Final Fantasy X – The Fall of Spira
Chapter 1 – Back to the Future! ™
Goal!
The other team exchanged hi-fives.
Tidus: You all suck! Even Chuck Norris could even play better than you!
Chuck Norris: But I am playing.
Tidus: And you still suck! Alright, that's it; I'll do a suicide kick.
Chuck: But what if you die?
Tidus: Well it's better than being with butt wipes like you guys! Toss it up and I'll handle the rest. (Swims away)
Chuck: (…) My mom doesn't think I'm a butt wipe.
Somewhere else…
Auron: Another night. Alone. Why didn't I ever get a girlfriend? (Drinks booze) All that I have is me, my sword, and my jug of eternal rum. I'm feeling a little…thirsty.
Auron headed towards town.
Off in the distance, an enormous plasma creature rose from the distance shore. Its form absorbed all the water and grew bigger.
In five minutes, it collected enough water and assumed the form of a sea god. From its hands erupted fireballs, which it launched at the city.
Auron: How original. Always have to be fireballs. Can't it be lasers? Or like lightning? That'd be flashier and entertain me a little more. (Drinks booze)
Back at the Blitzball stadium...
The crowd was stunned as the ball swirled past all the players, out of the blitzsphere and into the air. Tidus emerged from the water.
Tidus: Double-Reversal Front Flip 1080 Degree Aerial Bicycle Kick!
As Tidus began to execute his maneuver, a big heaping fireball struck Tidus, sending him into the stadium wall. Pieces of debris started to fly everywhere as the building began to collapse.
Crowd: Ooh. Ahh.
Tidus: Crap…that hurt…
Tidus quickly escaped the collapsing building.
Tidus: I have to get to safety.
The plasma creature shot out pods, which scattered through out the city, one in front of Tidus. Small, blue, plant creatures which spawned from the pod slowly crept toward him.
Tidus: Not good. And nothing to protect me.
Auron: That's why I'm here.
Tidus: Auron!
Auron: A gift from Jecht.
Tidus: From my old man?
Auron: (Pulls out big, long, sword with awesome fiery emblem on the side. The sword is shiny and the hilt is as smooth as a feather) Yes, a gift.
Auron: (Tosses Tidus a small, odd-shaped sword) There you go.
Tidus: Damn you suck. Burn in--
The creatures slowly crept closer.
Tidus hacked at the creatures.
Tidus: Auron! Where are you?
Auron: (Mumbling) Right here. (Hiccup) Did I mention that I'm a drunken alcoholic?
Tidus: You were just sober a minute ago! How do you get drunk in 5 seconds?
Auron: You just drink some of this stuff. (Tosses Tidus his jug)
Tidus: (Getting hit in the head with the jug) Owww!
Tidus was knocked out.
Auron: Well, well, well, leaving me alone against the monsters. Time to ditch! (…) But I mayyyy never get this chance ever again. (Takes all of Tidus's stuff)
Tidus: (Waking up) Hey!
Auron: Did you have a nice nap?
Tidus: No, now give me back my stuff!
Auron: No! You won't need it where you're going.
The plasma monster eats Tidus.
Auron: See? Now how you going to use…2,517 gil in the belly of Sin? You can't! So ha! Ha! Ha. I'm all lonely again.
To be continued...