Disclaimer: nothing in Harry Potter is owned by Max, but feel free to sue
him! (evil big sis who was so gracious enough to post this because he's
technologically impared.)
A Speaker, a Serial Killer, and a Substitute
By Max Maher
The day was Saturday, April the 4th and spring was
blooming all around Hogwarts. The snow had melted,
the Whomping Willow was growing leaves, and students
everywhere had ditched their winter robes and scarves
and were enjoying the cool breeze. Even Harry, Ron,
and Hermione had decided that the weather was too nice
to be stuck inside cramming for their Transfiguration
quiz Monday. Everyone was relaxing on the Hogwarts
grounds when all of a sudden a loud noise startled
everyone.
The giant squid had leapt out of the lake at a great
speed and splashed everyone within a hundred feet of
the shore. It froze 20 feet above the water in midair
and stood for several minutes. McGonagall came
running out with Dumbledore when more trouble
occurred. The squid was shooting red laser beams at
people from its mouth. One of them hit McGonagall
square in the face. She fell down and lay
unconscious, half petrified.
The squid stopped attacking, and splashed into the
water it. It rose again, but this time it didn't
attack. Instead, a golden staircase appeared from its
mouth to the shore. Then, a loud voice broke
traumatized silence, "ENTER, OR ELSE YOUR SCHOOL WILL
PERISH.NO, NOT YOU LUNA, OR YOU NEVILLE, NO, STAY OUT
SEAMUS! CURSES, HOW DO I KNOW YOUR NAMES? OH
WELL.HARRY POTTER AND ALBUS DUMBLEDORE, ENTER NOW!!"
Dumbledore rushed over to Harry and said, "Erm.could
you take this one for me, I know I still owe you big
time for helping out in the Chamber of Secrets," and
then he added, looking over at McGonagall, "but I
have, erm, business to attend to."
"Fine," said Harry. "I'll be back by next Friday, no
guarantees. Cya Ron, Hermione."
"Bye," they both said at once.
* * *
It was Monday morning and still no sign of Harry.
Ron and Hermione headed towards the greenhouses for
Herbology. As soon as they walked in students were
crammed up against the wall to look at a notice
Professor Sprout had put on the board. Right when Ron
and Hermione were about to read it, Sprout had exited
her office and said, "Everybody! Take your places!
We have much to do today!"
Everybody took their spots and Sprout announced,
"Now, as we only have three months of school left, I
have much work to do for all you sixth years! This is
why I have decided to hire a class Speaker! This
person will have the responsibility of organizing all
lessons through April 15 to end of term and teaching
the class. Even though this is illegal under
Educational Decree number 4 or 5, it doesn't matter
anyway, I'll be retiring after this year. Anyway,
even though I'm not allowed to vote, I highly suggest
that you select Neville! Neville?"
"I will take forth in many challenging Herbology
lessons," Neville exclaimed, "including Introductory
to Mandrake Formulas and the Understanding of how
Muggle plants such as the Venus Fly Trap capture their
insects and use it for plant food!"
"Well, what about their ability to use chlorophyll?,"
Smartass Colin Creevey stated.
"Phhh!," exclaimed Neville. "I'm aware of their
work! So, vote for me, and, keep watching the grass!"
"Excellent!," exclaimed Sprout. "Excellent, Neville!
Anyone else?"
Parvati whispered to Lavendar, and she smirked.
Then, as if they planned it, they both said, "We
nominate Ron Weasley! Speech! Speech!"
"Erm.save the rainforest?," Ron said. The class
applauded. Sprout looked disgusted, and then decided
to begin their lesson for the day.
* * *
Hermione and Ron were on their way to
Transfiguration. The producers of the Harry Potter
movies made sure that they were going out for
publicity, so they happened to be dating each other.
Everything was going quite well. They opened the door
to Transfiguration and found a subsitute there instead
of McGonagall.
