Cruel to be Kind
by: ginchy-amanda

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You say you've got to be...
Cruel to be kind in the right measure
Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you
Baby, got to be cruel, you got to be cruel to be kind…

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9 ABY

In the dim glow still cast from the search light, Luke Skywalker stretched in his prone position on the ground, and suddenly sat upright, looking out into the darkness beyond the pool of light. His eyes were wide, probably acclimating himself to his surroundings, but Mara Jade knew that without the Force he could virtually see nothing through the thick overgrowth of trees, and didn't worry about him trying to escape. She itched to run a finger over the blaster in her lap, but didn't, confident in its heavy weight against her leg and in her ability to blast Skywalker into his precious Force if he so much as moved towards the shelter of the forest.

Spending the night with Skywalker was not something she'd ever thought of doing. It galled her to have to depend on him, and she wished she could go ahead and shoot him, and be done with it. She could leave his body here in the woods and never think twice about it, but apparently these woods were not to be the scene of his death. But soon…

As she kept an eye on him, Mara trailed her fingers through the survival kit until the familiar shape of a ration bar met her fingertips. She wasn't hungry, but the stim-pills she had taken earlier hadn't sat well on her empty stomach, and she would need an extra dose of energy to keep up with her refreshed prisoner once daylight broke. Plucking it out and pulling it open, the crinkle of the wrapper cut loudly even against the chorus of surrounding night creatures just beginning to settle in for the morning. Almost imperceptibly, even through the dim light, Mara saw Skywalker's head move in reaction to the sound.

Her lips curved, as malicious delight quivered through her belly. Let him starve.

Enjoying his discomfort, Mara took her time opening her ration, over-exaggerating the process so that the small wrapper suddenly sounded like five or more bars being opened. She flickered her eyes up quickly and saw that he wasn't looking at her, but she remembered his words from earlier, about missing dinner. Just making small talk, she was sure, but after so much time without food, even a Jedi was bound to be hungry.

She bit into the bar without a grimace; taste wasn't what she was looking for. And though she didn't think she was hungry, her body apparently disagreed and she consumed most of the bar in a few bites, quickly feeling more awake and ready to get moving. Down to her last bite, Mara glanced once more at Skywalker, still sitting exactly where he had been the last time she looked. She sighed. He wouldn't be any good to her if he couldn't make it through the forest, no matter how much she would like to cause him any amount of discomfort or pain. How many nights had she been hungry, without food or shelter, after he had stolen her life from her?

And now, she needed him, if only for awhile longer. But that didn't mean she had to make things easy on him.

Picking another ration from the box, she again manipulated the wrapper, watching for his head to jerk in recognition. When it didn't, she frowned and narrowed her eyes. Taking aim, she lifted the ration, and lined it up with his profile, determined to provoke her own reaction.

She threw it, feeling the jerk of her upper arm muscles, smirking when it hit the surprised Jedi right between the eyes.

"Mara--" his voice cracked from disuse and surprise.

"Shut up!" she said. "Eat that, and let's go. I don't need you lagging."

"Okay… Thank…" he began.

"Shut up or I'll cram that ration down your throat myself."

Obediently, Skywalker shut up. And ate.

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19 ABY

Mara watched as Luke shifted in the bedroll and reached out a sweeping arm, no doubt looking for her with his wandering fingers. She smiled into her cup of caf and watched as he turned over, his awakening mind clasping onto her Force-sense. His fingers darted out again, this time towards her bare toes, just skimming the ground from where she sat in one of the collapsible chairs they had brought along. His fingers crept along the ground, almost reaching his goal before Mara laughed and tucked her feet and legs safely up into the chair with her.

"What are you doing up so early?" he asked, voice still rough with sleep as he stretched full bodied to work out the kinks from sleeping.

