A/N: Hello and welcome. I'm here to pop the internet's Mortician!AU cherry. Special thanks to Raz for the ideas and Chaussie for proofreading, because I sure as hell can't. D:
If you're still with me, enjoy.
The embalming was finally over. The open-casket viewing was supposed to take place tomorrow and Naruto didn't have much time in his hands to prepare the body. As a mortician, his duty with bodies was simple: wash and dress. His dad had always been better with chemicals, so Naruto usually left the embalming part to him.
He removed the mask he wore and prepared the necessary things for washing with earned practice before putting his gloves on. The curtains were drawn, letting the weak sunrays of the early morning in. The room they prepared the bodies was a basement, and the egress window didn't help much with lighting. The entire funeral home, especially the basement area, smelled of strong chemicals. The building wasn't exactly new; the exterior had been repainted to look less gruesome to no avail.
Things had been easier to handle before his grandfather had passed away. Dealing with bodies since he was a little kid, death was no strange concept to Naruto. However, he'd never seen a close relative on the table they used to prepare bodies for funerals before. It had been ironic. The man who'd washed hundreds of people was eventually washed by his own grandson.
Ever since then, Naruto was doing everything with his father. He was still very young, but he guessed the job had its benefits. For instance, being the only undertaker in town meant that he always had something to do. He had an incredibly stable job. Birth and death were the never-changing fate of the living.
And… well, that was about the only good thing about being a mortician.
He started gently dabbing the dead girl's face with a soft, wet sponge. The death certificate stood right next to the bucket of clean water he'd brought along, and as he dipped the sponge in it once more, he took a look at the papers. Poor thing was only 10 years old. The cause of death was unknown.
Naruto was used to washing babies and kids - if it were possible to ever get used to this, and he ached for them each and every time. The mother's face when she had left her baby girl here could be material for an Oscar-winning drama movie.
Naruto was just doing his job.
As he moved on to the lower parts of the corpse, he mixed some soap into the water. Removing the white cloth, he quickly but thoroughly washed her.
He needed help to turn the body over so he could wash the backside.
"Dad!"
Knowing it would take some time for the other man to come, he sighed, his eyes lingering on the girl's expressionless face before moving to the small, old-fashioned TV standing on a round table in the corner of the room. It was partially covered with clothes Naruto bought for the deceased who were less fortunate. Careful not to drip water onto the dark brown hardwood floor, he walked over to the table and with his right arm, he shoved the clothes to the side. They fell onto the dark green armchair right next to the table. It took Naruto a while to push the power button using only his elbow.
Some rock music channel was on. John Cooper's voice blared from the speakers and echoed in the room. " I'm awake! I'm alive! "
Oops. With a noise that resembled a snort, he changed the channel. Teen dramas didn't exactly interest him, but it was better than silently washing a body.
"I wonder if you liked watching these..." He checked the certificate again to remember her name. "...Nancy."
No reply.
"I've heard that most girls do," he mumbled, pouring a bit of lavender oil onto his palms. He rubbed them together, making the latex gloves slick. Absentmindedly, he massaged her stiff shoulders, then arms. It wasn't standard procedure to oil the dead unless it was specifically asked, but Naruto felt like doing it. "Maybe you didn't. Maybe you liked reading books instead. Or killing bugs." He scrunched his nose. "I did that a lot when I was a kid."
He cocked his head to the side to regard the TV. He couldn't understand what they were talking about for the life of him.
"Dad, I'm waiting!" He called out once more.
He heard a muffled response, and seconds later, the stairs squeaked under the weight of the older man as his father descended, entering the room. "What's up?"
"I need help with washing her back."
A white towel was wrapped around Minato's shoulders. His hair was wet. "You could've turned her over by yourself."
"Yes, but I don't want to."
Giving Naruto a look, he took gloves from the paper box on the other end of the table and put them on.
Naruto fixed his gaze on the screen. "Did it wash out?"
"I guess so." He grabbed hold of the thin shoulders of the girl on the table as Naruto supported her by the legs, and they flipped her. "Did you know the aspirator was clogged?"
"No," Naruto answered, taking the sponge again. "You think I wouldn't have told ya if I knew? I didn't enjoy seeing my dad covered in poop, contrary to what you seem to think."
Minato took a deep breath. He watched Naruto's hands wash the back of the corpse with delicate movements, rubbing the oil in. His eyes found the TV a moment later. "What are you watching?"
"Uh. Some show? I don't know."
Throwing Naruto a disapproving look, Minato surfed through the other channels to find something better for Naruto to watch, but eventually settled on the news.