Hermione was thankful for this, she had forgotten to
study and whenever there was a sub for when they were
supposed to have a quiz, they wouldn't ever have it.
The sub was very young for the Wizarding World, so
someone around forty. She and Ron took their seats
and class began.
"Hello," the substitute addressed the class. "My
name is Mr. Umbridge, but you can feel free to make
fun of my name all you want, two suggestions are Mr.
Umbitch and Mr.
Idiot-Who-Coincidentally-Has-The-Same-Last-Name-As-Kinney's-Wife."
The class laughed and Hermione giggled. She thought
this person was great throughout the entire lesson.
Never before had she learned so well from anyone and
had such great fun at the same time. Mr. Umbridge
noticed quickly how gifted Hermione was, and took a
liking to her too. After class, Mr. Umbridge held
Hermione after class and asked her if Harry helped her
with her homework. This was definitely the wrong
question to ask at the time. She had been upset with
Harry's jealously against Ron for getting Hermione.
"No," she said to him. "Trust me, he's useless as a
dungbat!" Hermione looked up at Mr. Umbridge and felt
as though he understood her, and she felt she
understood him. There was some connection, not a love
connection, but more of a special bond between them.
* * *
Harry was climbing down and through the Squid's maze
of intestines until finally, Monday afternoon, he
found a mysterious black door as one of the exits.
Cautiously, he opened it.
"I'm glad you're here, Harry," said a cold and evil
voice.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!," Harry screamed. He then
looked closer at the face that had said that and
realized it was Voldemort.
Harry caught his breath and said, "Oh.haha, just you.
So, how's it been."
"What?," Voldemort said. "No continuous screams, no
terror, no fear beyond belief?"
"Hey, every time we get caught up in a situation, I
win and you end up losing," Harry remarked. "I'm
5-0!"
"Yes, well," said Voldemort, "I'll admit my winning
streak no longer exists. Hmm.it seems Dumbledore was
too cowardly to join you. Oh well, no need!" He took
out his wand and said, "Hypnotica!"
Harry's eyes were spinning and he fell into some sort
of trance. Voldemort laughed loudly and said,
"Perfect! Now for you to listen to me! I will make
you kill your best friends, and if time allows, Draco
Malfoy. That kid needs some help, thinking he's a
dark wizard. HA! Okay, now listen to me Harry!
Repeat after me: I am at your power."
"I am at your command," Harry said.
"Uh-uh!," Voldemort said. I said nothing about
command! Power!
"I am at your power," Harry corrected himself, still
dazed.
"Perfect!," Voldemort said. "No, wait, go back to
command for a sec.no! No, power. Power!"
* * *
Ron had been planning speeches that entire week. He
delivered each of them everyday at lunch. All the
Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs besides Neville and Colin
seemed to like his way of thinking. He felt for sure
that he was going to win his race. The voting was
taking place that afternoon and the ballots were about
to close. He was handing out Pumpkin Pasties to
everyone as a before-winning party.
"Hey, Seamus, thanks for voting for me," Ron had
said.
"I didn't vote, voting's for geeks!," Seamus replied.
"Yeah," Ron said, "ya got that right. Thanks for
your vote ladies." Lavendar and Parvati were walking
past him.
"We forgot!," they both said.
"Erm, don't sweat it, as long as some people did,
right Dean? Hermione?"
"Uh-oh," Dean said.
"Whoops," Hermione added.
"WELL SOMEONE MUST HAVE REMEMBERED!," Ron shouted.
"Did you vote?," Hermione asked.
Ron looked devastated. "No." He rushed to the
greenhouses when the bell rang. The voting was over.
Neville had won with 2 votes to nothing.
* * *
The next two weeks went by fast. Harry had tried to
kill Ron and Hermione but broke out of the trance and
had escaped Voldemort's wrath again (6-0!). Ron was
still depressed about his loss, and Hermione was still
excited about Transfiguration lessons. Today she was
going to give Mr. Umbridge a flower she had picked on
the Hogwarts grounds. Mr. Umbridge made her look at
life in a totally different way, and decided that she
would give this to him for him to understand that.
