Author's Note: This is my first fic and am extremely nervous about it. its not beta'd so my apologies for all spelling and grammatical errors. Am just trying my hand at writing, so there's no specific style that I followed. Am not a medical student or a doctor, so if I say use the wrong term/s just go with the flow. It's for the sake of the story.

This is a Mark/Lexie story (cause they were my favorite couple on the show, and this is the only way I'll continue to enjoy them) but it will also include other characters mainly Derek/Meredith. There will be a lot of DARK and TWISTY, OOC behavior and some mature themes. The story does not follow any specific timelines that are related to the series. Although there may be other time and story lines that I might pick and alter as the plot develops. If I portray anyone's favorite character in a bad way, its just the role that they have in this story do not take offence. I sincerely hope you will enjoy the story and encourage me to continue with constructive criticism.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the Grey's Anatomy. Though I do own Hope.

LPOV:

For the longest time in my life it has just been me by myself, no father, no mother, no brother or sister. It was just me, myself and I. And I was good with that and I learnt at a very early age how to take care of myself, protect and provide for myself. Never to expect anything from anyone, that way I would never have any disappointments and that worked well for the longest time. I realized that if I wanted to be someone I had to work hard at it and I had to fight that hardest regardless. And through it all I had to keep the constants, constant.

For many constants are their family, friends, children, spouses or careers, but for me that wasn't the case. For me it was my education, school was and still is my lifeline. When all else has failed I know that academics will always be mine and no one can take that away from me.

But life has always had a way of throwing curve balls at me and that has not stopped since I was five. But this one I don't even know how am going to get through this one and still come out on the other side.

I could see Dr Bailey's mouth move but I couldn't make out what she was saying "Lexie am sorry the results of the tests that we ran indicate that Hope as Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML). I recommend that we do a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy to make sure that we have diagnosed her properly and when the results of the biopsy come back I would like do an X-ray , MRI and ultrasound to make sure that the cancer hasn't spread to other organs."

Seriously when had my life become this complicated, at five years all I had to worry about was if I was going to live to see that the next day. And today I worry not only about myself but also about Hope. I like to believe that she is my gift from life from the good that I did in my past life.

"I don't understand Dr Bailey? How could it be possible I mean she only eight for godsake. How?" Am a doctor I know what AML is but what I don;t get is how she could have such a terrible disease, she hasn't done anything wrong in her life except live and be and child. The world is a cruel place I get that, but this kind cruelty was not necessary.

"I don't know Lexie and I wish I had a better answer than that but I don't have. And I wont pretend to know what you must be going through right now because honest to God I don't, but I promise you that I'll do everything I can to help you and Hope. Am going to be her primary physician and I'll make sure that she get the best possible care there is to offer. As a mother myself, I know what it is to feel helpless even when you have so much medical knowledge of what is going on. But Lexie you need to be strong right now, and prepare to fight that hardest for Hope and yourself." Lexie looked at Dr Bailey and knew she was right but I needed time to let it all sink, but that was time I didn't have.

"Okay Dr Bailey tell me what we need to do and am with you, I know that this might seem impulsive on my part and as much as I would want to throw myself a pity party I cant do that right now, so you are Hope's doctor how do we proceed."

Dr Bailey could see that it had taken a lot in Lexie to just jump in and want to get right into treating Hope. "Like I said before we need to do a biopsy so that we are sure and then the X-rays MRI and the ultrasound to ensure that the cancer has spread to other parts of her organs. After we get the results I'll get in touch with Dr Sweender she's the Head of Oncology and we will discuss the best course of treatment . Okay?". All I could do was nod as she let the information sink in.

"And there is one other thing Lexie you can not be on this case and I know that you want to be so that you make sure that everything is the best but you can't. Beside the medical/hospital policy that you can't treat family I think it will be best for your sanity". I wanted to argue with her but the look on Dr Bailey's face just said it all and I agreed with her.

"It's a good that we agree on something its a good start, now if you'll excuse am going to get the paper work ready for the biopsy and I'll send someone to bring Hope up. In the mean time go be with her am sure she's scare out of her mind about whats going on". With that said Dr Bailey made her way to radiology to get things ready for Hope and I made her way to Hope's room.