"I'm gonna bring my laptop in here and watch a movie or something the next time I do this," Naruto complained, motioning his father to help him turn the body back to its original position.
"Don't do that. That's disrespecting the dead."
"It's a good thing that they're dead. They won't care what the person washing their body is doing."
The lacy, pink clothes brought by the dead girl's mother laid out on the other table, which they didn't use often. The town wasn't that big, but they had people die daily, although not more than two or three unless an epidemic broke out or an accident took place. Car crashes were pretty bad, and stitching a body torn in three pieces back together was appalling, even for Naruto.
"They left underwear too," he announced as he examined the pile of clothes. "We should put it on."
"Sure."
Pressing his lips together, he thought about what a loss it was for a person this young to die. "The wadding won't leak anything, right?"
"Hmm," Minato hummed distractedly, watching the news.
Giving out an exhausted sigh, Naruto started dressing the poor girl.
. . .
"I'm sorry for your loss."
With a bow, Naruto finished his greeting duty and watched the couple walk inside. Like everyone else - including Naruto himself - they wore black clothes.
He assumed there would be no latecomers. It was a little past noon. Everyone seemed to be devastated by the girl's early demise, and even the family's distant relatives had come. At least that was what Naruto understood from the crowd. They were pretty well-off, if the expensive clothes they wore gave anything away. Sadly, money couldn't bring back the dead.
Being a mortician didn't mean that Naruto was any different from his peers. He had hobbies, likes, dislikes. More importantly, like any other lad, he often got bored.
Watching a bunch of people mourn their loved ones wasn't quite enthralling.
He hid his distinct lack of interest and schooled his facial expression into something professionally neutral. After all, disrespecting these people was the last thing he wanted to do. He walked around for a while to help instead of sitting idly. Open-casket funerals were always tough. He offered napkins to a sobbing lady and kept an eye on her little son as she paid a visit to the bathroom. Then, he returned to the viewing room.
All things considered, the funeral went smoothly. Sure, there was some crying, but Naruto offered all the support he could give.
The next time he saw his father, Minato told him that the memorial service would take place right after the burial. It was unusual, but most of the relatives were out-of-towners, so Naruto figured it was best to have the memorial before they left.
The burial process itself was shorter than any other burial Naruto had ever witnessed. Minato said he could leave if he wanted to, but Naruto wanted to stay for the memorial, at least for a little while. He could understand people's pain, and wanted to be useful. It was his duty as an undertaker, but he also did it because he cared.
His father seemed to be taking care of everything, so he decided to help in the small kitchen. They put lasagna onto plates, and Naruto sliced the freshly baked French bread as a woman prepared the salad plates. (Naruto guessed she was one of the girl's aunts.)
They all moved to the smaller hall and Nancy's mother offered to help Naruto bring tea out for everyone. It was heartbreaking to see her hands shake as she tried to calm herself. Then, the memorial service started.
"She was such a nice girl," spoke the mother, taking the initiative. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. From his seat by the door, Naruto could only see parts of her black, knee-length dress. Taking a deep breath, she rubbed at her eye and shuddered. "She was so different from the others. She did nothing wrong... She didn't deserve death."
Leaning back, Naruto started chewing on his lower lip. A few nodded in agreement, and the father was next to speak. "My angel was sent from above. God took her back to his side. We can only hope to meet her again in heaven."
Naruto sipped his tea. A couple more people spoke, and he wondered whether it would be too weird for him to, right at this moment, ask for the sugar from the lady sitting in front of him?
They all listened to a close friend of the dead girl tell a story, occasionally taking breaks to sob and drink some water. Naruto looked at her with sympathy. Losing a friend at that age must be very difficult.
However, the stories didn't end. The more they spoke about her, the longer the service got, and Naruto was honestly starting to get bored of everything going on. He supposed he wasn't needed anymore since they had moved on to happier memories.
Tossing a look to his father, he stood up and quietly fled from the room.
. . .
No deaths happened until noon the next day. Naruto decided waiting was stupid and, to seize the day, he arranged a meet up with some friends.
An old man conveniently chose that hour to draw his last breath.
There was nothing he could do about it, and his friends had come to terms with his job long ago, so he bid them goodbye, walked to the funeral home and got into the hearse. The hospital was closer to the other end of town, and it took him longer than usual to bring the corpse. On the bright side, the man hadn't been living alone in a house and the nurses had informed Naruto about his death. Finding rotten bodies of abandoned, old people was never nice.
The body was light in the coffin. He did the standard procedure without any help and drove the corpse to the cemetery. Sometimes, especially when no funerals were held for older people, he thought about his own life. He didn't hate his job. Yes, it wasn't ideal, but someone had to do it. What worried him was that… he didn't want to die alone. He didn't want to be forgotten.
