As people might have noticed, a group of 5 of us came together to do a communal writing prompt for the end of Season 4. The prompt was essentially "Sabine and Ezra have revealed their feelings for each other but haven't gone much further". From there, we had free reign on when this story takes place in relation to the timeline, their reveal of their feelings, the location, the reasons for everything, length of the story and just about any other aspect of it on the one condition that they share their first kiss in it and that we dropped in a prequel meme somewhere. Everything I've written has been Sabine/Ezra focused so it was naturally something I enjoyed trying out.
As mentioned, 4 other writers have also taken up something for the 'First Kiss' prompt and have all brought their unique takes on this scenario as well, so be sure to check these out:
ddaulton94 - First Kiss: Plans
RagnarDanneskjold - First Kiss: Open Horizon
SweetSinger2010 - First Kiss: Something Just Like This
TheYellowLantern - First Kiss: Calm After Chaos
I was going to ramble and rave here about each one of these, but I wouldn't be able to do them justice. Go give them all a read, they're more than worth it. We're all uploading at the same time so they'll all be grouped together and easy to find anyway.
I'll give a quick shout out to our whole little 'Cult of Sabezra/Ezrabine', writer or no. You guys continue to be some of the most enjoyable, laid back and weirdly-obsessed people I've had the pleasure of interacting with. Please, don't ever change.
Anyways, this one was my take on it and is set, presumably, sometime between A Fool's Hope and Family Reunion And Farewell. Note that both episodes have not aired as I'm writing this, so I apologise for any inaccuracies and I'll try to keep the focus on stuff that could realistically happen. The rundown is basically that the battle in the mountains is over and the gang is about to head to the final confrontation at the Capital. Sabine and Ezra are having a much-needed talk about their recently acquired relationship before everything goes down in a battle they realise they might not win.
The events of the last few days were a swirling mess that he'd be unpacking and reliving in his mind for the rest of this life. Looking back, he couldn't believe how foolish he'd been to be so happy to come back to Lothal. Standing in that briefing room overjoyed at the thought of returning home, he'd been so ignorant and so naive. To think he'd ride down with the crew, blast some Imperials, blow a factory or two then live happily ever after. Ascending the rock path to the mountain cave where the rebels had made their base, that time seemed a lifetime away.
Not a second went by when he didn't think of Kanan. The loving master so much wiser than he who'd thrown down his life for the people he loved most and a planet that wasn't even his to save. For someone who never completed his training, someone who broke every Jedi rule of attachment and had, at times, been just a bit too unorthodox to have lined up with the Code, Kanan Jarrus was absolutely the model of everything a Jedi should strive to be. It wasn't a legacy Ezra was going to forget. One specific part of that legacy seemed to have reared its head earlier that day. As the Empire mounted on the horizon, massing their forces for a strike against the ragtag group of rebels huddled in the mountains, someone had taken Kanan's lessons on attachments to heart. But that person wasn't Ezra.
As the rebels marshalled their strength and checked their weapons for the fight against overwhelming odds, Sabine had pulled him aside for just a few moments. It only took a minute or two but it was all they needed. In the span of thirty seconds they'd taken the leap from just friends to something more. Ezra had kept his feelings for her close to his heart for years and had begun to accept they might never be reciprocated. Yet, nestled in a crook in the mountains a few metres from a hastily built fortification, years of longing had given way for them to say what they'd needed to for so long. It had been a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
That was a few hours ago now and the Empire had, against all odds, been repelled. More than a few rebels had given their life to do so; Wolffe, Mart, and Jai Kell to name a few. The battle though was just beginning. Everyone knew their mission on Lothal hinged on the situation in the Capital City. It was now or never if they were to ever have a chance of freeing his homeworld. The others had been preparing for a while, packing speeders and checking munitions for the tough slog ahead. After an hour or so, Ezra had noticed Sabine making herself conspicuously absent, walking off alone to the cave above where they'd centred their operations these last few weeks. Ezra had waited a while, letting her have her own time, but as preparations wrapped up he decided now would be the time to go and see her. Leaving Zeb and Rex to finish accounting for their blasters, Ezra ascended the winding stone path to the cave that his now girlfriend had taken a while prior.
He found her watching out over the plains and the meandering river that cut through it. A vibrant orange hue covered it all, but Ezra couldn't tell how much came from the sunset alone and how much was the reflection of the planet-wide fires that were burning his home away. Ezra told himself it was all the former though not fully believing it, as he approached Sabine from behind.
"Hey, we're going to be leaving soon. You might want to get yourself ready", Ezra called as he stood beside her to share the view.
"I'm ready whenever. I just wanted some time first." Sabine sighed, she was under no illusions about their chances despite their lucky victory earlier that day.
Ezra watched her from the corner of his eye as she stood motionless by the edge of the mountain. The smile she so often wore wasn't there anymore, in fact he'd only seen it on a handful of occasions these last few weeks. It hurt him to know how much this weighed down on her, how much it weighed down on all of them. They were all still grieving for those they'd already lost, let alone preparing for those they were likely to still lose.
