I left the hospital room to tell Alana and Jeff that they weren't going to get the all American, blonde hair blue eyes baby they were hoping for. I was going to crush their dreams of being parents, just like Karen had crushed my heart. Her words still ringing in my head "I never said it was yours" I explained as quickly as possible what had happened, trying to keep my eyes dry and my voice steady. Alana started to cry and said I can't do this, she apologized and ran down the hall. Tears sprang to my eyes as Jeff handed me the tape I made for my son, and quickly followed his wife through the exit.

I turned around, tape in my hand just staring at it. I had so much hope, hope that my child would one day find me and I could be something to him. That hope was gone, with one look at the Chinese kid, who wasn't mine. I hear a door shut.

"Lip?"

It was Fiona. I am still angry at her for kicking me out of the house. I turn to walk away. One, two, three steps and I stop. I turn and look, she is still there. I feel myself losing control. As I feel my knees give out and I fall to the floor, Fiona is there at my side. She puts her hands on my cheeks making me look at her.

"You are a good person" she says staring into my dry eyes, "you don't deserve to be treated that way, I'm so sorry buddy, I love you."

With those words, the tears that I have been holding back, the tears I never let myself cry, start to fall. A sob erupts from my throat, and even though I try to hold it back, there is nothing I can do to stop it. Fiona drops her hands from my face and wraps her arms around me, pulling me to her chest as more sobs are escaping me. I'm trying to control myself, stifle the noise, embarrassed that I am letting myself break.

"Shhh baby, it's OK Lip, it's OK to let go sometimes."

I stop fighting it and let my emotions completely take over. I expect Fiona to leave, I'm not talking and she must know I'm still upset with her, but she doesn't. She just holds me tighter, rubbing my back and mumbling comforting words. After a few minutes the tears are slowing down, and I pull away from Fiona's hold. She reaches a hand up to my face, to wipe the last of the tears.

Embarrassed by the continued coddling, I flinch away before quietly saying "Thank you Fi, for being here with me. It doesn't change anything, but I, I needed my sister."

Fiona's eyes filled with tears as she pleads "buddy just come home. You need your family right now"

I stand, emotionally spent, but stubborn as ever and mumble "I'm sorry, but I can't yet." And I quickly walk down the hallway and out of the hospital.