A/N: First off, this is for Constalina; she requested it over on the FE forums. Second off, I never imagined I would write anything centering on Valtome. O_o
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Sitting upon his throne made of pure silver, Valtome scowled at his feeble excuse of an army.
"Why!? Why is it that EVERY time I order you pieces of pride-less, weak, and filthy soldiers to take down the Laguz army, YOU. FAIL!?"
The soldiers winced at the sudden burst of rage, but continued listening to his complaints.
"Sir… The army is much stronger than-"
"I don't give a DAMN how strong they are, I want them cruuuuushhhed." Valtome squeezed his grip on his glass of wine, the fancy piece of glassware looked like it were on the brink of cracking from his powerful grasp.
"Y-yes sir…"
Valtome smirked, watching the image of Ike and his sub-human companions burn in the black mass of death from his own magic. Then his thoughts were so rudely broken.
Bzzt! A small horsefly began to swarm the Begnion senator.
Valtome swatted his hand, shooing away the pesky insect tat dare enter his presence
BZZT!
"CURSE YOU!" Valtome yelled; firing a blast of magic at the fly, which missed and blew a hole in the side of the castle wall, burning through three other rooms in the process.
"Someone, I demand you bring death upon that filthy insect, NOW!"
One of the soldiers said something he probably should not have. "But sir, it's just a fly."
That soldier never saw his wife and children again, after he was completely obliterated by Valtome's worm tome.
"I said I want it dead, that's an order!"
This time most of the Begnion soldiers scurried around waving their lances around the room, breaking various wall ornaments and priceless vases.
Valtome watched in amusement, it wasn't his castle anyway, the apostle wouldn't mind if he re-decorated.
After a while, Valtome noticed the soldiers chase the putrid insect outside.
"The fly is gone, sir."
Valtome threw his wine glass at the soldier, somehow killing him.
"I SAID I WANTED IT DEAD, YOU FOOLS!"
The remaining soldiers all ran outside, struggling to fit out the door all at once.
"But sir, there are many more flies out he-"
"Then kill them all! Kill every last one, and while you're out there, kill the Laguz army!"
With that, they all ran outside, swinging swords, axes, and lances at what looked like thin air from afar.
Soon what used to be a large clearing on the outskirts of Begnion filled with tents and camps; was demolished down to pile of ripped fabrics, injured cavalry, and broken fences.
An hour later, Valtome left the castle to see how things were doing. He was shocked by the result.
"W-what happened to the camp!?" He cried. "You fools were ordered to kill the fly! Not all of our supplies and rations…"
He noted how most of the soldiers had actually injured themselves, how; he didn't know.
"… Why am I darned to live this life of grief?" Valtome sighed to himself, pouring a new glass of wine. When things get tough, the best thing to do; is just get drunk.
-x-
Ike led his group of nearly fearless soldiers (Who were mostly normal, everyday people) into Begnion valiantly.
Sothe and Tormod walked together near the back of the group.
"Jeez, is it just me, or is there an over-abundance of flies here?" Sothe moaned, swiftly slicing a third of the insects in half, in midair.
"I know, man." Tormod agreed, flicking his finger and emitting a small flame to hit a fly, which combusted into ashes on contact.
Suddenly, the army stopped atop a hill overlooking Begnion's camp.
Ike looked back at his group. "Um… I guess we won."
Everyone looked skeptical.
"Why? What's going on?" Mist asked.
The group looked beyond the hill to find the camp in ruins, horses were running everywhere, soldiers were lying on the ground, and tents were ripped to shreds.
"Woo-hoo! We should thank whoever it was that took them out!" Tormod exclaimed.
"Whoever it was…" Ike said, scratching the back of his neck.
No one would ever know.
A/N: Ah, it sucks, I know. Please review anyway!