The Jedi cleared his throat, he hadn't come up just to make idle conversation, "I- I think we need to talk."
Still Sabine didn't look over to him but Ezra felt her shift her attention to him, "Earlier wasn't the best time, I know." Her head dropped slightly and she let out a sigh, "But I meant every word, Ezra."
Her confirmation wasn't needed, Ezra never had any doubts about how genuine she was being. Even at the time, the trembling behind her voice when she said it ended any chance of doubting how truthful she was being. Ezra faced her fully, hoping to draw her attention to him, "I meant it too. I do love you, I have for more than a while."
The Mandalorian did get his message, albeit hesitantly, and turned to face him directly, "I know you did. I guess part of me already knew."
Ezra stifled a laugh, "Yeah, I wasn't always subtle was I?" Memories of years gone by flooded back, of shameless flirting and constant attempts to impress her. Clearly, not consciously trying it had worked for the best, impressing her not with compliments but with compassion, understanding and unending loyalty - all of which Sabine had reliably returned to him as well. The young Jedi loosened himself a bit as he looked at her, "I have to ask, out of curiosity. How long have you... you know? How long have you loved me for?"
The Mandalorian let her eyes drift away from him, she was still new to this and couldn't find it in her to meet his gaze just yet, "A few months I guess, close to a year. Maybe a full year, I didn't really keep track" she answered in a quiet voice.
Ezra almost couldn't believe it. How had he missed it for that long? With the amount of time they'd spent together these last few months, it perplexed him how he'd not noticed this shift in the girl who had become his closest friend. Sure, he'd noticed her be friendlier to him and he'd increasingly noticed that even in downtime Sabine always tired to be close by, though honestly he'd always try to be close to her too. Had he really been so blind as to not have noticed the woman he'd loved for years and spent so much time with had finally started to feel the same way?
Ezra brought his hand up to his head and ran it through his short black hair, continuing to focus on Sabine. "I never knew. I don't how I wouldn't have noticed that", he uttered.
"It's my fault, I always tired to hide it. I wasn't always sure you still felt the same." Sabine shrugged her shoulders, "Once or twice I felt I might have let it slip, but you never picked up on it." Sabine breathed a small chuckle but there was sadness behind it, "I guess I'm not the most open of girls, huh?"
Her eyes found his way to his at last and a heartfelt smile formed on her lips. Without needing to say a word, Ezra lifted his arms from his side and drew her in for a loving hug. She was more than happy to share one again, burying her face contently into his chest.
Ezra let out a half laugh as he hugged her, "It's almost funny. I've been trying to get your attention for four years and I get it right before the end."
Sabine strained a smile into his shirt without looking up at him, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to be like this, I just thought we'd have more time."
The Jedi had to shake his head in protest, "You don't have to be sorry. Neither of us knew what would happen."
"I just... I just couldn't have died or..." Sabine muttered in a strained tone and clearly having difficult saying what she had to, "I couldn't have lost you, not without telling you how much you mean to me. You deserve to know."
Silence reigned for a while, leaving them hold each other for a few moments of peace before their worlds crashed down under the might of the Empire. There was a finality about the upcoming battle that neither of them could quite explain. Everyone coming together for one final push, it screamed an end to their journey in a way none of their other adventures had. Things wouldn't be the same after the battle for any of them. To be fair, they'd never be the same without Kanan anyway. After this, if they even did survive, they knew the old life was over and something new, for better or worse, was beginning.
Absentmindedly, Ezra started to let his hands rub against her back soothingly. "So what happens now?", he asked, though she doubted she had the answer any more than he did.
"We fight, like we always do." The girl's voice had regained some hints of its usual strength, but underneath Ezra could tell this was as hard for her as it was for him.
"You know there's a good chance we might not all make it out of this?"
He felt her cling to him just a little tighter, "I know."
Another sigh escaped him. It was almost all for nought anyway. Ezra knew even if the battle for Lothal was won, Ahsoka was still out there. What happened in the Temple signalled the beginning of something completely different, something he had to deal with even if it meant turning away from the places, people and woman he loved.
"Sabine, I don't know what will happen even if we do make it through this. After it all, I mean."
Sabine leaned out of the hug and Ezra noticed a tear running down her cheek, "You'll do what you have to, I understand that. You're a Jedi, if Ahsoka is out there you have to do what you can to save her and stop the Emperor."
Ezra forced a joking smile, "I know... it doesn't make it easier."
She almost smiled back to him, "You know I'd love you to stay. Do you have any idea how much I'd like to just drag you away after all this and keep you to myself?" Sabine's sense of humour shone through even past her pained smile, "But it's not what Kanan would want you to do... It's not what I want you to do."
It hurt but it was true. Ezra couldn't walk away from this no matter how hard it was or how long it took. The galaxy and the Jedi mattered more than their feelings and they had to put them aside. "I don't know how long I'll be. I don't even know if I'll ever come back. I could die out ther-"
Sabine shook her head into his shoulder and cut him off, "Don't talk like that."