Despite the chilly weather outside, he watched the keeper lower the coffin into the already dug grave. The movements of the shovel weren't interesting, but he stayed until the burial was over before he said a small prayer and left in a hurry.
. . .
This time, he had his laptop on top of the small table that used to hold the TV. He was watching Oldboy and washing two bodies that belonged to a newly wed couple. Carbon dioxide poisoning, their certificates said. They looked young, too.
"This part never gets any less gross," he said, his voice muffled by his mask. He was referring to the movie, but he guessed it could apply to the scene before him too. The corpses had been left alone for two whole days before they were found. Naturally, they stank, and they were partially purple.
"What kind of psycho would do that to a person?"
He let go of the sponge and brought an empty bucket, placing it by the table under the woman's head. He noticed that her hair needed washing.
"It's not a bad way to go, y'know? I imagine it must be like… falling asleep." He soaked her hair and squeezed some shampoo into his palm. "Meh. Better than drowning."
"Talking to yourself again?"
Naruto grinned at his father, though it was concealed by the mask. "Nah. To my new friends."
Minato shook his head in disapproval. "Maybe you need another profession for the sake of your sanity."
"Aww. Don't say that!"
"I told you not to bring your laptop here," Minato said in earnest, changing the subject.
Naruto wrung her hair to get rid of the excess water. "They don't mind."
"How can you possibly know that?"
Naruto looked to the corpses. "Hey, guys, mind if I watch something while I prepare you two for the funeral?" His eyes found his father's, then he raised his brows. "See? They don't mind."
He received a light smack on the head.
"Ow. That hurt."
"That was the intention," Minato chuckled. His father was a strict man when it came to this, and respected his job endlessly. But he also appeared to be able to empathize with his son. "I'll do the rest. You go watch your movie."
"Sweet," he took off the gloves, then the mask. "Thanks."
"Make sure you don't lose track of time. You know I can't carry coffins without help."
"Yeah, yeah. I'll come back in… how about two hours?" Naruto inquired as he washed his hands in the small sink by the door. The cupboard they stored the chemicals in was right next to it. "Did they tell you anything about the funeral?"
"Open-casket. Oh, could you pick up lilies on your way back?"
Naruto nodded. "Sure."
He unplugged the charger and grabbed his laptop, stuffing it into the laptop case. Without giving the dead another look, he climbed the basement stairs. They used the ground floor he currently stood in to welcome the families of the deceased. Four doors were present; one of them was a relatively big hall that was used for holding funerals. It had about five windows so the atmosphere wouldn't be gloomy and thick. The other door opened to a small kitchen. Some people needed to be comforted more than the others, and Naruto gladly served them hot beverages. It was also useful when he had to work in until late hours. The third one was another hall - smaller than the other one, and they used it less often. The last one was a small bathroom.
Naruto had by all means no intention to stay for another minute. He passed through the narrow corridor to let himself out, clutching his laptop case.
. . .
The reception took place one week after the funeral. Only a handful of people came. From what Naruto heard, the couple had married without their parents' consent, and were disowned, which was the reason why they had decided to do it at the funeral home instead of their house. Some uncles and aunts were here, as well as a couple of friends.
He talked to each and every person he came across. The best friend of the woman expressed her gratitude with damp eyes. Naruto didn't deny her a hug when she asked for one. Just when he thought that he had talked to everyone, a man standing in the corner caught his eye. He wore a black, knee length trench coat with his hands shoved in his pockets. Naruto briefly wondered if he'd seen the guy before. They looked about the same age, but his face looked somehow familiar. It wouldn't necessarily be surprising if he'd attended to services before. Maybe he had a large family, or simply knew many people.
With slow steps, Naruto walked toward him. The dark eyes fixed on the wall drifted to look Naruto in the eye, and Naruto offered a polite nod.
The man nodded back.
"I'm sorry for your loss," he softly said. What he received in response was another curt nod. He was used to hearing just about anything when he tried to converse with grieving people. Apathy was new… and it made Naruto feel kind of uncomfortable.
So, in an attempt to make the man open up, he decided to ask something. "Were you close with them?"
The tranquility disappeared from his face, leaving in its place a small frown. The long bangs by the sides of his face hid his eyes. "Not really." His voice was throaty.
"Okay," Naruto gave a sympathetic smile. Perhaps the man was one of those stoic types. "I'll be around if you need me."
After that, he organized the wedding photos placed on a shelf. He lit up the candles and checked the guest book to see if everybody had signed it.
