlie in more danger. Maybe I could at least spare him what would happen to me. All the times Edward had hinted at me that he was dangerous – they flooded into my memory – he had been serious, deadly serious. He had meant to warn me, to keep me away from him. I must have been tempting to him. That first day in biology – Oh! It made sense now, the look he had given me – he was trying to frighten me. For some reason, he didn't want to kill me… but he was fighting his instincts. He was a vampire. Of that, I was most certain now. What had made him come here tonight? What had changed that made tonight different? Was he tired of fighting? Or had waiting made his victory that much sweeter?
As I stared into my killer's eyes, my expression in the black mirrors changed. I looked different – curious – longing with feelings I couldn't understand. I did something that even I didn't expect or understand. I slowly lifted my lower arms – since he was only holding the top of them just below my shoulders – and ever so carefully put my hands on his sides. As I did this, his iron grip loosened and I could move a little more freely. His eyes were still black, raging – no doubt – with the desire to kill me. I reached further around him and inched closer, closer still.
Was this some sort of trick my mind was playing. I obviously had no sense of self-preservation. I was inviting death… or was I? Had my mind decided that since I couldn't escape, I should seduce my killer in hopes that he would change his mind? No. This was nonsense. I was insane – yes – that was the only explanation.
I slowly wrapped my arms around him – keeping my eyes on his – and lightly pressed my body against his. The cold shock didn't make me flinch this time. I lowered my head and placed my right ear to his chest. His breathing was heavy and fast like that of a lion right before the moment of attack. No heartbeat. I should have figured as much. As I held him, I felt his body relax a little. He no longer felt like a statue. His breathing began to slow. After what could have been no more than ten very long seconds, I slowly pulled back just few inches so I could see his face. His eyes were lighter now, although he looked like he was in shock. The crazed expression was still there though it was obvious he wanted to hide it.
As he held my gaze, a sudden wave of sadness swept over his face. He looked worried, distraught. "I'm so very sorry," he whispered, almost pleading. I became confused. What was he sorry for? For frightening me. For not killing me sooner instead of putting me through the anguish that had just been all over my face.
"What for?" I asked, my confusion quite obvious.
"For everything," he mumbled. "I should have never come here. I should have never gotten so close to you…" he trailed off. "The monster almost got the better of me" – he paused – "he still could at any moment. Oh" – he groaned – "why did you have to wake up tonight… to call out to me." He looked like he was in anguish.
"What do you mean 'tonight'?" I asked even more confused.
He suddenly looked very embarrassed. "Well, this isn't the first time I've been here."
"What?" I said, shock now all over my face. How many times had he been this close to killing me and I hadn't known it? Why hadn't he already grabbed me in my sleep? What had stopped him? My head now swam with questions I couldn't ask out loud.
"I've been here almost every night for the past two months now. I couldn't stay away." He grinned. "I enjoy watching you sleep… listening to you talk."
I panicked now, but probably for the wrong reasons. Not because I had a stalker I was unaware of, but because I was worried about what he had heard.
"What did you hear?" I quietly gasped.
"Oh, you said my name sometimes. That made me happy."
"How much?" I groaned, embarrassed now.
"Don't be embarrassed" – he calmly whispered now – "if I could dream, it would be of you." He reached up and brushed my cheek with his right hand.
Now that my imminent death had seemed to pass, I felt very weak, exhausted from it all. I let go of Edward and walked over to my bed and sat down. In an instant he was beside me holding my hand.
"Are you ok?" he asked nervously.
"Yes," – I tried to sound convincing – "I am just tired that's all." My curiosity got the better of me as the haze in my head cleared. "So what made you decide not to kill me?"
"Well, I didn't come here to attack you tonight," – he said sheepishly – "but then you woke up and saw me. I had hoped when I disappeared that you would think you were dreaming, but then you called out to me. For some stupid reason, I came back. I was perfectly in control for a moment, but when you jerked…. Then you started shaking – in fear I assumed – and the monster in my head laughed mockingly. Your pulse raced and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to resist. I could hear every beat, smell the adrenaline. It fueled my thirst – further fanning the flames in my throat I had been trying to ignore every second I was near you. I was about to give in when you did something I never expected. The fear in your eyes disappeared and you reached out and touched me – sending electricity all through me. I was shocked. I couldn't understand the change in your behavior. If that wasn't enough, you pulled closer to me! For a moment, my curiosity held the monster at bay. In all my years of watching human behavior, I couldn't process why you seemed to be inviting death, why you weren't scared anymore."
I gazed at him intently now, realizing how right I had been before. I fought back a shudder.
"You had somehow calmed yourself, and my thirst began to ease ever so slightly. I realized just how much I liked the warmth of your body next to mine. Emotions began flooding my head that I had never felt before. I had a new hunger that was foreign to me – I couldn't understand any of it. The thirst I understood, but not this. These new feelings took over my head and crowded out the monster for a few moments – long enough for me to regain my control."