Ezra just sighed, "You know it's true."
The silence was his answer again. Ezra was scared he might have pushed it too far, too pessimistic. It was a while before Sabine answered him, "I know it's true, okay? Just promise me if you ever get the chance, in a week or a year or a decade or whenever, you'll try and come back."
"If I can, if I ever come back, I'll find you. I promise." Ezra felt tears coming again, it was a promise he'd try to keep as long as he lived but part of him knew it wasn't all that likely he'd get the chance to fulfil it.
"I promise I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes", Sabine declared softly.
Ezra couldn't help but smile at how committed she was, "Sabine I can't ask you to do that. You can't throw your life aw-"
"You can't stop me. You know I'm stubborn enough to do it", Sabine smirked at him as she said it, cutting off any further protest from him.
The Jedi nodded at her, "You know I'll wait for you too, however long it takes before I come back."
The Mandalorian smiled a bit, "You better not take too long though. Mother will try and marry me off some time, especially if we're trying to reunite Mandalore again." Ezra's face must have dropped into a look of horror because Sabine just started laughing. "Relax, I'll let her know I'm... committed."
A sigh of relief left the Jedi, "How are you going to do that?"
Sabine rolled her eyes playfully at him, "By telling her, idiot."
"Oh, I guess that makes sense." Ezra laughed at himself, he really could be dense sometimes.
Her eyes left his for a second to look almost nervously to the side, "There is one other thing I have to do though. For my own sake."
Her chestnut eyes lingered on his for a few seconds before she leaned up to him. Ezra didn't need her to explain what she wanted and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't seen this moment in his dreams a thousand times. By the time he'd closed his own eyes her lips were on his. It wasn't a sensation he'd felt before, of course he'd never kissed anyone before, but in an instant everything became inexplicably instinctive. There wasn't a ferocity to it nor pent-up lust or desire, though Ezra knew there could be if they ever did get the chance. No, this was more pure, slow and absolutely genuine. It wasn't a long kiss, nor a short one, but as the two pulled apart Ezra failed to fully conceal the grin it had put on his face.
Her head moved straight to rest on his shoulder in another warm embrace. After a few seconds, he could swear he begun to hear her whispering something. It was purposely quiet, and he knew it wan't for him to hear right now. It was Mandalorian he was sure, definitely not basic. Ezra knew better than to ask, she'd tell him some day if they had the chance.
They took a few minutes more to just absorb each other's presence as they stood looking out at the plains. They barely moved and didn't speak, there wasn't anything more they could say right now. The sun was already setting and they were going to be travelling to the Capital by night. Ezra found himself wishing they could have stood here and enjoyed this before everything went wrong. Before they set themselves up for a suicide mission, before the Empire almost burned this whole world, before they took Kanan away and shattered their whole family.
"I wish things could have been different," Ezra said, "I wish we'd done this sooner."
Sabine didn't move from her position, only sighing, "I know. I do too."
Ezra smiled thinking about it, "We could have spent days just doing nothing, I could watch you paint or we could go for a walk somewhere. Just spend some time like people in love, not people at war."
"You'd get bored watching me paint", she quietly chuckled.
He playfully nudged her and smiled. "Well what would you want to do then, dear?", he asked, putting some sarcastic emphasis on the endearment.
Sabine thought for a moment, "I'd watch a sunset with you. Or we'd go out for dinner somewhere, just the two of us. And I just know I'd sneak you into my room every night under Hera's nose just to have you there when I woke up in the morning. "
"Now you're just making me more upset", Ezra laughed to her. "Maybe if we make it through this, we can have that life."
The Mandalorian girl had moved back a bit to look at him, "I'll keep hoping. You better keep that promise."
She buried herself quickly back in to his shoulder. From the base of the mountain, they could hear the shouts from the other rebels. They really were ready to make their move any minute.
Reluctantly, Ezra began to slide his arms down and away, "We should get back to the others. I did partially come up her to fetch you."
Sabine wasn't having it though and pulled him back to her, "Not yet". Sabine's arms hooked around his own, leaving him happily trapped in her loving hold, "Just a minute longer, while we still have the chance."
As Ezra settled back into her arms he found himself smiling, something he really hadn't done much of these last few weeks. All the pain of recent events, years of missed chances and the uncertain future they both faced could be put aside for now. Right now they had each other and that was enough, if only for a few more moments.
That's my one anyway, again be sure to check out the other 4 "First Kiss" stories, the others are amazing and all of them do something a little different with the premise.
I've got something else in the works right now, an epilogue to 'Random EzraSabine Stories' and that will be out too in the next few days. My author's notes in there will be where I put all my usual post-chapter rambling, so that's all I'm gonna say for now.
Kind Regards - Lothcat1138
P.S - If anyone has ever read any of my stories, I thoroughly apologise for calling Sabine's eyes "hazel" coloured when they are, in fact, quite clearly dark brown. Please forgive me for my sins.