Last week, she went to Hogsmeade with him to visit the
new Witch Hunt Museum that opened. She ran to
Transfiguration to give it to him. She was the first
to enter to find that Professor McGonagall was back.
"Hi Ms. Granger," she said, "I'm back!"
Looking heartbroken, Hermione took her seat. The
class filed in and did the same. Professor McGonagall
looked slightly embarrassed and walked up to the
blackboard to start the lesson.
"Okay class, I want to let you all know that I was
okay and that the red laser beam didn't even affect me
at all," she said. "It turned out that my half
petrification was (and she wrote this on the board)
Psychosomatic."
"What's that mean?," Neville said.
"It means she was crazy," said Dean.
"No, it means that she was faking it," said Parvati.
"No," said Professor McGonagall. "Actually it was a
little of both. Sometimes when these things are in
all the magazines, and is in the Daily Prophet all the
time, it's only natural that you think you have it.
It turned out that I could move just fine all along!"
"Where's Mr. Umbridge?," Hermione said suddenly,
holding back tears.
"Oh, he's leaving right now on the train," said
Professor McGonagall. "Oh, what did he teach you?!
He didn't touch my lesson plan at all!!
"That life is worth living," cried Hermione. She
sped out of the classroom and down the stairs outside
the classroom. From there she ran outside the
Hogwarts gates, holding a stitch in her side, to the
Hogsmeade station. She caught Mr. Umbridge as he was
about to board his train.
"Mr. Umbridge!," she said, "MR. UMBRIDGE!" Mr.
Umbrdige, as well as a few other people, heard her.
"Hey, Hermione," he said. "How are you?"
"Were you just gonna leave?? Just like that??"
"Ah, Hermione, I had to. I'm off to Durmstrang."
"But.you can't just.leave!"
"Oh, Hermione, but I have to. It's the life of a
subsitute teacher. I'm a fraud! Today I might be
mixing potions, tomorrow I'll be predicting the
future, or pretending to know how to repot Mandrakes,
or God knows what. The world out there needs me."
"But I need you too!," said Hermione.
"That's the problem with being middle class," said
Mr. Umbridge. "Those who love you will abandon you
for those who need them more."
"I.understand," said Hermione. "This is for you (she
handed him the flower). Oh, I'm gonna miss you!"
Hermione hugged him.
"Listen," Mr. Umbridge said, "if ever you feel alone,
and that there is no one to rely on, this is all you
need to know." He then took out a piece of paper,
wrote something on it, and then folded it in half and
gave it to Hermione.
"Thank you," Hermione said. "If you don't mind, I'll
just run alongside the train as it speeds you from my
life!"
The train began to take off. Mr. Umbridge jumped in
and took his seat. Hermione ran alongside the train
and looked at Mr. Umbridge as he was going miles an
hour faster than she was.
"It's gonna be okay," Mr. Umbridge shouted. "Just
read the note!"
Hermione took one last look at him and then at the
piece of paper in her hand. She unfolded it, and read
it. It read: You are Hermione Granger.
* * *
"RON DIDN'T GET ONE VOTE??," Harry shouted. "Aw,
man, this sucks! Hey, what's wrong with YOU?" he
added to Hermione.
Hermione still held a grudge against him. "Nothing,"
she said.
"Go ahead and tell him," Ginny said. She knew about
this whole ordeal with Hermione's bond with Mr.
Umbridge.
"Mr. Umbridge left today, as you know, Harry," she
said.
"Okay," Harry said.
"He's gone," Hermione said.
"And." Harry said.
"I didn't think you'd understand," she said.
"Hey," Harry said, "just because I don't CARE doesn't
mean I don't UNDERSTAND!"