I have always been honest with Hope regardless and I knew if Hope was going to get through this I will have to honest and open about everything that's how our relationship works. As I entered the room I noticed that Hope was reading, it was our thing, we both loved to read and I loved that Hope had also found a lifeline in academics even at the tender age of eight.

"Hey girlie what are you reading now?". I tried to say that in the most cheery voice I could master but anyone could still tell that there was something off and that didn't go unnoticed by Hope. "The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. I got it from the library yesterday but I had a lot of homework to do so I didn't get a chance to start on it until now."

"Oh and how's it treating you so far?".

"Not that bad considering am back in this hospital for the second time in two weeks . So give it to me what's wrong with this time?". I looked at the little girl that I loved more than anything in the whole world and could not for the life of me believe she had AML. It somehow felt like a cruel joke. I had to fight back the tears that were threatening to come out. I knew that it was now that I had to explain to this innocent seven year old that she had a very rare form of cancer and how bad it was.

Medical school had prepared me for a lot of this, but never in all the years that I spent in school was I taught and prepared on how to tell your child that she has cancer and that she could die.

Just as I was about to answer Dr Bailey entered the room with her first year residents in tow. I had to resist that urge to grown at the residents presents. Its not like Hope was a secret or anything that I was ashamed of, its just the reception I received from them when I first started my internship and the treatment that I have had to endure throughout my time at the hospital that made me really dislike them.

"Hey Dr B you are back?". Hope asked when she spotted her favorite doctor come into the room.

"You bet your cute little self that am back, has Lexie told you whats going on?".

"No she was just about to explain when you graced us with your presence. I think she's stalling cause when she came in she asked about the book am reading, which is funny because she saw me pull it out before the two of you left earlier. So Lex bring it on". Dr Bailey couldn't help but chuckle at the little girl that had so much life in her yet so little.

I rolled her eyes at Hope's comment I couldn't fault her that's how we have always related to each other. "Okay smart mouth you girlie have Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. Dr Bailey is going to run some test to make sure that's what you have and also to see if has spread to your other organs. When the results come back she is going to discuss the results with the". Hope cut me off before she could continue.

"Okay Lex you lost me at acute, I know you and I like to do the whole big word thing, but I don't think that it's working right now. So why don't we go over this one more time but this time let try doing it slow, with simple English and we can go on from there. Sound good". Everyone in the room was laughing and my face turned red, but I also laughed at what Hope said. Sometimes I couldn't tell who was older Hope or myself.

"Sorry kiddo, am kinda nervous and scared, so for a minute there I forgot who I was talking to. So in lame-man's English you miss-thang have cancer and I know that you know what that means. Dr Bailey is going to run a few more tests one of them is to make sure that it is the type of cancer that we think it is and the other tests are to ensure that it has not spread to your other organs."

Hope looked at Lexie and then back to Dr Bailey as she tried to understand what was going on in her body . She knew what cancer was , she remembers Lexie reading My Sister's Keeper and then renting the movie for them to watch. After they watched the movie Lexie had explained to Hope what cancer was and how they were different types of cancer.

"So let me get this straight, I have cancer right" Dr Bailey nodded her head in affirmation. "Okay then, so what type of cancer do you think I have? I know you said you are going to do more tests but I just want to know what you know right now". I knew Hope was practical person she understood things better when they were explained to her.

"The cancer you have affects your bone marrow, its curable with chemotherapy or radiation. And if that does not work you will have to have a bone marrow transplant . I know it might be a lot to take in and I understand, because I don't understand any of it myself. I love you and I'll do everything humanly possible to make sure that you are okay. I promise". There was a slight tremor in Lexie's voice and Hope knew that she was about to cry. Hope took her hand and started making small circles at the back of her hand in an effort to comfort her "Hey Lex its all going to be okay I know that and you have to believe that too. That's what you always say to me so its going to be okay, remember my name is Hope and there is a reason for that."

I couldn't love Hope anymore than I did in the that moment, to everyone else it didn't make sense why Hope was the one comforting me instead of the other way round . But for us that's how it worked we seemed to know when to be strong for the other. And right now Hope knew she had to be there for me because I was going to be there for her when she needed me.

Dr Bailey took that has her cue and order Alex and George to bring Hope to radiology. She also instructed Lexie to find something to do so as to keep her mind off things or contact her family and let them know what was going on. At the mention of family Lexie tensed and Hope looked at her knowing that there was no family to contact.

