Part 1
Ruki woke to the sound of fangirls cheering. He looked around, slightly confused. 'Why is the stage outdoors and where's everybody else' he wondered. The fangirls rushed onto the stage and started crushing him with their hugs. "You did it!" some yelled.
"You killed the East Bitch!" others cheered.
Now he was really confused. A tall blonde pushed her way through the crowd to get to him. She was wearing some kind of Lolita costume and carried a mic that left a trail of glitter. She stopped in front of him and smiled.
"Thank you for destroying that Bitch. She's been a pain in the ass for way too long. I'm Yohio, the Queen Bitch," she, well he, said. He turned to the fangirls. "Somebody please get me the bitch's boots."
Half a dozen girls rushed off to get the boots. When they returned with the boots they bowed and giggled while handing them over. Yohio took the shoes and kissed each girl before sending them away. He turned to Ruki and held out the most hideous pair of boots in the universe. Bright red, rhinestone covered go go boots.
"As a reward for killing the Bitch here are her favorite boots. They will get you where you need to go go," he said with a giggle.
"I'm not wearing those," Ruki stated flatly.
"But they'll go so well with your dress. Here I'll take your doggie while you put them on."
Ruki looked down at himself and groaned. Koron was in a basket in his hand instead of a microphone. He was also wearing a blue and white checkered dress with knee high stockings. What the hell was going on? Yohio began tapping his foot as he waited for Ruki to take the shoes. Ruki shook his head and turned to leave.
"Get him, girls," Yohio said to the assembled crowd with a snap of his fingers.
Ruki was almost crushed again as the fangirls swarmed him to do as they were told. They took Koron, removed his shoes and placed the ugly ass boots on him. They also took the liberty of groping and petting him while he was down. When they let him up Yohio gave him a once over before he handed Koron back. "I told you they would go with that dress."
"Whatever. Just tell me how to get out of this nut house will you?"
"You want to leave already? Well poo. The girls had their hopes on a slumber party and make overs. Since you did take out that pesky bitch I guess we'll let you have your way this time." he took Ruki by the hand and led him off the stage. "Alright sweet thing. All you need to do is follow the golden glitter path all the way to the end. It'll take you straight to the Wizard."
Yohio explained as he showed Ruki a shiny spiral path that presumably led out of the town. One side of the path was golden and the other was silver and they both seemed to lead the same direction. "So where does the silver path lead?" he asked.
"Baby doll, that goes to the old outhouses on the other side of town. Trust me you do not want to go there. Just stick to the golden glitter path and you'll be super. One last thing, gumdrop. Don't talk to anyone and don't take candy from strangers."
"There is something seriously wrong with you," Ruki muttered darkly as he set off. This was obviously some kind of nightmare.
"Buh bye now, sugar lips." Yohio said, blowing him a glittery kiss.
Ruki started to run, Koron barking as the basket he was in swung wildly. He had to get out of this insane asylum before the fangirls swarmed again or he caught the crazy that was running rampant. He ran as fast as he could and didn't slow down until he couldn't see the town behind him. He finally stopped to rest for a few minutes when he came to a garden of some kind. He sat down and let Koron out of the basket to do his business while taking a cigarette break. At least this stupid dress had pockets. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Koron started barking and he could hear somebody telling him to shut up. With the day he was having that person had better not lay a hand on his dog.
He crushed out the cigarette and got up to find his pissed sounding pooch. There was Koron barking at somebody stuck on a pole in the middle of the garden. As he got closer he noticed that it was Reita and he was held to pole with duct tape. He was wearing coveralls and a plaid shirt for some reason. This was getting ridiculous. "Reita, what are you doing up there?" Ruki asked.
"Are you talking to me?" the blonde asked him.
"Who else?"
"I'm the new scarecrow. The Bitch of the West put me here when she found out how much I hate vegetables. Now I have to protect them from being eaten by the rabbits."
"Um, okay. I'm not sure I want to know any more. Hang on and I'll see if I can get you down from there."
"Haha. Hang on. Sure, why not."
"I can leave you up there if you want to be a smart ass."
"Shutting up now."
Ruki looked around trying to find anything to cut through the duct tape with. The only thing around them were rows and rows of vegetables. Sighing he grabbed a wooden stake that was holding up a tomato plant. This better work because it was all he had. He walked around to the back of the pole and started on the tape holding his friends hands. He managed to get through that and started on his feet. Once the bassist was down he rubbed his wrists and ankles trying to get feeling back in them. He straightened his back out and rubbed his neck. It felt good to be down after being stuck to that pole for the last few weeks. "Thanks for getting me down. I thought the Bitch of the West was going to leave me up there forever. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come along."
"No problem. So, I'm supposed to go see some wizard to get the hell out of this place. Do you know if there's any other way out? Everybody here seems to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic if you know what I mean."
"Can I go with you? If the bitch finds out that I got down she's gonna be pissed. I don't want to think about what she'll do to me if she catches me again."
"Great. You're one of them. Fine you can come. Just keep the crazy to a minimum, got it."
Ruki grabbed up the basket and called Koron over to jump in it. With the Reita/Scarecrow following him he started off on the golden glitter path once again. He really wished he could just wake up from this nightmare and be back in his bed. They hadn't walked for long before a wooshing sound came from behind them. Ruki didn't want to look back and see what it was but couldn't stop himself. Un. Fucking. Believable. It looked like Miyavi, except it was only half as tall as Ruki himself. It was also had wings and a really bushy squirrel tail. It flew towards them, screaming at the top of it's lungs. "What the hell?" Ruki asked as the thing tried to grab the basket from him.
"It's the bitch's flying squirrel. She sends him out to spy for her. He must have seen that I wasn't in the vegetable garden and come to find me. What are we going to do?"
"How should I know? I'm not from around here. Don't you have any ideas?"
"No. The bitch took my brain away when she made me a scarecrow."
"That explains a lot. Hold this basket and don't let the squirrel near it. If he gets my dog you won't like what I'll do to you."
Ruki handed the basket to Reita and studied the Miyavi squirrel as it came back for another pass. It dived at Reita, trying to get the basket again. Ruki grabbed it by the tail and pulled. As it turned on him to attack he spun it around by its tail and threw it into a nearby tree. "Youz not play fair," pouted the squirrel.
"Riiiight. A squirrel that can fly is accusing me of not playing fair." Ruki said, dripping sarcasm.
"Youz pulled on my fluffy wuffy tail. Iz no like it when youz do that."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Youz not very nice."
"You tried to steal my dog. That's not very nice."
"But Iz lovey dovey to little doggies. Theyz so cuddly wuddly and squishy warm."
"Get your own dog then. Leave my Koron alone."
"The bitchy witchy no letz me haz a doggie. Iz no like her. She way meaner than youz are."
"You're on you own with the bitch. I've already landed a stage on one today and I don't have another stage handy."
"Why don't you come with us to see the wizard?" piped up Reita. "He would probably let you have a dog."
"Reallyz? Youz are going to seez the wizard? He maybe letz me haz a doggie for keepsies? Okey dokey. Iz go seez the wizard tooz."
"Great. We're off to..."
"Finish that line and I will hurt you, "Ruki growled at Reita.