Hermione got off the chair she was slouched in and
stood up at Harry.
"I'm glad I'm not crying," she said, "because I'd
hate for you to think that what I'm about to say is
based on emotion. But YOU Harry, SUCK! YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
"Hermione," Harry said, looking awestruck, "I don't
think you realize what you're saying!"
"YOOOUUU SUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!," she shouted one
last time. She ran out of the Gryffindor Common Room
with tears and headed for the library.
"Wow," Ron said, "one of us was bound to say it one
day, I just can't believe it was her!"
"I can't believe she said that to me!," Harry said.
"Me! Of all people!"
"Harry," Ginny said, "you're not allowed to have hurt
feelings right now! There's a girl downstairs who
needs you! Her confidence in her bond with you is
shaken and no one can be happy unless they have faith
in their friend!"
Harry, angry, got up off his seat and went downstairs
to the library. She found Hermione sitting at a table
with her head down, still sobbing. She looked up and
saw Harry.
"Go away," she said.
"Hermione, I'm sorry," Harry said, "are you crying
because you said I suck?"
"NO!," Hermione yelled.
"Nuts," Harry said. "Look.this is hard for me to put
this, but, I'll try. You.lost someone special to you
and it hurts, I'm lucky because I never lost anyone
special to me, well, accept mom, dad, Cedric, and
Sirius, but other than that, everyone special to me
lives in this castle. It's true. Now, you'll be a
lot of special people in your life, Hermione, there's
probably someplace where they all hang out and the
food is good and guys and house-elves like myself and
Dobby are doing nothing but serving drinks.
I'm.sorry."
"Thank you, Harry," Hermione said, "friends?"
"Friends."
* * *
Epilogue: Harry later helped Ron get over feeling
sorry for himself by reminding him that he wouldn't
get paid, he'd be breaking the law, and that the job
itself would suck anyways. Harry then started his own
Psychiatrist stand and charged the world five knuts
for five minutes of help. His visitors include Filch,
Voldemort, and Neville Longbottom.
THE END
A Speaker, a Serial Killer, and a Substitute
By Max Maher
The day was Saturday, April the 4th and spring was
blooming all around Hogwarts. The snow had melted,
the Whomping Willow was growing leaves, and students
everywhere had ditched their winter robes and scarves
and were enjoying the cool breeze. Even Harry, Ron,
and Hermione had decided that the weather was too nice
to be stuck inside cramming for their Transfiguration
quiz Monday. Everyone was relaxing on the Hogwarts
grounds when all of a sudden a loud noise startled
everyone.
The giant squid had leapt out of the lake at a great
speed and splashed everyone within a hundred feet of
the shore. It froze 20 feet above the water in midair
and stood for several minutes. McGonagall came
running out with Dumbledore when more trouble
occurred. The squid was shooting red laser beams at
people from its mouth. One of them hit McGonagall
square in the face. She fell down and lay
unconscious, half petrified.
The squid stopped attacking, and splashed into the
water it. It rose again, but this time it didn't
attack. Instead, a golden staircase appeared from its
mouth to the shore. Then, a loud voice broke
traumatized silence, "ENTER, OR ELSE YOUR SCHOOL WILL
PERISH.NO, NOT YOU LUNA, OR YOU NEVILLE, NO, STAY OUT
SEAMUS! CURSES, HOW DO I KNOW YOUR NAMES? OH
WELL.HARRY POTTER AND ALBUS DUMBLEDORE, ENTER NOW!!"
Dumbledore rushed over to Harry and said, "Erm.could
you take this one for me, I know I still owe you big
time for helping out in the Chamber of Secrets," and
then he added, looking over at McGonagall, "but I
have, erm, business to attend to."
"Fine," said Harry. "I'll be back by next Friday, no
guarantees. Cya Ron, Hermione."
"Bye," they both said at once.
* * *
It was Monday morning and still no sign of Harry.