Guests had brought their food themselves. Naruto, as customary, helped with setting the buffet. Seeing appreciative faces all around was making him feel useful. Also, the food looked good, so he didn't mind the fact that he was not getting paid for this. The funeral itself had cost enough. He wasn't going to charge these people for the reception, too.
They sat down with plates in hand, forming a circle with the chairs. The best friend started to talk about the dead woman. She told them how they had met and how they had gotten close, while Naruto shoved a spoonful of salmon quiche into his mouth.
Before he knew it, it was almost his turn. He put his plate down with one hand (the other one was busy being held by the sobbing lady next to him, who was about to finish her speech).
The silence embraced the room, and he took a deep breath.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," he said, loud enough for everyone to hear. His eyes roamed over the sad faces. One of them stood out for some reason. It was the guy from earlier. He either didn't care a great deal despite coming here, or was ridiculously good at hiding his sorrow.
He didn't think he was expected to talk much - they knew he didn't actually know these people, didn't they? - so he gave one of his memorized speeches about the importance of accepting death and moving on.
Tears were shed, and memories were told. Naruto sighed when it was finally over. He was told they were going to clean up in order to not cause discomfort for Naruto. So, he talked to a few more people who sought comfort. He was always told he had a natural talent for it, and his job was the perfect opportunity to use it.
Just when he was thinking about taking his leave and leaving the rest to his father, he saw the don't-let-them-see-my-emotions guy by the door, preparing to depart. Naruto considered rushing to his side to question him, but a part of him thought he was being inconsiderate. He had no right to probe if the other person didn't want to talk about it.
So, he helped around a bit more, taking off only when the other was gone.
. . .
Months passed by. He was on his usual schedule through most of it. There had been two or three days where no one had died, and he'd gone shopping with friends. It had been liberating, but truthfully, he'd missed his job. The ones teasing him for this revelation had earned themselves punches on the arm.
He tried not to dwell on it too much, but in the meantime, he'd found some sort of… fixation. At least that's what he'd thought until a couple weeks ago.
It had all started on a normal day. Naruto was directing a funeral by himself since his father had come down with a cold. Experiencing how it was done for years meant that he knew how to handle everything perfectly.
Talking to guests as usual had ended up with him noticing a tiny detail. He'd felt stupid for not realizing it earlier. This one particular person was there in nearly each and every one of the funerals. At first, he'd thought he was delusional, but it was impossible to miss that face whenever he stopped by. Naruto tried checking the guest lists, but it only took a few funerals to realize the man wasn't signing them.
He had tried to make himself believe that the guy was the son of the mayor or something. It would be a good reason to know almost half of the town. He was used to seeing the same person more than once, but the situation had simply gone crazy after the 12th or 13th time - he had eventually lost count. He had a hunch that this guy didn't really know the deceased ones at all, not even their families. After all, Naruto had never seen him interact with others. He simply stood there, watched, then left after it was all over.
He tried not to think too much about it, but he was curious. It was too interesting for him to overlook.
Eventually, someone else died. This one was an 89-year-old lady. Her grandchildren were the ones who had called the funeral house. Minato went to pick up the body.
When his father came back with two others helping him carry the wooden coffin and another one following them, it took Naruto only a second to realize one table wasn't going to be enough. He pushed the other one and connected their sides so that they could finally start preparing her.
Normally, families weren't allowed downstairs because of the dark aura that could agitate them further, but these ones didn't look affected by it in the slightest. The only female was holding a bag, and her sadness could be read from her eyes. She held out the bag for Minato to take as Naruto opened the coffin.
"This was her favorite dress when she was young," she explained. "I want her to wear this."
Minato took out the fabric, tossing it to Naruto. The dark red dress was barely a size 4, and the woman… at least 14.
"I'm afraid we can't fit her in this," Minato said, shaking his head.
The woman tsked. "You can."
Naruto stepped forward, aware of the eyes turning to him. "I'm sorry, but it's impossible. The seams will burst."
The brown haired male put a hand on her shoulder. "Come on, Temari."
"Fit her in this, or else I'm not paying," she sternly said, peering at the coffin. Then, she left, the other male following her.
Naruto watched them ascend the stairs. It was only him, Minato and the ginger male left in the room. Father and son shared a look while the other looked around with slightly narrowed eyes. Minato rubbed his arm and said something about preparing for the embalming before leaving.
"Don't mind her," the guy muttered and broke the silence, crossing his arms nonchalantly. "Just cover her with a random red dress. She won't notice the difference."