I looked at Hope and smiled at her and then turned to reply "Don't worry Dr Bailey our family already knows". Dr Bailey could sense that something was off but chose to say anything further.

While Hope was having the tests done I decided to finish off the charting I was doing before she got a call from Hopes' school. I was sitting at the nurses station trying to keep myself busy when I felt someone staring at me, I lift her head and met Meredith gaze on me. I didn't like getting into it with Meredith not that there was anything to get into, but I couldn't shake the feeling that nothing good was going to come from this interaction. Nothing ever did anywhere.

I looked at her "Is there anything I can help you with Dr Grey?". Meredith just kept staring and said nothing, but eventually noticed that I had caught her staring. She said nothing, turned and walked away. I just shook my head and went back to charting and I started muttering to myself how thing around the hospital kept getting weird by the day. I was so deeply engrossed in what I was doing that didn't notice when Dr Sloan came to that nurses station but I felt his presence.

"If I didn't know any better I would say that you are on the wrong floor the psych ward is three floors from here". I lifted her head to see Dr Sloan standing there in all his glory, I didn't know why but there was something about this man that was so in-tune with me. More often than I should care to acknowledge, I found myself gravitating towards him.

"Uhm, were you saying something to me?" I asked as I tried my hardest not to blush.

"I said the psych ward is three floors from here if you are that into talking to yourself. I think you can do that freely over there. Anywhere can you run these to the lab for me and get me suture and IV kit from the supply closet. If that isn't much to ask for you since its your job as an intern. I'll be in room 412". I couldn't for the life of me believe how rude and obnoxious the residents and attendings' were at the this hospital. Was it really that hard to say please or to be at least polite, I understood that am an intern but that didn't make me any less of a human. With that thought in mind I went and did what Dr Sloan had asked me to do.

After grabbing the IV and suture kit I made my way to room 412.

"Dr Sloan the kits you asked for and the lab said the results will be ready in an hour. Is there anything else I can assist you with". I spoke to him in the most polite voice I could master in front of the patient, but I guess Dr Sloan could hear the slight disdain and irritation in my voice.

He turned to face me as if he was going to say something but saw the look on indifference that I had, and I guess he chose not to say any thing. "That will be all Dr Grey for now, just page me when you get the results from the lab". Mark turned his attention back to his patient and I left the room.

I couldn't figure out what it was about the attending that got me flustered every time we were in the same proximity. I told myself I had by far more important things to worry about other than my misguided fascination with Dr Sloan.

An hour later I got a page from the lab to collect the results. As I was on my way there Dr Bailey paged me and I knew it was about Hope's results. As much as I wanted to know about Hope's results I knew that if I wanted to stay out of trouble I had to give Dr Sloan the lab results first and then go back to dealing with my personal issues.

I quickly made my way to the lab and got the results, then asked one of the nurses to page Dr Sloan and let him know that the results that he was waiting on from the lab were back and he could get them at the nurses station. After that I went to look for Dr Bailey, to say I was anxious is an understatement. I had a feeling of what the results were going to say but having it confirmed out loud made the whole situation real.

"Dr Bailey you paged?."

"Oh Lexie the person am looking for I was about to send a search and rescue team after you." She said in a teasing tone I could tell that she was trying to lighten up the tension but it was there. "Sorry about that I got your page, but I had to collect some results from the labs from Dr Sloan. So tell me what it is that you found and where do we go from here." I didn't want to waste time dancing around the situation and I guess she knew it too.

"Okay the biopsy confirmed that Hope does have AML, her MRI,ultra sound and X-rays came back clean which is good because we both know that the cancer has not spread to her other organs. I know its a lot to take in and all of this is really scary for you, but like I said that I'll do everything humanly possible to help you out. That being said you have to prepare yourself for all the possibilities that come with having a child with cancer. There will be days when it all seems to fail and all you want to do is quit but don't stop believing in the medicine and in Hope. I can tell that she is strong and she does look like a fighter. Believing is half the battle and the other half is up to God and the powers that be."

Just has Dr Bailey finished giving the little pep talk Dr Sweender from Oncology entered the room.

