1000 Ways To Destroy Jiro's Hat

by 3BFFs

You know you hate it, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. It's that stupid hat. It has annoyed Bluefire-chan and Zara, BFFs 3&1, to the extent of destroying it once and for all in many stupid ways. Title is parody of 1000 Ways To Die, but that's where the similarity to that show stops. We're not killing Jiro, just his hat... hopefully... Rating may go up for later chapters.

1. Dry Clean Only

It was the hat. It was bugging us. Too much. Why the Black Blood wore it, we had no idea whatsoever. It looked like a red witch hat. Which would be fine, except for that stupid buckle!

"Zara, I hate my big brother's hat," Bluefire-chan growled. "I... need to get rid of his hat... once and for all!"

"Count me in. Flapping all about, it mocks us with its idiocy."

And so, we started writing down some ideas to destroy it. However, after a few minutes, we were stumped as to figuring out how it could be removed from our lives.

"What are its weaknesses? How do we defeat a hat?"

"Washing it? Last time I actually listened to him, all of Jiro-nii-san's clothing is dry cleaned."

We proceeded to dump the hat into the washing machine, and after it was finished, the dryer. Soon, Jiro came in, hatless.

"Bluefire-chan, I need- ah, I see, you're doing laundry. I won't bother you in that case. So, good-" He was cut off as the dryer's timer beeped, indicating it was done. The door popped open, and inside was... "My hat!" Jiro ran up to the dryer, and pulled out a small clump of red material: the hat had shrunk to the size of what would fit a Chihuahua, save the buckle, which didn't shrink at all.

"I can't believe it actually worked, Bluefire. We've gotten rid of the hat."

Bluefire gave a large smile. "High five!"

However, during our conversation, Jiro had walked out of the room. When the high five was over, my face is what caused Bluefire to turn around very slowly.

"Bluefire-chan, did you take the chocolate out of my hat when you washed it?" She nodded, pointing to the ironing board, where a huge mound of chocolate lay. "Ah, thank you!" Cradling chocolate in both arms, Jiro left the laundry room, buckle bobbing on his normal sized hat.

"We've got to get that hat," I say.

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The 3BFFs do NOT own Black Blood Brothers, or any of the crossovers in later ways.

We need ideas REALLY BADLY for future chapters, and by future, we mean future. We already have around 50 ideas, so if you submit one, it will be put on a list and appear in the distant future.