"Are you sure?" Naruto asked. Was the guy taking the woman for an idiot? "I mean, I'm not really worried about the money, but I'd rather not upset a grieving person even further."
"Don't worry about that. My sister is not as fragile as she appears. By the way, do you like working here?"
"I don't mind it." Naruto started putting a new pair of gloves on. "You know you're not supposed to be here, right?"
The guy took a few steps toward Naruto. "Do you want me to leave?"
"Uh. Not particularly, but you should if you don't want to watch your late grandmother get washed by a stranger." He grabbed the biggest bucket they had and sauntered to the sink. He grabbed the green, plastic hose, thrust it up the end of the faucet and turned the water on.
"I don't mind it."
Naruto gave him a look for mirroring his earlier answer.
"I'm Gaara."
"Naruto."
"Well," Naruto put the hose back to its place. "Since you're so eager to stay, could you lend me a hand?"
"Sure."
They carefully moved the bucket. Gaara sat down in the armchair occupied by clothes after putting them aside. Naruto guessed that the guy couldn't see much from that angle, but it was still weird. He wasn't one to talk, having washed his own grandpa, but still .
"This place reeks of something."
"Yeah. It's probably the chemicals you're talking about. Dad should be back in a couple of minutes." He wiped his forehead with his forearm. It was getting hot in the room. "You're not gonna watch the blood being sucked away, are you?"
"No. Of course not." He stood up.
"Good," Naruto chuckled. "It's no fun."
"This should do it, by the way," Gaara said, grabbing hold of some red fabric from the pile of clothes. "It's the same tone of red."
"Alright."
"Well, then. It was a pleasure meeting you."
Naruto smiled. "You, too. See you at the funeral."
As Gaara left the room, Naruto took a deep breath.
. . .
Taking a drink from his fresh orange juice, he crossed his legs and leaned back. He was sitting in a bench at one of the large corridors of the funeral home. Some lady had told him they were taking care of everything and he should sit down and rest - all the while shoving him down from his shoulders and not shutting her mouth even when Naruto tried saying it'd be better for him to stand in case anybody needed him.
So, here he was, watching a room full of strangers grieve their loved one from outside of the room.
Naruto didn't have a huge family. It had always been him, his father and grandfather before the latter had passed away. He occasionally visited his mother's grave. It had been a tough birth, Minato had said. The town was much more developed now and Naruto luckily had never washed a woman who had died during childbirth.
He impatiently tapped his foot on the floor. This household was huge as it is, he'd seen it during the burial, but the woman apparently got along with her other relatives unlike many at her age. Old people tended to be… unstable and Naruto didn't 89-year-old man had hugged Naruto and thanked him for coming to get his body before dying. The experiences had piled up and he could hardly be surprised by anything at this point. The existence of a very sane old person was possible, just not very common.
One thing kept him busy like it often did while he absentmindedly swung his legs back and forth: the thought of the mysterious funeral-crasher. Why a person would do that, Naruto had no idea. He'd never had the chance to ask. The man couldn't really be related with each people funerals were held for, could he? Perhaps he was a serial killer who found pleasure in seeing the people he killed in a casket. He wondered if he'd come this time, too.
The kitchen door was open. Naruto got to his feet with a sigh. He could at least check if there was anyone who needed comforting and a cup of tea.
Pouring hot water into two cups, he put tea bags in them and made his way to the other room. Everyone seemed busy talking to each other, some were sitting in the pews, and a bunch of them were by the windows. Naruto squinted, looking for a crying face to comfort, and when he found none, he leaned against the wall, looking to his left when he saw Gaara approach. They'd talked a couple more times, and Naruto honestly thought Gaara was a fun guy, even if a bit too blunt at times.
"Hey," Naruto greeted.
"I could use tea."
Naruto raised a brow. "You don't seem upset."
"I am. This whole room is filled with inauthentic sycophants and it's making me upset." He took one of the cups from Naruto without announcement. "Thanks."
"Tsk," Naruto made a face, then shrugged and took a sip from the other cup. "You have a large family."
"I certainly do."
"You know everyone? Like, their names and such?"
Gaara shook his head. "No idea. I haven't even seen some of them before."
"Oh." He chewed on his lower lip for a while, his eyes peering at one of the chandeliers. "I guess it's no use to have a large family if you don't know them."
"I didn't ask for this. But yes."
They silently drank their tea. Naruto threw Gaara a glance. "Did your sister notice the dress?"
"Yes," Gaara said, then quietly sniggered. "Her face was as red as my hair."
"God, will she castrate me for that?"
Gaara put a hand on Naruto's shoulder while shoving the empty cup into his hand, and offering an appreciative smile. "You're safe. I have relatives to meet now. Talk to you later."
