There are a few really great Jack Clone stories out there and I will admit they have inspired me to write my own (so thanks to those great authors). As usual I own nothing except the mistakes. If you like it please let me know (it tends to make me write faster).

Sam stood outside the apartment door wondering not for the first time what the hell she was doing here. She doubted that he got anything out of her visits other than an aching reminder of what he had lost and yet she continued the monthly visits and he had never once told her not to come….. so here she was. Taking a deep breath she knocked.

"Geez Carter you have a key. Just let yourself in!" She heard the muffled voice respond from the other side of the door.

Sighing, she let herself into the dingy apartment, wondering why he chose to live like this. She knew what the air force were paying him each month and knew for a fact he could afford something considerably better. As she entered the darkened room the stench of stale beer hit her.

"I take it you have been throwing yourself another pity party Jack." She said archly as she walked over and opened the curtains and a window letting in the bright sunlight and some badly needed fresh air.

"Harsh Carter!" Jack immediately covered his eyes from the sunlight, as he reluctantly and slowly moved to a sitting position on the couch.

"What the light and air or the pity party comment?"

"Both?" He responded grumpily.

Sam sighed once again and sat opposite him.

"Dare I ask how a supposedly teenage boy is getting his hands on beer?"

"Ah Carter you know as well as I do fake ID's aren't nearly as hard to come by as the government would like us to believe. Jack Neil can be 16, 18 or 21 depending on my mood. Hell if I wanted Jack Neil could disappear altogether and become Jack Frost for all anyone would know."

Sam looked up alarmed, concerned that he might one day just disappear and become someone else.

"Relax Carter, Jack Neil is here to stay. I'm not planning anything stupid."

"I didn't think you were." She smiled lightly at him.

"Yes you did." He challenged. "But I forgive you." His mood was becoming lighter just by having her here. He would never admit it to her, but her monthly visits were about all that were keeping him sane at the moment.

"Jack have you even been attending school?"

"And why exactly would I do that Carter? I discovered early on I can just turn up for the exams and still ace high school."

Sam had no response, knowing how hard it must be for him to have to attend high school while knowing as much if not more than the teachers.

"Do you have any idea how it makes me feel to have sixteen year old girls coming on to me? I feel like a dirty old man!"

Sam tried hard to hide the smirk that threatened to escape, she couldn't help imagining a group of teenage girls hitting on her CO.

"Smirk all you like Carter but this is not funny – this is my life!"

"So you are just going to hide away here and drink yourself into oblivion until your body has caught up with your mental age?"

"No I am going to hide away here and drink until I forget about everything I don't have and he does!"

"Jack I know this is hard for you but…."

Jack cut her off before she had a chance to finish what she was saying. "No Carter you don't! You have NO goddamn idea how hard this is! He gets the life, the friends, the adventure, and I get to go through puberty again!" Jack took a deep swallow from his beer bottle. "But neither of us get the girl do we Carter?" He finished sarcastically.

"I don't….."

"Don't give me that crap! You know how he feels about you – hell – how I feel about you!

Sam stood. She regretted coming here every time and this time was the worst, she didn't need to stay and listen to this.

"That's right Carter, you run, run like you always do whenever the emotions get too close to the surface. Here's the thing though, while you don't have to give me the respect you give him, I don't have to leave any of my feelings in that damn room you like so much." As Jack spoke he moved closer invading her personal space and before she knew what was happening she felt his lips pressing against hers.

It took a few moments for Sam the register what was happening. Jack was able to tell the minute she did – her body stiffened and she pushed him away hard enough that he stumbled back into the couch.

"God Carter – I am sorry!" Jack looked so genuinely remorseful that Sam couldn't find it in her to slap him which had been her immediate reaction. "I don't know….I'm sorry….I shouldn't have….."

"You're right, you shouldn't have" Sam said icily, not letting him off that easily.

"He loves you, you know. He'll never do anything to jeopardize your career, but one word from you and he will retire in a heartbeat to be with you." Jack said quietly, coming to the decision that at least one of the versions of himself deserved to be happy and he knew it wasn't going to be him.

Sam looked up in surprise. "I didn't realise." She said softly.

"Yeah well now you know. You are his reason for getting out of bed each day and if you want to keep it to being friends he will be happy – he just needs you to be there – you know?"

Sam sat there processing everything Jack was telling her. She had no idea Jack's feelings for her were so complex and at the same time so simple. She knew she loved him but hadn't wanted to risk him not feeling the same way, their friendship was far too important to her.

"I think I should probably go." She looked up at him and he smiled. He could almost 'see' her thinking and processing everything he said. This was what he missed. He knew her so well, he missed her friendship, her mind, her humour and yes he could admit it, he missed getting to watch her six as she walked ahead of him.

"Yeah. I can already see you overthinking everything I've said. Carter – this isn't complicated. He loves you. And I'm pretty sure you love him. Make it simple." Jack told her.

"It isn't simple though. There are regulations…"

"Carter! Ach! Think about what I said. Make it simple."

Sam grabbed her bag and let herself out of the apartment while Jack rose to go get himself another beer. He knew full well the other him would be pissed as hell about what he had just said but he was sick of thinking about everything he had lost. He missed Daniel and Teal'c but losing Carter was like a great gaping hole in his life. He didn't realise how much he relied on just being able to see her in any capacity and that was the only reason he hadn't put a stop to her monthly visits. It was his one connection to her and he just wasn't strong enough to give that up.