"Enjoying my caf," Mara answered, watching as his eyes fluttered closed again. It was true, she was up early, but the sounds of the creatures on Garqi had kept her awake, even after they had settled down to sleep, and Mara found it a rare pleasure just to watch her fiancé, while she sipped her drink. He seemed to rarely move in his slumber, which surprised her, but then, it could be that he was just too tired to move. Mara grinned into her drink this time, closing her eyes to savor the moment of complete happiness that was washing over her. How rare moments like these had been in her life, but now they seemed to be happening far more frequently. Who could have ever known that the answer to her happiness would lie in her path to becoming a Jedi and Luke Skywalker's wife?

For certainly, she had never felt so content to just sit, to listen to the morning sounds outside their tent, and to watch her lover sleep. The serenity of the Force wrapped around her with a comfortable weight, something she could feel, and touch, and even see, on her own face when she looked into the mirror, and on Luke's face as he looked at her. She was never alone, now with the Force as her true ally, and with Luke's presence so entwined with her own. With each touch of their skin, their was an awareness, a tingle that rushed between them, but when they touched through the Force, the spark that was lit was indescribable, more than a tingle, a rush of feeling more intense than anything she had ever felt in her life.

A slight rumble from Luke's stomach caught her attention from her roving thoughts, and she sat her caf cup down. Keeping an eye on him, she rooted around in their rations container, trying to find something suitable for breakfast. Instant caf was the only thing she felt capable of preparing so early in the morning, and luckily they had brought along a number of ready to eat foods. Pulling a muffin from the container, she bit into it, noticing blue eyes now open and trained on her and her breakfast.

"Good morning, again," she said, after swallowing her bite.

"Mornin'." He grinned. "What are you eating?"

"Something far better than those dustcrepes and nausages you brought along," she answered, before taking another bite.

He didn't respond and she looked back at him to see that he was taking a sip of her caf.

"You know, I could get you one of your own," she offered dryly.

"Yours tastes better." He winked at her. "Pre-sweetened."

She rolled her eyes, knowing that he knew she didn't put any sweetener into her caf. "Very smooth, Farmboy."

"I try," he said, moving closer to her. "Now, about that muffin…"

"What about it?" Mara asked, breaking off a piece and feeding it to herself slowly.

"I just wondered if I could have a taste," he said, pushing himself to his knees in front of her, his hands resting on her thighs.

"I don't know…" she pretended to think it over, all the while breaking off a larger piece of the muffin. "I mean, I guess I should feed you. I don't need you lagging behind today… or tonight…"

"I never lag," Luke bragged, leaning in as she brought the morning treat to his lips and fed it to him.

Mara rolled her eyes again, this time playfully at his bravado. "Why don't you shut up and kiss me good mor--"

She never finished her command as he shut her up, pressing his lips firmly to hers.

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9 ABY

"Uh, Mara…"

"Shut-up."

For more than an hour, he was quiet, walking steadily. Sweat dripped down his arms, overburdened by the weight of his droid on his back. Sentimental fool. She should force him to get rid of it.

The wind shifted then, providing a cool breeze over the sheen of sweat on her own body. The scent of the forest around her changed momentarily, sharper. Liquid.

"Up ahead," she barked to Skywalker. "There's water." Even as they kept moving, she began to hear a rush of water from the source, a river.

They lumbered towards it, Skywalker breaking free of his droid with a sigh.

"We're not staying long. Do what you need to, and let's get going." Mara dropped down next to the stream with the survival kit, looking for an instrument to test the safety of the water. Placing it within the stream, she found it was drinkable. Skywalker apparently had no such reservations and had already cupped large amounts of it in his hands and was drinking, water running over his chin to mix with the sweat on his neck.

Getting her own drink, she turned to glare at Skywalker when he spoke her name again. "What?" he asked sharply.

"I uh… well, I need to…"

This was the man who brought down the Empire? She rolled her eyes and stood. Toying with the idea of forcing the Jedi to humiliate himself in front of her, she used her blaster to motion towards a tree. "You try and run, I'll be on you in a second."

He nodded, and went behind the tree. Mara shook her head in disgust. One more day, and she could wipe the galaxy of the sniveling idiot. But, still, she needed him, if only for that one day.