A corresponding smile formed on Naruto's lips. "Bye."
He lingered there for a couple more minutes, just watching. He eventually decided to put the cups back in the kitchen and find his father. The last time they'd seen each other, Minato was busy trying to arrange the catering.
Distracted, he washed the cups and left them to dry. He checked out the window. The front yard looked empty, and the catering truck was long gone. He cracked the knuckles on his right hand.
One of the kids entered the kitchen and asked for water. Naruto filled a glass from the tap and gave it to her, telling her to leave it on the counter after drinking, then he walked out to search for his father. He gave another glance to the crowded room, just in case his father had come in while he was gone.
"Naruto, I was looking for you."
Slightly startled by the harsh tone, he turned around. "Dad. I was looking for you too. What's up?"
Minato's frown was perturbing. "I had to make them put the food in the smaller room since there's no space in the main hall."
"Ah, yeah. It must be dusty in there, though," mused Naruto.
"Yes, because a certain someone hasn't been cleaning around properly."
Naruto looked away.
"I wiped the tables, but clean around a bit until people start asking for food," Minato quietly said, but he sounded frustrated.
Naruto nodded, raking a hand through his hair while he started heading to said room. He didn't like it very much in there. It had only two windows, so it was much darker than the other, and the sculptures and paintings around were unnecessary and disturbing. At least that's what Naruto thought. Minato seemed to like them very much. If that was the case, he could do the cleaning himself, though Naruto wouldn't dare voice these thoughts. His father wasn't a hot-blooded person, but he could be very scary when he wanted to be. Cleanup was Naruto's duty, and he was fully aware that he was not a kid anymore and this was his profession. And he did take it seriously. It's just, sometimes, he was overwhelmed by constantly doing this.
He grabbed a mop, a bucket full of water and a rag to dust from one of the cabinets in the bathroom. Under his father's watchful gaze, he proceeded moving to the other room. He pushed the door open with his shoulder, then closed it with a foot and put the cleaner bucket down, dipping the mop in it, then squeezing the water out with the help of the attached wringer.
He started cleaning from one corner, the tables were lined up in the middle of the room, and when he looked to the other side of them to see how many sculptures he had to dust, he realized there was another figure standing by the biggest statue.
It felt odd to recognize the person just by seeing their hair. The black trench coat was helpful, too.
"You're here again?" He said, though the sentence sounded more like a statement rather than a question. He hadn't thought of confronting him before, but this seemed like a perfect opportunity to do so. He wanted to know why .
Only then did the other man turn around, wearing a perfectly oblivious face. "What?"
Naruto let go of the mop, wincing when it hit the ground with a loud clatter. "I work here. I've seen you in at least twenty funerals in the past two or three months."
The culprit made a face. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't you even dare deny it," Naruto took a few steps toward him. "Do you take pleasure in watching people grieve their deceased loved ones?" He narrowed his eyes, gripping the edges of a table. "Or you might be a necrophiliac."
The disgusted frown was there without a doubt, even though it disappeared within seconds. "I imagine I could find better places to violate dead bodies if that were the case." He turned back around, continuing to stare at the carved piece of stone. "I've heard cemeteries are completely unoccupied at night."
"I wouldn't be surprised if you said you visit cemeteries every day," Naruto bit out. "What's making you come here?"
"Food is good."
Naruto's mouth hung open. The nerve this guy had! This was a place built for people to grieve, not to stuff their faces just for the hell of it. And Naruto could tell he didn't need free food either. Even if he did, the town had an excellent quality soup kitchen. Crashing services had nothing to do with being in need. Whatever sympathy he had for the guy vanished rapidly. "You're lying."
The irritated reply came. "Don't you have cleaning to do?"
"I'm not doing anything until you tell me why you keep coming," Naruto exclaimed. "It's like you have a morbid hobby of seeing dead bodies and attending memorials. Are you demented or something?"
"Hm."
He crossed his arms. "Is that a yes?"
"You want to hear a reason?" The guy turned around once more. The annoyed expression had left its place to one of mockery. "People tend to be vulnerable when they lose someone."
Naruto felt his throat tighten. What was this guy getting at?
"Men, too. Despite how strong they try to look."
"...So you come to pick up men? Is that really your reason why?"
The guy shrugged. "No."
"Then why did you tell me that?!" Naruto half-yelled, feeling on edge. He didn't like where this conversation was going. Plus, he wasn't able to learn anything.
"I wondered what your reaction would be like."
