Ok, so I suddenly wanted to write a DGray-man fic. There's nothing wrong with that. And yes, I'm neglecting my other fics for now... ah well. They'll be completed some day.
And who knew that Kanda and Allen would argue about weight?
Disclaimer: I don't own DGray-man
[Thanks for the note, Fret.]
I also fixed the layout a bit, so yeah.
The Feeling is Mutual
Dear Allen,
I hated you at first sight. Why oh why did you have to come? You're a hindrance to everyone. You would know that by now. I mean, it's because of you that I'm gonna die.
Kanda
-.-.-.-
Dear Kanda,
Well it's not my fault that Master found me and trained me as an exorcist. Go sulk in a corner with your soba. You might stop hallucinating about seeing lotus flowers everywhere. But, you're crazy enough.
Allen
-.-.-.-
Dear Allen,
Training? You're the one who complained about Marshall Cross every passing day. At least I'm not the one who changed my father into a demon. And about the soba, it's nice. You should try it one day. Instead of your truckloads of meat you eat in one meal and the lotus flowers? Hey, it's better lotus flowers than seeing demons everywhere. You just go "Oh look, there's a demon. Let's go kill it." That's why people are always on the verge of dying. Get it beansprout?
Kanda
-.-.-.-
Dear Kanda,
That bastard made me pay off all his debts and made more every second of his useless life. And Mana turning into a demon meant I actually wanted him to hang around. I'm not some heartless old bastard like you are, Kanda. You must be jealous too. I can eat 'truckloads of meat' as you say and still stay thin. You eat less than me and I bet you're heavier. Also, isn't it kind of sad that your life span is determined by a flower? Pathetic really. And seeing demons is special. I'm actually forewarned and I'm actually targeted by demons. You saw that weird card thing Tyki Mikk had? Yeah, at least my name was in it.
Allen
-.-.-.-
Dear Beansprout,
Oi, I'm only 3 years older than you. You have no right to say that I'm old. And who cares about eating so much. I get full by eating soba and I'm not fat. It's called muscle, which, obviously, you don't have. And muscle weighs more than fat so that explains why I'm most likely heavier. And no, my lifespan isn't determined by a flower. My lifespan is already determined and the flower is just following information which has already been set. You try getting a lotus in an hourglass without breaking it. Hard as hell. I do not wish to be targeted by demons because I do not want to die before I find that man.
Kanda
-.-.-.-
Dear Yu,
That's my new name now huh? And 3 years is a lot. I still say you're jealous over my eating habits and I'm still sure you're fat and not muscular. Fatso. And to get a lotus in an hourglass? All you have to do is go to an hourglass manufacturing and ask them to put a lotus in one of the hourglasses instead of sand. Easy. Hey, who is that man anyway? Your boyfriend? I always knew you were gay.
Allen
-.-.-.-
Dear Allen,
Don't call me Yu. I propose a deal. You don't call me Yu, I won't call you beansprout. Alright? So, how would you know that I'm fat instead of muscular, hm? Could it be that you've been watching me for all these years? If anyone's gay, it's you. And how the hell would you be able to find a hourglass manufacturing machine? And that man is actually my father so I wouldn't exactly like him in that way.
Kanda
-.-.-.-
Dear Kanda,
Fine. You took the fun out of that. Who the hell would want to watch you of all people? Bookman is better to watch than you. All you do is eat soba and meditate. Lavi said that he remembers passing an hourglass manufacturing factory in Germany somewhere. I'll go take a look the next time Komui wants me to go kill a demon. And gross, Kanda. You're gay with your father? I feel so sorry for him. And Road said that Skin Boric thought you were fat when you were fighting against him. You see, Noah's have this peculiar ability to know what other Noah's are thinking.
Allen
-.-.-.-
Dear Allen,
You stalk Bookman now? Wow you lead a sad life. Enough of the soba cracks already it's a perfectly fine item of food to eat. I also went with Lavi to Germany. I'm sure we passed no hourglass manufacturing factories. And I told you already. I. AM. NOT. GAY. Also, since when did you keep in touch with our mortal enemies? I knew you were a bad egg from the start. And admit it. I'm sexy.
Kanda
-.-.-.-
Dear Kanda,
No, no, you should know that Bookman isn't stalked. He stalks instead. Yeah, poor Lavi. And soba isn't perfectly fine. It's bland to eat every single day, breakfast lunch and dinner. I asked Lavi about the hourglass manufacturing factory and he said a Bookman's eyes never lie. About your gayness. I'm afraid you're being in denial. Touchy. Probably overly-defensive. Oh, and Road is actually nice if you get to know her. You should talk to her one day. And Kanda, stop being an arrogant bitch with a stick up your ass.
Allen
-.-.-.-
Dear Allen,
For once, I agree with you. Bookman stalks Lavi. And who says soba is bland? It's healthy and Jeryy's food is the best. And who says that Lavi's not lying himself? I hate this way of communication. It's long and you twist whatever I say.
Kanda
-.-.-.-
Dear Kanda,
I say soba is bland. That's enough. And hey, you were the one who started the letters anyway.
Allen
-.-.-.-
Dear Allen,
Criticise soba one more time and you're gonna get it.
Kanda
-.-.-.-
Dear Kanda,
Just try. Soba sucks.
Allen
-.-.-.-
Dear Allen,
That's it. When you get this, I will hunt you down with my Mugen.
Kanda
-.-.-.-
Dear Kanda,
I heard that you still haven't gotten back your Mugen. Haha.
Allen
-.-.-.-
Dear Allen,
That's it beansprout. You're dead.
Kanda
-.-.-.-
Dear Kanda,
I don't see y
That's it. :D
Pure randomness
Review please.
Sky~