"Dr Grey am Dr Sweender Head of Oncology, am sorry we had to meet like this wish it were under better circumstances. Dr Bailey just bought me up to speed with Hope's results and from the biopsy results I think our best course of treatment is Chemo and Radiation for now, but if she doesn't respond she will need an allograft. Am going to put her on the transplant list now so that we are prepared when the time comes, but I hope it won't come to that. Hope's cancer is very aggressive and if not treated immediately it will spread fast, so that being said I say that we start her chemo ASAP, maybe the day after tomorrow. If you agree I'll get start preparing her treatment plan."

I couldn't think straight let alone breath, I felt as if the walls in the room were closing up on me and I didn't have a way to escape. My body just went into auto-pilot and I took the Hope's file out of Dr Sweender's hand and signed the forms that I needed to sign and told her that I'll go along with whatever she will plan all I wanted to to help Hope heal and fight the cancer. I needed to breath and I needed space to think and just to let all of this sink in before I went and explained things to Hope. I gave back the file and asked to be excused.

There was only one place in the hospital that I found peace and quiet, as morbid as it sounds it was the morgue. It was the most peaceful place in the hospital, the dead did not find the incessant need to put in their two cents in whatever I was dealing with. They would just lie there and listen and right now that is what I wanted I didn't need anyone telling me that it was going to be okay or that I was strong and could do it. All I wanted was to vent and who best to take out the frustrations of my world than the dead. Tim the coroner knew me and when he saw me enter the morgue he just nodded his head and left me there.

"Okay am back, some of you know me by now and some of you are new at this. Well am Lexie and today I have a very different problem that I need you guys to listen. So many of you know Hope, well the sun in my life has cancer and its the aggressive kind. The doctors have told me that they will do everything to help her. The doctor in me believes that they will be able to help her, but the all intents and purposes parent in me does not want to believe that she does have cancer and knowing what is ahead of her its killing me.

Since the day she came into my life all I have wanted to do was to protect her from all the bad that is in this world. I wish I could bare this for her but I can't, she's all I have in this life and if I lose her I don't think I'll able to go on. For as long as I can remember it's just been me and then out of no where I had Hope. She has been the sun in my world, as cold and dark as the world is to me with her the darkness and cold just disappears and its all replaced by light and warmth.

Its funny how the little things in our lives matter the most, you know the smiles, the odd 'please, thank you or sorry',the pout or the beautiful sound of laughter. When Hope came to my life I vowed that I would never take those small gestures for granted and to think that I may never get to experience those things again it hurts."

While Lexie was busy talking to the dead, little did she know that Mark was there listening. He didn't mean to eavesdrop but he had come to the morgue to ask Tim something when he heard someone talking.

"Do you do this lot?". He asked as he gestured towards the black body bags that were on the examination tables. I turned her head to see who it was. When I saw that it was Dr Sloan I felt embarrassed and angry at the same time.

"How long have you been standing there and how much of my conversation did you hear?". I couldn't believe that he was there and had heard me rant about my fears to a bunch of dead corpses.

"Long enough to hear things that I know that am not supposed to know. Am sorry I didn't know that you were here, I was looking for Tim. I didn't mean to eavesdrop." Mark started to walk towards where she was sitting and seat next to her. He didn't know why but he suddenly had a strong urge to be close to her and he wanted to pull her into a hug. Something that he has never done before.

"I know its none of my business but who is Hope?". Mark had heard that one the interns had a child but didn't know which one since he wasn't so invested in the hospital's rumor mill. I turned my head to face him, I saw the curiosity and concern in his eyes and didn't understand why he was interested in me of all the people in the hospital. I knew that he disliked interns and made no secret about it, but now he was appearing to be human and actually being concerned in someone else who wasn't a patient. I felt to tired and exhausted to argue with him so I decided to just let it go.

"Well Hope is my daughter for intents and purposes." My voice was small and there was a slight tremor in it as if I was going to cry. "Oh, so I take it from the conversation you were having with the dead that there is something wrong with her?". There was a genuine concern in his voice and I could not believe it. "You don't have you tell me anything, like I said that its none of my business and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to". Mark made a move to leave, but I just needed to talk and if he was willing to listen then by all means I was going to talk. The dead might be good listeners but having someone respond wouldn't be such a bad thing.

