Summary: What if season 3 ended differently? What if Marissa got on that plane and went to live with her dad? But what happens when she leaves with a huge secret. A year later she returns and must face the mistake of hiding everything. What happens when Ryan re-enters her life? Will she be able to tell him the truth about what she's brought back with her to Newport? And will he accept her? And the mistakes she's made?

---------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1: Dealing With The Truth

-------------------------------------------------------

At the Airport

Marissa was standing there just past security. She could still see Ryan standing there. Looking like he wasn't ready to let her go. And she wasn't ready to leave. She knew something was wrong. She thought she knew exactly what it was. And about 20 times she tried to turn around and run back into Ryan's arms. She just...couldn't. Maybe this was best for her. Leaving Ryan and everything else now. She knew though, in the back of her mind, that, that wasn't what was right. And if it was all true, what she thought was happening to her right now, she would just run to him and tell him the truth. And she knew he would be there for her. She just couldn't. Just smiled slightly at him, trying not to cry, and gave him one more wave, one last time. And then continued through the terminal. Marissa just sat by the gate of her plane, quiet, scared, and unsure of what was gonna happen in her life. She had just found out the biggest news of her life about 20 minutes before, and now it was becoming so real. She needed someone. Anyone. She picked up her cell phone and looked in her phonebook. She scrolled down and stopped when she saw

" RYAN'S CELL" and she just wanted so bad to click it and talk to him and tell him about what was going on. Cause the news she just got...was his news too. But instead she went down a little more to her best friend and hit her number. She was happy when she heard Summer on the other end.

" Coop! Hey, what's up? You've only been gone for like...an hour. Is everything alright?"

" Well...yes. And no."

" Coop. You sound upset. What's wrong?"

" It's just...nothing. I shouldn't have called you."

" It's okay."

" No. I shouldn't be calling you. I should be calling Ryan. I just...can't."

" Why not?"

" Cause he's not gonna be ready for it. And if I call him and tell him the truth...then I don't know if I can get on that plane and leave."

" Then...don't. What do you have to tell him? Is it that bad?"

" Kinda. Look, it's gonna change his life. And I don't want to do that to him when I have to get on that plane. His life has changed dramically since he's gotten to Newport. And that's all because of me. But now...with me leaving. Maybe he could finally have a normal life."

" He doesn't want a normal life. He loves you and he's not just gonna forget about you for a year and then have you come back and feel all that again. He's never gonna forget his first love and neither will you. So...what is it, Coop? It's okay."

" No. No, it's not. And it's not going to be. And my dad's gonna...I don't know if he'll even understand any of this when I get there and tell him." Marissa said sobbing by this point

" Marissa, come on, what is it? You can tell me."

" No. No, I can't. Cause if I tell you, then you'll just go and tell Ryan and that ruins all this."

" I won't tell Ryan anything. I promise."

" Or Seth? Who will tell Ryan?"

" Not Seth. Not anyone. So come on, tell me, Coop."

Marissa just sat there and started crying harder and harder.

" Okay. The truth is...there wasn't...nothing between me and Ryan lately."

" Obviously. I knew it. Well, what is it?"

" Well, Ryan and I...kinda...slept together. Again."

" Oh my god. When?"

" After the Berkeley thing. And it was a mistake. A big mistake. And I can't take that back now."

" I'm sure it wasn't a mistake. But it's a big surprise. So...what's wrong now? Did you do it again? And now you can't leave him?"

" No, Sum. It was almost 2 months ago now." She pauses for a few minutes. " And... I didn't want to deal with this or even think it could be possible. And that's why I've just tried to avoid it up till now. But...I can't anymore. I had to deal with truth today. Especially when I saw Ryan standing there in the airport. Just...staring. And...I know it probably broke his heart today. So...after that I had to find out if it was true. And...I did."

" What did you find out exactly?"

" Sum, I'm...I'm...I'm Pregnant." She told Summer crying as she said it. After a few minutes of silence on the phone...she spoke again." Summer? Sum, you there?"

" Yeah. Wow, Coop. Are you alright?"

" Yeah. I'm fine. Just...a little...scared."

" Yeah. I would be too. Coop...you have to tell Ryan."

" I can't. Not now. I mean, I'm leaving. And it would just complicate things even more."

" So, what, you're never gonna tell him?"

" I don't know. Maybe I will. Maybe not. Just let him move on. And forget it all. If I told him now...I know what he'd do?"

" Follow you?"

" Exactly. And...he needs to go to college. And be the guy I know he is. He's spent his whole life dealing with drama and not being able to be who he needs to be. So...now he can be. But...without me. I can't have him come after me. Not now. So...maybe when or if...I come back...I'll tell him the truth. But for now...no. Can I trust you not to say anything? Please, Sum."

Summer pause for a few seconds and then replied to her friend. " Okay. Fine. But...you do know that you eventually have to. It wouldn't be fair to Ryan not to know he has a child out there and it's not fair for a child not knowing about it's father. But...I'll keep it to myself."

" Thanks, Summer."

Just then Seth and Ryan come into Summer's room.

" Hey, Sum!" Seth says as he enters the room

On the phone to Marissa

" Hey, Cohen and Ryan are here. I gotta go."

" Yeah. Me too."

" Call me later, okay?"

" Yeah. I will. And promise?"

" I promise. Talk to you later."

" Bye."

" Bye."

Marissa hung up the with tears rolling down her face. Just then they called boarding for her plane. She got up and walked on to the plane. And knew that nothing would ever be the same again in Newport. And...she also knew there could be the possibility ...that Ryan could never forgive her for this. And she had to live with that. This was the beginning of a long journey for Marissa Cooper.