Exhaling sharply, Naruto stomped his foot. As much as he wanted to make him talk, he couldn't risk keeping him here any longer. If he really was some sort of maniac and something happened to other people who came to the funeral, the blame would be on Naruto. "Look, you're making me uncomfortable. Spill the beans or I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."
Then, there was silence. Only the sounds of chattering could be heard if you listened very carefully. Naruto looked at the guy straight in the eye. He wasn't expecting it, but the guy looked back. His dark, slightly hooded eyes were full of something Naruto couldn't quite put his finger on.
His father chose that moment to call out his name.
Naruto could feel his brows draw together, and he opened his mouth to say something, but at the last moment, he turned around and walked out of the room to see what his father wanted.
When he came back, the guy was gone. It was expected, he guessed, since he'd asked him to leave. He picked up the mop again, his gaze lingering on the spot where the other man had stood before he shook his head and tried to focus on cleaning the floor.
. . .
The phone was placed on a chair, and Naruto was bending over (and giving the corpse a healthy view of his ass) to choose a playlist on Spotify. His options were Fat Body, Smelly Body, Rotten Body and Hairy Body. Giving the dead guy a look over his shoulder, he decided he could go with the Hairy playlist. Of course, all playlists had been put together by him. The songs in them didn't vary much, maybe except for a few, but… he liked making new playlists anyway.
"Let's wash you, big guy," he grinned to himself. Nirvana's Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle' s first lyrics played.
He started lathering the body. It was all so surreal to him. He was just a mortician in a small town, he was nothing special. He washed the dead, buried them, and talked to their families. It was the circle of life; you were born, you lived, and you died, whether you had affected people's lives or not.
Naruto didn't want to live like a pebble on the ground, just watching and not contributing to the world. Having to clean human remains after death took them away as a job, he had thought rather often about life during his adolescence. There were so many questions in his head about life, some he thought were doomed to be left unanswered.
"Mmm," he hummed a section from the song. Perhaps his job in the world was washing bodies. The reason why he was born. Even rats and bugs had their reasons. Still, he was determined to at least make the best of living and enjoy himself.
If there were something else other than dying alone that scared him, it was dying unhappy. Being in his death bed and realizing that he had lived an unhappy life… He didn't want that. Life was cruel to everyone, and he'd come to terms with the fact that there was always going to be pain. He faced people suffering everyday - but at least he tried to make it easier for them, even if just tiny bit. That's how he found happiness for himself.
He briefly wondered what others thought about this. His dad had lived all his life in this town, and his grandfather too. Naruto's own friends seemed pretty happy with their lives, most of them were going to college, and a few hunting for jobs. What about the funeral-crasher? What were his motives? What did he expect from life?
The sudden silence in the room startled him. Whatever song had been playing had stopped. His soapy gloves dripped to the floor, and he sighed.
He realized his phone had died. There was a charger somewhere upstairs, maybe in the kitchen, but he wanted to finish his duty first. The yawns leaving his mouth every once in a while didn't help either. Why couldn't people wait until morning to die?
Minato had carried the TV upstairs the other day to distract a bunch of children, so watching TV was out of question too. He had his laptop, though.
"Gimme a minute, big guy," he said, removing the gloves and throwing them into the trash can. Leisurely, he made his way to the laptop on the table, scratching his right arm and trying to stifle an oncoming yawn.
He stretched his back as the laptop booted. He didn't have much work left, maybe 20 minutes or so. He guessed he could watch some sitcom. There was a notification saying he had a new e-mail, so he clicked that while thinking about his options.
"Porn?" He read out loud, his eyebrows raised in shock and amusement. They offered a 2-week premium membership for the ones who signed up before 12 a.m. that day.
They said free . Like what any other male would do, he clicked on it, the poor corpse long forgotten.
It took only a minute and a half to make an account. Before he knew, he was looking at a huge porn archive - the categories were so diverse that he almost choked on his spit. It would be a waste to not give it a try, right? So, he clicked on a random one. Only half a minute later he realized it was a two-hour-long compilation. His brain was being a little slow, so he blinked a few times in an attempt to wake up.
There were live streams going on, only for Premium members. He guessed it was good. He could close it whenever he wanted to, and the idea of the other person doing whatever they did the exact second Naruto saw them was somewhat thrilling.
He couldn't choose, though. The thumbnails all looked pretty much the same. Naked girls, naked guys, naked girls and guys. Searching eyes yearned for something different. He was feeling sort of quirky, and wanted to see something engrossing.
Like every good porn site, they had interesting stuff too. Naruto generally wasn't a kinky person, but he felt like he wanted to watch something unusual. There were bloodplay videos, BDSM (oh, the classics) and some other shit Naruto had no idea about. He knew about the concept of cross-dressing, so he recognized it when he saw one of the streams containing a pale, naked person. Checking on the viewing number, he hoped it would be good and opened it.