He came out from the tree, and went directly to the water, placing his hands in it as if to wash them. Mara backed in behind her own tree, ears perked to listen to Skywalker by the water's edge. Finishing, she stood and walked out, looking at the Jedi, hands still in the water. He'd rolled his sleeves up and was splashing the water onto his arms, and then as she watched, he cupped more and splashed it on his face.

He wasn't looking at her, on his knees with his hands angled down, towards the water. Of its own accord, her hand raised and she found him in her blaster sites. It would be so easy… the force of the impact would push him face first into the water, almost certainly, and if she placed the blaster on stun, he could very well drown in the river that he seemed to be taking such delight in.

Moving quickly towards him, before she could change her mind and blast, Mara angled to stick the blaster in his back, but he stood and turned and the muzzle of the weapon dug into his stomach instead.

To his credit, his breath didn't alter, and for a moment, he just looked at her, water dripping down his face and arms.

"This isn't time for a bath, Jedi. Get moving."

A rustle in the brush behind them stopped Mara in her tracks, and she noticed that Skywalker had stiffened in response as well. A warning beep from the droid came just as a flash of white armor could be seen through the dense bush, and Mara reacted, pushing the butt of her blaster into Skywalker's side. "Into the water! We're crossing."

The Jedi craned his neck backwards. "Troopers?" he guessed correctly. Mara pressed harder with the blaster. "Move!" She pushed and he moved forward into the water.

"I'm not really…"

"Shut-up and cross!" Mara ordered, wading into the water, the wet chill soaking through her clothing. It was only a matter of time before they were spotted. The water was deeper than she expected and she began to swim, kicking hard to counter the weight of the survival kit and her clothing. The blaster, she held out of the wave as well as she could, water sloshing into her nose and mouth as she checked on Skywalker's progress.

He was weakly treading water, the weight of the travois he'd brought with him pressing him further into the green waves of water. "Move it, Skywalker!" she demanded, over the rush of water, pointing her blaster in his direction. "Get rid of that kriffing travois. We'll have to leave the droid!"

Skywalker didn't answer, struggling against the current, his arms futile in their attempt to counter the weight of his boots and clothing to allow him to move. He obviously wasn't a strong swimmer, and it was taking far too long for them to cross. The droid tootled around him relentlessly, trying to urge him to shore. His face disappeared under the foam, and for a moment, she considered leaving him to drown.

But she wasn't through with him. Glancing to the shore, she took aim and threw her weapon, hoping against hope that it would land on solid ground. Grasping Skywalker's arm, she began to propel them to shore, his legs kicking in behind to add extra speed to their escape. Blaster shots flew over their head as they reached the opposite bank, Mara ducking and rolling, until she reached her own blaster.

"Into the woods!"

Waterlogged, and panting, hair plastered to his head, Skywalker managed to drag himself and the travois into the deep brush. Mara took a deep breath, and looked at her captive, loading the droid back up. "Move," she said after a long moment, falling in behind him with her blaster.

"Guess we had a bath after all," he mumbled.

Rage rose up in her throat and choked her, and before she could stop herself, Mara shot her blaster into the ground at his feet, making him jump and droid clatter about on the travois.

But he got her wordless message and shut-up.

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19 ABY

"The river should be just ahead," Luke said, shifting his personal-pod boat higher to avoid a tangle of tree vines.

"Finally," Mara mumbled, struggling to maneuver her own craft through the trees.

"I thought this was your idea," Luke laughed, reaching the break in the trees and stepping out onto the shores of the Vlassy River.

"Yes, well…" Mara didn't argue the point. Reaching the dock, she lowered the craft and launched it, easily paddling it through the rushing water. She looked back and saw that Luke had launched his as well, and was learning the ins and outs of the long paddle quickly.

"All right, Luke?" she called back to him, worried that he would be unable to keep up. He'd probably never been in a boat for recreation before, and all of her experiences with him and water weren't exactly pleasant, even if the last experience had turned out extremely well for the both of them.

"Yeah!" he called back, increasing his speed to catch up with her. They paddled quietly down the river, enjoying the solitude and the sheer abundance of life pulsing through the Force.

