Okay, well this is a one-shot fanfic I published, but I want your opinion.
I was at a waterpark.
Okay, water parks aren't really our thing, considering the freaking wings on our back. To top it all off Bird back bones + swimsuits = disaster! But my mom thought it would be a fun vacation. Pfft..yeah.
Nudge, Angel, Gazzy and Iggy were playing in the water well me and Fang were trying to avoid all eyes. Considering the Fang dissapearing thing, he was winning.

"Max!" Nudge yelled. "Let's have a race down the slides!"

"Not now Nudge," I responded.

"Oh! Are you still afraid of slides?" She blurted out, her eyes getting rid as she said it. Fang raised his eyes at me.

"Shut up," I mumbled, avoiding his curious eyes. Gazzy and Iggy slapped high-fives (which is weird considering the fact that Iggy is BLIND and he seems to never miss a high-five). Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows. I walked over to them.

"What are you two up to?" I asked suspiciously. Gazzy shot his oh-so-obvious innocent eyes at me.

"We are about to set the awesomest bomb ever!" He shouted. Eyes turned his way. There's my Gazzy for ya, he can make a bomb out of anything. Put him in a room with a tissue and a battery, and wait 3 seconds.

"We are at a waterpark, so NO bombs," I ordered. His eyes lit up. "And no toxic fumes," He and Iggy grunted. The thought of Gazzy's outbursts gave me the chills.
Angel came running up to me.

"What is it, sweetie?" I asked.

"Max! Can I have an ice cream cone?" She asked using her sweet, innocent little girl voice.

"No, we don't have any money!" I said. She frowned and let out a grunt and turned around, arms crossed.

"Max!" Nudge shouted. She was on the top of the slide, ready to go down. She waved at me. "This is going to be awesome! You should have come with me even though you are afraid!" Now all eyes were on me. My face went red with embarrasment. I turned over to Angel who was getting passed an ice cream cone by an old woman.

"ANGEL! Get your butt over here!" I yelled. She skipped over.

"What?" She asked.

"No mind reading powers!" I ordered.

"But I really wanted ice cream!" She defended. I moaned. So much for not getting noticed.

"This is a waterpark, you can't control peoples minds!"

"But I was really hungry!"

Suddenly a loud toot was heard and an intoxicating smell covered the air. I covered my nose.
"GAZZY!"

"I swear that wasn't on purpose!" He said. People started coughing all around. I could hear Nudge screaming from the slide.

"That's it we're out," I said, exiting out of the place. The flock followed periods of silence we broke off our wings and began to fly away.

Nudge spoke up, "Can we go again?"
Okay, so I'm no James Patterson, but it would be nice if you could cut me some slack, ok? I'm used to 3rd POV on my stories and taking on sarcastic Max in first person, it was a bit of a challenge.