The guy was definitely nice to look at. He was wearing blue and gray striped thigh high socks. Naruto could see he had garters on, too. The skin of the exposed parts of his thighs were very pale, in contrast with the black surface beneath him. They looked smooth, like he could brush his hand against them and there would be no hair or dry patches of skin, though he knew cameras could make someone's skin have the illusion of being smooth.
The face wasn't shown, though he could only see the neck. Naruto's gaze wandered over the chest area, the flat stomach and the panties, which were halfway down his thighs. This was good.
Heaving a sigh, he decided he would watch this particular one and returned to washing the body after putting a new pair of gloves on.
The smell of soap filled the room. He'd intentionally dimmed the lights to create an eerie atmosphere as a joke while his father embalmed the body, but he'd forgotten to turn them back to their original state, and now it was just pure creepy with porn open and a dead body in the room.
"Mmm."
He tensed at hearing the quiet moan come from the speakers of his laptop. It was a throaty sound filled with pleasure. He tore his gaze from the body to give the screen a look.
And… wow. The person definitely seemed to be enjoying himself with that dildo.
As if hypnotized, he kept looking at it. His hands were moving, but he wasn't really sure what he was doing. He barely realized he'd moved to washing the legs while he watched hands roam over a pale chest, pinching a nipple before caressing their way down and wrapping around a fully erected cock. The black, lubed up toy was moving in and out of his glistening hole.
Naruto was… kind of... aroused.
He swallowed. Trying to block out the sounds, he removed the cloth covering the dead body's private parts.
Now, this was awkward. The guy had an erection too - which was something Naruto had seen before. It was something about the blood pooling down and swelling the penis…? Naruto hadn't listened very carefully when his dad had explained it in a scientific way. He knew it could happen, and that was it. But the timing for this guy to pop a chub couldn't be any weirder.
He grabbed a string and tied the swollen organ to a leg, securing the knot, then quickly washing him and starting to put his clothing on without even waiting for him to dry.
The panting noises were making Naruto flush. He checked the certificate again. This person had asked to be cremated, and Naruto had to drive him all the way to the crematorium at this ungodly hour. But first, he needed to take care of the rapidly growing problem in his pants.
He should've guessed this would happen. It was simple male physiology. Without a doubt, he would get hard if he heard a delicious moan filled with sin and pleasure, made by a man with a stupidly sexy body. He kinda wanted to see his face too. But if he didn't want his face to be shown, there wasn't much he could do.
He washed his hands and grabbed his laptop, unplugging it and carrying it upstairs in a hurry. He was glad his dad had left right after finishing his job. The door was crack open, and Naruto pushed it all the way with his right foot.
The bathroom was small, but it would do. He didn't want to waste time with willing his erection to die when it was almost fully hard. Just jerking off would be a lot quicker.
He placed the laptop on the toilet lid, then unbuckled his belt and almost tore away the zipper before pulling his jeans down. The pressure was partially gone - then the guy started moaning again, and Naruto had to look, and God, was he leaking in a funeral house bathroom?
A hand found its way into Naruto's cotton briefs. He was so sensitive at this point, and even the slightest of touches were enough to leave him leaning against the wall and panting hard. He masturbated almost every day, so it definitely hadn't been that long. Why was he reacting this way?
Reaching out, he repositioned the laptop with his clean hand so he could see it better. The lower part of the guy's chin was visible now. Naruto looked down at his own swollen cock. His hand started pumping, fast and rough. He didn't think he could last much longer anyway.
If he wasn't mistaken, the guy's camera moved a bit. From what Naruto could see, he was on a bed and the camera was too, so he probably had a laptop. Was he aware of how his face was slowly being revealed?
From the teasing smirk on his lips, Naruto would guess yes. He was very much aware.
He changed his position so he was now riding the dildo. The hand on his cock gave a slow stroke, then gradually sped up, and by the time Naruto matched his pace, they were both out of breath.
With a muffled cry, Naruto reached his climax.
The guy followed him. Unlike Naruto, he had the opportunity to lay down and enjoy his post-orgasmic state. Naruto, on the other hand, quickly washed his hands and tucked himself away while trying hard not to curse at how pathetic this whole thing was.
When he was finally ready to close the live stream, he reached for the touchpad… and froze.
The guy's face was fully revealed now. With a completely flushed expression, hazy smile and slightly narrowed eyes, the infamous funeral-crasher looked straight into the camera.