Ron and Hermione headed towards the greenhouses for
Herbology. As soon as they walked in students were
crammed up against the wall to look at a notice
Professor Sprout had put on the board. Right when Ron
and Hermione were about to read it, Sprout had exited
her office and said, "Everybody! Take your places!
We have much to do today!"
Everybody took their spots and Sprout announced,
"Now, as we only have three months of school left, I
have much work to do for all you sixth years! This is
why I have decided to hire a class Speaker! This
person will have the responsibility of organizing all
lessons through April 15 to end of term and teaching
the class. Even though this is illegal under
Educational Decree number 4 or 5, it doesn't matter
anyway, I'll be retiring after this year. Anyway,
even though I'm not allowed to vote, I highly suggest
that you select Neville! Neville?"
"I will take forth in many challenging Herbology
lessons," Neville exclaimed, "including Introductory
to Mandrake Formulas and the Understanding of how
Muggle plants such as the Venus Fly Trap capture their
insects and use it for plant food!"
"Well, what about their ability to use chlorophyll?,"
Smartass Colin Creevey stated.
"Phhh!," exclaimed Neville. "I'm aware of their
work! So, vote for me, and, keep watching the grass!"
"Excellent!," exclaimed Sprout. "Excellent, Neville!
Anyone else?"
Parvati whispered to Lavendar, and she smirked.
Then, as if they planned it, they both said, "We
nominate Ron Weasley! Speech! Speech!"
"Erm.save the rainforest?," Ron said. The class
applauded. Sprout looked disgusted, and then decided
to begin their lesson for the day.
* * *
Hermione and Ron were on their way to
Transfiguration. The producers of the Harry Potter
movies made sure that they were going out for
publicity, so they happened to be dating each other.
Everything was going quite well. They opened the door
to Transfiguration and found a subsitute there instead
of McGonagall.
Hermione was thankful for this, she had forgotten to
study and whenever there was a sub for when they were
supposed to have a quiz, they wouldn't ever have it.
The sub was very young for the Wizarding World, so
someone around forty. She and Ron took their seats
and class began.
"Hello," the substitute addressed the class. "My
name is Mr. Umbridge, but you can feel free to make
fun of my name all you want, two suggestions are Mr.
Umbitch and Mr.
Idiot-Who-Coincidentally-Has-The-Same-Last-Name-As-Kinney's-Wife."
The class laughed and Hermione giggled. She thought
this person was great throughout the entire lesson.
Never before had she learned so well from anyone and
had such great fun at the same time. Mr. Umbridge
noticed quickly how gifted Hermione was, and took a
liking to her too. After class, Mr. Umbridge held
Hermione after class and asked her if Harry helped her
with her homework. This was definitely the wrong
question to ask at the time. She had been upset with
Harry's jealously against Ron for getting Hermione.
"No," she said to him. "Trust me, he's useless as a
dungbat!" Hermione looked up at Mr. Umbridge and felt
as though he understood her, and she felt she
understood him. There was some connection, not a love
connection, but more of a special bond between them.
* * *
Harry was climbing down and through the Squid's maze
of intestines until finally, Monday afternoon, he
found a mysterious black door as one of the exits.
Cautiously, he opened it.
"I'm glad you're here, Harry," said a cold and evil
voice.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!," Harry screamed. He then
looked closer at the face that had said that and
realized it was Voldemort.
Harry caught his breath and said, "Oh.haha, just you.
So, how's it been."
"What?," Voldemort said. "No continuous screams, no
terror, no fear beyond belief?"
"Hey, every time we get caught up in a situation, I
win and you end up losing," Harry remarked. "I'm
5-0!"
"Yes, well," said Voldemort, "I'll admit my winning
streak no longer exists. Hmm.it seems Dumbledore was
too cowardly to join you. Oh well, no need!" He took
out his wand and said, "Hypnotica!"