I thought about what he was saying. It almost sounded like he had romantic feelings toward me. No, not this beautiful creature. There was no way he could ever think of me that way. I was deluded. But I realized I had those feelings for him. I had this desire to be close to him at any cost – even my life?
"Oh…" I said.
"Bella, I really don't want you to be afraid of me anymore," he begged. "It's easier for me to control myself if you're not scared because you're heart doesn't race out of control."
"I'll try," I said. I had so many questions I wanted to ask him, but now wasn't the time. He appeared as nervous as I was – although I was the only one of us in any danger. Maybe if we made it until tomorrow night, I would have the nerve to ask him about being a… vampire. Just thinking the word sent a chill through me although I wasn't really afraid. Edward must have noticed.
"Am I frightening you – am I too close?" he asked very anxiously.
"Oh no, it's not that," – I tried to hide my face a little – "I was just thinking."
"About what?" he persisted. "I can hear most everyone's thoughts except yours. That is part of why I became so curious about you" – he looked embarrassed again – "part of why I snuck in here every night."
I felt relieved he couldn't hear my thoughts. "Well, I was just thinking…" – I hated to open up this way – "about you being a… vampire. You know I have some questions I'd like to ask you." I sensed he was becoming apprehensive about my curiosity. "But they can wait a day or two if you'd like. It's ok. We've had a… um… stressful night, I guess." I smiled at him and he seemed to relax.
"Ok, that sounds good to me," he said. He locked his eyes on mine again. "Do you think you can mind this time if I ask you to be still again?" he whispered jokingly with a big grin.
"I believe so" – I tried to keep a straight face.
He turned toward me on the bed so that we were now facing each other. He gently placed his hands on my face and leaned in really close to me until our noses almost touched. His gaze had me mesmerized. I was perfectly still this time. Surely he wasn't thinking what I thought he was thinking. There was no way a vampire would dare try to kiss a human! Could they? He still kept his eyes locked on mine. "Stay very calm – I won't bite you," he whispered. Was he joking? I couldn't tell by his expression. Either way, it would be in my best interest not to fight him – bite or no bite. It would only make me suffer if he did decide to bite me.
He tilted his head and leaned a little closer. I could smell the sweetness of his cold breath. I closed my eyes finally. I felt him get closer to my face, slowly, carefully. Then he pressed his icy marble lips into mine more gently than I would have thought he was capable of. I felt an impulse shoot all through my body in an instant. It felt like I had been electrocuted. I suddenly grabbed the back of his head and pulled myself against his lips harder, feverishly. Suddenly, I felt him pulling my face away from his. His eyes were wild and black again. "Uh-oh," I thought.
"I thought you were going to behave…" he seemed to choke out the words as he trailed off.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I never would have thought someone… as beautiful as yourself… would ever be interested in me. I'm really sorry."
"It's ok, I think." His eyes slowly lightened again as he grinded his teeth a bit. Then he grinned, "I suppose you're only human."
"Do you see me that way – I mean um… romantically that is?" I immediately regretted asking this. I blushed.
"Bella," – he paused, seeming to choose his words carefully – "I may not be human, but I am a man. And you don't seem to give yourself enough credit. It's not only your blood that tempts me tonight."
"Oh!" I gasped at the revelation.
"If you don't mind now, I think I'd better go home for the rest of the night and relax a bit. You are going to be safe sleeping here by yourself aren't you – at least for a few more hours I hope?"
"Yes, I think I can manage," I said blushing. I yawned realizing it was 2:30 in the morning now. "I suppose I do need some sleep before going to Port Angeles tomorrow to go shopping with Angela and Jessica."
"Be safe tomorrow," he pleaded. "I may tag along and stay out of sight if you don't mind. We can talk again tomorrow night if you wish."
"That sounds wonderful," I said a little too enthusiastically. "I can ask you some of those questions then." He frowned at that. Maybe he was worried he would frighten me again by revealing more secrets. What more could there be? I would find out tomorrow.
"I guess," he groaned. "Are you sure you want to know?"
"Yes, of course."
"You're taking this surprisingly well, Bella – considering I could have easily killed you tonight. You always surprise me with your reactions."
"Don't worry about it, I'll be ok."
"Bella, you know that I do care about you a lot, don't you?" he sounded worried.
"Yes, I sort of realized that when you decided not to kill me." I smiled trying to encourage him. His face relaxed and he smiled a little.
"I'll see you tomorrow evening then?" he asked curiously – probably wondering if I would change my mind between now and then.
"Yes, I promise." I took his hands in mine and gazed at him reassuringly. He understood.
"Goodnight, Bella," he said softly and kissed me on the forehead.
"Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow," I said with a big smile across my face.
He stood up, looked at me, and was gone in the blink of an eye. It amazed me when he did something like that. I closed my window and climbed back into my bed. I dozed off to sleep quickly and slept peacefully dreaming of Edward.