Disclaimer: I do not own them....
"Tony! I swear if you throw one more paper ball at my desk, I will shoot you," warned Ziva David as her partner was about to throw another.
"Aww, come on Zi. I'm just trying to have a lil' fun!"
It had been a week since their last case and they were stuck doing cold cases. None of the agents liked doing cold cases, especially Ziva. She was a Mossad officer. She should be out in the field, kicking ass; not stuck in the squad room going over other cases. Anthony Dinozzo, on the other hand, wasn't too upset over not having a case of their own. Doing cold cases always gave him a chance to annoy his teammates, and even come up with new ways to do just that.
"What's up with you anyway?" asked Tony. "You've been more uptight than usual since Tuesday."
"I am not uptight Tony. I am simply annoyed," she said while trying to finish looking through a case.
"Annoyed with what?"
"You, Dinozzo," replied their boss as he walked into the bullpen. Gibbs set down his coffee and said, "Going to see Abs. Clean up your mess Dinozzo."
"Sure thing boss."
Once Gibbs was in the elevator, Tony stood up and walked to the break room to get a candy bar.
Ziva just watched him walk away. She loved him; she knew that. She was also still a little upset with him. All summer she waited to hear from him, and all summer she heard nothing. No phone call, no letter, not even an e-mail. She was left to just wonder how he was doing. After Jenny's death he was beside himself. He would drink constantly, he would never sleep, and he would just walk around in a daze. Ziva tried many times to get through to him but to avail. Then Vance split them up. Every night she would lie awake and wonder how he was handling it. When she finally saw him, he didn't look that bad. That made her feel a little better. But she still wished he had written to her.
"Ziva? Are you okay?" asked McGee tentatively, for he didn't want her to snap at him.
"Yes Tim, I am fine," replied Ziva, "I was just thinking."
"Oh ok. Well, you looked a little sad so if there's anything you need to talk about, I'm here."
"Thanks McGee."
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Later on…
"So Zee-vah, what're you doing tonight?" Tony asked the Israeli sitting across from him. She was staring at her computer screen. She wasn't typing or moving her mouse. She was just sitting still.
There was no reply. When he looked at her more closely he noticed she looked like she was in another world. He noticed she was doing that lately. Every once in a while when he looked over at her, she looked distracted. He began to worry just a little. Tony knew she could take care of herself, but Ziva David was never distracted. Everyone knew that. So he stood up and walked over to her.
"Hey, what's on your mind?"
Ziva shook her heard vigorously and asked, "What?"
Tony took the opportunity to look right in her eyes. He was a shocked to see that there was hurt in them. At first he was saddened, and then he was filled with rage. Who would hurt her? His crazy ninja chick was hurt and all he wanted to do was kill whoever did it.
"Tony?" Ziva was snapping her fingers in his face to break him out of his reverie. He finally came to after a few seconds of this and decided he would sign his death certificate.
He grabbed her arm and dragged her to the men's bathroom. Once inside he locked the door and turned to speak.
"What's wrong?" Of course Tony knew he probably wouldn't make it out of there alive but he needed to know what was going on. He wanted to make it better because he didn't want her to hurt.
"Why do you think something is wrong Tony?" snapped Ziva. It's not that she was pissed, because she wasn't. She was just annoyed that he would just grab her like that.
"Because I can tell when something is bothering you. So to save us both some trouble, how about you just tell me." As he said this, Ziva noticed his voice was different. It wasn't the amusing voice he usually talked in. It was filled with something else. Was it care? That was a first for Dinozzo. It made her soften a bit. Maybe he did care for her. Even if he didn't love her back, she was happy knowing that there was a possibility that he cared.
"It's nothing Tony. Do not worry about it." Then she suddenly found interest in the tiles on the floor. Wanting to look her in the face as he spoke, Tony lifted her chin with his finger until she was looking at him.
"Zee, what's wrong?" The sincerity in his eyes and face was getting to her. She wished he didn't have that effect on her. She was taught to hide your emotions; to not tell people what you're thinking. And now, all he would have to do is look at her and she just wanted to spill her guts to him. She had had a wall up around herself for years. Once she met him, he would break it down bit by bit. Now, there was barely one there. "Really Tony, do not worry about it. I will be fine."
"No, there's something wrong and I think you should tell me," came Tony's reply.
"Why should I tell you? There isn't anything you can do." Ziva was getting a little annoyed that he would not drop it.
Tony thought for a minute and then spoke. "Well, it obviously is doing you no good to keep it inside. If you tell me, it might make you feel a lil' relieved. Or I could help you."
"No Tony, that won't make me feel better and there's nothing you could say to make me feel better." Ziva was starting to get more than annoyed with him so she tried to just walk away. She got to the door but he was already there, between it and her, blocking her way out. "Tony," she said warningly, "if you do not move I will break your arm." Now, she was pissed.
After gathering some guts, he said, "Nope, not moving until you tell me what is bothering you." He knew he should just move. He also knew he wouldn't get it out of her, but he still wanted to try. There was something wrong with her and it wasn't just nothing, as she said earlier. This was something big. He knew because he could read her. Her Mossad face was up and yet he could still see right through it. When he could see through that, he knew it was something big.