Harry's eyes were spinning and he fell into some sort
of trance. Voldemort laughed loudly and said,
"Perfect! Now for you to listen to me! I will make
you kill your best friends, and if time allows, Draco
Malfoy. That kid needs some help, thinking he's a
dark wizard. HA! Okay, now listen to me Harry!
Repeat after me: I am at your power."
"I am at your command," Harry said.
"Uh-uh!," Voldemort said. I said nothing about
command! Power!
"I am at your power," Harry corrected himself, still
dazed.
"Perfect!," Voldemort said. "No, wait, go back to
command for a sec.no! No, power. Power!"
* * *
Ron had been planning speeches that entire week. He
delivered each of them everyday at lunch. All the
Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs besides Neville and Colin
seemed to like his way of thinking. He felt for sure
that he was going to win his race. The voting was
taking place that afternoon and the ballots were about
to close. He was handing out Pumpkin Pasties to
everyone as a before-winning party.
"Hey, Seamus, thanks for voting for me," Ron had
said.
"I didn't vote, voting's for geeks!," Seamus replied.
"Yeah," Ron said, "ya got that right. Thanks for
your vote ladies." Lavendar and Parvati were walking
past him.
"We forgot!," they both said.
"Erm, don't sweat it, as long as some people did,
right Dean? Hermione?"
"Uh-oh," Dean said.
"Whoops," Hermione added.
"WELL SOMEONE MUST HAVE REMEMBERED!," Ron shouted.
"Did you vote?," Hermione asked.
Ron looked devastated. "No." He rushed to the
greenhouses when the bell rang. The voting was over.
Neville had won with 2 votes to nothing.
* * *
The next two weeks went by fast. Harry had tried to
kill Ron and Hermione but broke out of the trance and
had escaped Voldemort's wrath again (6-0!). Ron was
still depressed about his loss, and Hermione was still
excited about Transfiguration lessons. Today she was
going to give Mr. Umbridge a flower she had picked on
the Hogwarts grounds. Mr. Umbridge made her look at
life in a totally different way, and decided that she
would give this to him for him to understand that.
Last week, she went to Hogsmeade with him to visit the
new Witch Hunt Museum that opened. She ran to
Transfiguration to give it to him. She was the first
to enter to find that Professor McGonagall was back.
"Hi Ms. Granger," she said, "I'm back!"
Looking heartbroken, Hermione took her seat. The
class filed in and did the same. Professor McGonagall
looked slightly embarrassed and walked up to the
blackboard to start the lesson.
"Okay class, I want to let you all know that I was
okay and that the red laser beam didn't even affect me
at all," she said. "It turned out that my half
petrification was (and she wrote this on the board)
Psychosomatic."
"What's that mean?," Neville said.
"It means she was crazy," said Dean.
"No, it means that she was faking it," said Parvati.
"No," said Professor McGonagall. "Actually it was a
little of both. Sometimes when these things are in
all the magazines, and is in the Daily Prophet all the
time, it's only natural that you think you have it.
It turned out that I could move just fine all along!"
"Where's Mr. Umbridge?," Hermione said suddenly,
holding back tears.
"Oh, he's leaving right now on the train," said
Professor McGonagall. "Oh, what did he teach you?!
He didn't touch my lesson plan at all!!
"That life is worth living," cried Hermione. She
sped out of the classroom and down the stairs outside
the classroom. From there she ran outside the
Hogwarts gates, holding a stitch in her side, to the
Hogsmeade station. She caught Mr. Umbridge as he was
about to board his train.
"Mr. Umbridge!," she said, "MR. UMBRIDGE!" Mr.
Umbrdige, as well as a few other people, heard her.
"Hey, Hermione," he said. "How are you?"
"Were you just gonna leave?? Just like that??"
"Ah, Hermione, I had to. I'm off to Durmstrang."
"But.you can't just.leave!"