"Hope has not been feeling well the last couple of months, she's eight. She has been constantly complaining that she is tired, fevers, night sweats and pain in her joints. The doctor in me I guess felt that there was something was wrong, but the parent in me over took the doctor and I figured it was because of the move and that she was just being a child. Now I think about it I guess I was just in denial you know. No parent wants to hear that their child is sick. Last week her fever was really high and I bought her to get checked and Dr Bailey said it might be an infection , so she gave her antibiotics and we went home. She took the antibiotics and the fever broke, but then today I got a call from her school saying that she fainted in class and she had a bruise on her arm.

I picked her up and asked where she got the bruise and said that in the morning she bumped her hand on the door as she went into class, but the bruise was so big and really purple. As if she had been badly hurt. I bought in so that Dr Bailey could have a look at it and try and see what caused her to faint. I could have taken her to her pediatrician but I felt that there was more to the bruise and the fainting spell. Dr Bailey ran her blood work first and it showed that Hope has AML, so that she was sure she did a bone aspiration and biopsy. Then she did an MRI, ultra-sound and took some X-rays to make sure that it hasn't spread to her organs". I turned to look at Mark who looked as white as a ghost. I had to nudge him to make sure that he was okay

"Hey are you okay?, I didn't mean to off load on you am sorry". I nudged him again and this time he responded.

"Sorry I didn't mean to zone out on you, uhm... wow ….I don't know what to say". Mark ran his hair he had never been good at giving advice. According to Mark this was Derek area expertise, he would know what to say. Lexie could feel how uncomfortable he was about what she had just said, so she decided to say something "Hey you don't have to say anything, that why I came in here. The dead don't talk back they just listen and they don't dish out advise. Which means I can make up my mind objectively and if it turns out to be a bad decision I don't have anyone to blame except for myself". She hoped that would ease the tension that seem to building in him.

The doctor in Mark took over and asked"Whats the prognosis and treatment options that are there for her?". Lexie knew what he was asking and saying it out loud made it even more real than she wanted it to be but there was no turning back she had opted to open up to make so she had to be honest with him. "Dr Sweender the Head of Oncology is on her case and she said that the prognosis is good seeing that we detected the cancer early. They are going to start chemo the day after tomorrow and if chemo doesn't do much for her then they will try radiation. Worst case scenario is an allograft, so they are going to put her on the transplant list so that if the time comes we won't be caught off guard. Well I hope the chemo works and that she doesn't need the allograft. I have to go a tell Hope whats happening you know with the cancer and treatment. Thank you for listening you didn't have to but you did so thank you."

Lexie stood up and made her turn to leave as she reached the door Mark spoke up "Am not good at this talking thing and half the time I turn to say the wrong things, so I avoid situations in which I have to. But am good at listening, am like the dead only the only difference between us is I make sounds, so if you ever need anyone alive to talk to am willing to listen. I hope everything works out well for you and Hope, Bailey is a good doctor so I can safely say that you are in more than capable hands. I don't know about Dr Sweender but if she's the head of the department then am guessing she's good at her job. And I meant what I said when I said if you need someone to listen am here".

Lexie gave him a polite smile and thanked him once again before leaving. After Lexie left Mark just sat there not knowing what to make of the conversation he had just had with Lexie. He didn't know much about her except that she's Merediths' half sister ,that she didn't know and didn't have the desire to know.

Mark mauled over their conversation and realized that he hadn't picked up on Lexie's relationship with Hope when she referred to her as a 'daughter for all intents and purposes'. She did look young to have a daughter that old, but in todays' society there is no young or old so anything was possible. The more he thought about everything the more curious he became, to some degree he was fascinated by her. Who talks to dead people as if they were alive and she didn't show any indication of being slightly disturbed by the fact that she was in a morgue.

Mark decided he wasn't going to read much into his conversation with Lexie, so he set out to find Tim which was the reason he had come to the morgue.

Meanwhile Lexie made her way to Hope's room to explain to her what was going on. When she got there she found Hope asleep and didn't have the heart to wake her so she decided to just sit and wait for to wake up. Lexie decided to savor the moment because it were times like these when Hope slept that she had a peaceful expression on her face. Just looking at her sleeping form Lexie knew she would everything to keep that expression on her face.

She ran hand through her hair and whispered lowly "Sleep well my sun, when you wake up your world is going to be different".

A/N: Thank you for reading, Please Review ( am also open to thoughts on how you want the characters and story lines to develop within reason), if I get 5-10 reviews I promise to upload Chapter 2 with a sneak peek of Chapter 3 in the next 72hrs.