"Why can't you just leave me alone huh? Why do you always have to know everything that is going on in my life? It is my personal business and you do not always have to know every little detail of it. If there is something wrong and I am not telling you about it, maybe it is because I do not want you to know. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, if I wanted you to know what is going on in my head I would tell you? But since I am not telling you, leave. It. Alone." By this point she was yelling at him. People who were walking by were stopping just to listen.
Ziva's angry yelling was getting him worked up too. All he wanted to do was make her feel better and all she wanted to do was yell at him for being concerned. "Maybe, just maybe, I care about you and I don't want to see you hurting," Tony whispered, trying to get himself calm again.
"You care? Oh really?" laughed Ziva.
That did it. He was pissed. "Yea Ziva, I do care about you. I know it's so hard to believe but I do care about you. You're my best friend. Why the hell wouldn't I care about you? I just wanna make you feel better but you won't let me in. How can I be a friend if you keep me at arm's length all the time? Damn it Zi, why won't you just tell me what's wrong?"
She had begun pacing while he was yelling. She didn't want to be mad at him or yell at him but he just pissed her off so much. If she had it her way, he would've only asked what was wrong once then dropped it. This was just obnoxious. Why couldn't he understand that? She didn't like it when people incessantly asked her what was wrong when she told them the first time it was nothing. It's not like she was just gonna change her answer. If she wanted someone to know something she would have told them.
Tony leaned against the sink and wished that she would stop trying to be so brave. He wanted her to know she never had to go through anything alone. He'd always be there for her, no matter what. Ever since day one, he knew he lusted after her. All he wanted to do was get her into bed. But as the years went on, it became something different. He never could figure out what it was, until this past summer. While spending four months on that stupid boat, he realized he loved her. He wanted a real relationship with her, not a one night stand. He respected and loved her too much for that.
After an angry staring match with Tony, she finally just told him. "You, Tony, you. That is what's wrong with me."
All of a sudden, he wasn't angry anymore. He was shocked. What did he do? He hadn't done anything recently to hurt her. "What did I do?' he asked cautiously.
"Nothing, you did nothing. All summer I worried over you. I wondered if you were still getting drunk every night to get rid of the pain of losing Jenny. Every night I would lay awake and wonder if I did or said something wrong when you left because I never heard from you. I never got a call, or a letter, or anything telling me how you were. If you 'cared'' she used air quotes, "about me then why didn't you call or write?"
Tony just looked at her, too stunned to speak. After a few minutes, Ziva got annoyed. 'He obviously did not and does not care,' she thought. So she decided to just leave. 'Hope the firing range is still open.'
She walked into the bullpen where McGee and Gibbs were sitting.
"Where were you? And where's Dinozzo?" asked Gibbs.
"Bathroom," was all she said as she grabbed her stuff.
Gibbs just looked at her. He knew something was up. He knew that something was Dinozzo. 'Wonder what he did now,' he thought to himself as he shook his head.
Just then, Tony came walking into the bullpen, still stunned.
Gibbs and McGee just shared a look. A stunned Tony never happens. He is always quick-witted no matter what was said to him.
Ziva had just turned off her computer and was about to walk out when she saw Tony. She rolled her eyes and was about to walk out when she barely heard him whisper, "128."
This caught her attention. "What?"
"128. That's how many letters I wrote. I wrote you a letter every single day from the time I left until I saw you again." Now it was her turn to be stunned. She was speechless. Every time she opened her mouth to say something nothing came out.
So Tony took the opportunity to continue talking. "I always thought you were ignoring me. Even when I never got a reply from you, I still wrote. I just had to."
Wow. She couldn't believe it. He wrote to her? Why didn't she get them? And then it hit her. "My father."
By the time it registered in Tony's brain what she had said and he had started to ask if he was the one who took his letters, she was already on the phone yelling at someone in Hebrew. After a couple minutes she angrily shut her phone.
"So?" Tony asked.
"He took out your letters because he thought you would be a distraction to my work. I can't believe that bastard." Ziva had begun pacing again.
"Hey Zi, don't worry about it. It's no big deal. Since both you and I are here, we can just talk. I'll tell you about my summer and you tell me about yours." Of course he won't tell her what letter 128 said. He'd lost the courage for that a while back.
"But-" she began but was cut off by Tony. "No buts. Just leave it alone. We all know daddy dearest is a jerk. Forget him."
"Fine." After learning about Tony's letters and what her father had done with them she was not in the mood for more arguing. In fact, she was happy. She now knew that Tony did care for her. That was all she could really think about for the moment.
"So, how about we go get a drink or two, then back to my place for a pizza and a movie? I'll even let you pick the movie. And we'll just talk. You, me, no interruptions, deal?" Tony already knew she'd agree. "That sounds good to me Tony."
As they walked to the elevator, Tony couldn't help but to smile. 'So she wasn't ignoring me,' he thought. Maybe one day he could gather the courage to say how he really feels about her but for now, just being her best friend will do.
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Letter 128
Z,
I love you.
T.
A/N.
So this is my first fanfic. Hope it wasn't too bad hahaha. Let me know what you think. Praise or criticism is welcomed. :)