"Oh, Hermione, but I have to. It's the life of a
subsitute teacher. I'm a fraud! Today I might be
mixing potions, tomorrow I'll be predicting the
future, or pretending to know how to repot Mandrakes,
or God knows what. The world out there needs me."
"But I need you too!," said Hermione.
"That's the problem with being middle class," said
Mr. Umbridge. "Those who love you will abandon you
for those who need them more."
"I.understand," said Hermione. "This is for you (she
handed him the flower). Oh, I'm gonna miss you!"
Hermione hugged him.
"Listen," Mr. Umbridge said, "if ever you feel alone,
and that there is no one to rely on, this is all you
need to know." He then took out a piece of paper,
wrote something on it, and then folded it in half and
gave it to Hermione.
"Thank you," Hermione said. "If you don't mind, I'll
just run alongside the train as it speeds you from my
life!"
The train began to take off. Mr. Umbridge jumped in
and took his seat. Hermione ran alongside the train
and looked at Mr. Umbridge as he was going miles an
hour faster than she was.
"It's gonna be okay," Mr. Umbridge shouted. "Just
read the note!"
Hermione took one last look at him and then at the
piece of paper in her hand. She unfolded it, and read
it. It read: You are Hermione Granger.
* * *
"RON DIDN'T GET ONE VOTE??," Harry shouted. "Aw,
man, this sucks! Hey, what's wrong with YOU?" he
added to Hermione.
Hermione still held a grudge against him. "Nothing,"
she said.
"Go ahead and tell him," Ginny said. She knew about
this whole ordeal with Hermione's bond with Mr.
Umbridge.
"Mr. Umbridge left today, as you know, Harry," she
said.
"Okay," Harry said.
"He's gone," Hermione said.
"And." Harry said.
"I didn't think you'd understand," she said.
"Hey," Harry said, "just because I don't CARE doesn't
mean I don't UNDERSTAND!"
Hermione got off the chair she was slouched in and
stood up at Harry.
"I'm glad I'm not crying," she said, "because I'd
hate for you to think that what I'm about to say is
based on emotion. But YOU Harry, SUCK! YOU SUCK!
YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
"Hermione," Harry said, looking awestruck, "I don't
think you realize what you're saying!"
"YOOOUUU SUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!," she shouted one
last time. She ran out of the Gryffindor Common Room
with tears and headed for the library.
"Wow," Ron said, "one of us was bound to say it one
day, I just can't believe it was her!"
"I can't believe she said that to me!," Harry said.
"Me! Of all people!"
"Harry," Ginny said, "you're not allowed to have hurt
feelings right now! There's a girl downstairs who
needs you! Her confidence in her bond with you is
shaken and no one can be happy unless they have faith
in their friend!"
Harry, angry, got up off his seat and went downstairs
to the library. She found Hermione sitting at a table
with her head down, still sobbing. She looked up and
saw Harry.
"Go away," she said.
"Hermione, I'm sorry," Harry said, "are you crying
because you said I suck?"
"NO!," Hermione yelled.
"Nuts," Harry said. "Look.this is hard for me to put
this, but, I'll try. You.lost someone special to you
and it hurts, I'm lucky because I never lost anyone
special to me, well, accept mom, dad, Cedric, and
Sirius, but other than that, everyone special to me
lives in this castle. It's true. Now, you'll be a
lot of special people in your life, Hermione, there's
probably someplace where they all hang out and the
food is good and guys and house-elves like myself and
Dobby are doing nothing but serving drinks.
I'm.sorry."
"Thank you, Harry," Hermione said, "friends?"
"Friends."
* * *
Epilogue: Harry later helped Ron get over feeling
sorry for himself by reminding him that he wouldn't
get paid, he'd be breaking the law, and that the job
itself would suck anyways. Harry then started his own
Psychiatrist stand and charged the world five knuts
for five minutes of help. His visitors include Filch,
Voldemort, and Neville Longbottom.
THE END