Luke seemed fascinated with the flow of the water around him, and would stop paddling every few moments to dip his hand into the water.

Mara shook her head, squashing a smile as she watched him watch the water slide between his fingers. This boat trip was a bit lazy for her tastes. Heaving the paddle into the water, she kicked up a great splash of water, right into Luke's face.

"What the--Mara!" he yelled, looking up as water rushed down his face, the fringe of his hair plastered to his forehead.

She grinned and paddled away, energetically moving through the water, mischief and happiness bubbling inside her as she went. Luke's own presence was quickly darting ever and ever closer, and he only seemed amused by her impetuosity, if surprised.

She paddled furiously down the river, stopping only when Luke called out to her.

"Mara, wait! I think I'm stuck!"

Without thinking, she turned. "Stuck, Skywalker, what--" The water that splashed into her face caught her totally by surprise. That Luke Skywalker would dare to stoop so low…

Oh, now, this was war.

With a fierce cry, she managed to pivot her craft and splash more water at him, but he was ready, paddling quickly past her and avoiding the spray completely. Swiftly, he moved down the river, Mara chasing after him, sending one spray of water after the next, but unable to catch him again. As they turned to move back upstream, she caught him with a spectacular wave right across the head and chest, only to have him move in behind her and hit her in the back of the head with the next splash.

Finally, they reached the dock, and got back to shore, Mara dragging her pod up first. Luke came up next, and when his back was turned, fishing the pod out of the water, Mara looked at the water bottle she had been drinking from and smiled deviously. Squashing the flutter in her Force sense, she crept behind him and upturned the bottle on his head.

"Mara!" He whipped around, water droplets flying, catching her wrist and pulling her close for a hard kiss. "You always have to win, don't you?"

She ran a finger down his damp jaw line. "Maybe I just like looking at you all wet…"

"Hmmm…" he took in the sight of her, hair damp and hanging. "This reminds me of our first kiss. What is it with us and nearly drowning?"

"Well, you've got to get a bath in sometime, desert-boy." Mara laughed, hoisting her craft and starting towards the tree line before turning back to him, still standing, dripping, on the dock. "Let's get moving, Skywalker. After all, we have to get our wet clothing off…" She winked.

Luke scrambled to pick up his pod and got moving.

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9 ABY

They marched on for hours, until Mara was sure they hadn't been followed. After almost two full days of travel, they were deep into the forest, the canopy of trees blocking almost all light, day or night. Needle leaves crunched under their feet, and Mara could tell the Jedi was tired, but didn't call for a halt. The stim-pills she'd taken had her jump-started, and she was ready to move on, further, faster, even on her twisted ankle. But eventually, Skywalker stopped.

"I'm sorry," he panted out. "I… I need to rest."

When she didn't object, he unhooked the travois and very nearly collapsed beside it. "We can, we can move on… I just need to sleep for a minute," he said, voice thin, wispy.

He didn't move again, sleep overtaking him almost instantly. Mara sat, fiddling with the light on the survival kit, and looked away from him, disgusted with herself for not finishing him off. He'd murdered her Master, with little thought to him or any under his power, throwing the galaxy into chaos. This simple man, slight of frame, fair-haired, had somehow brought about utter destruction to an Empire that she still served faithfully.

Bile rose in her throat, again wondering what her Master would think of her being so close and not having avenged him yet. She swallowed hard, closing her eyes against the image of the man who lay so trustingly on the ground before her.

It felt good to close her eyes, yet she sharpened her other senses, listening for the elusive sounds of predators or stormtroopers nearby. Her eyes flashed open at the rustle of leaves in the canopy above her, the sound almost a magnified whisper of the brush of her Master's cloak over the polished floors of the Palace.

She jerked then, realizing her eyes weren't open, and that she must be falling asleep. Her eyes darted around her, into the darkness outside the light, but all that could been seen was Skywalker, sleeping, and the droid scanning the area for danger. Mara calmed her breathing, and leaned back against the tree once more. Her heart raced, the effect of the pills dulling under the strain of staying awake for so long, under harsh conditions.

Her muscles tensed, and it felt as if she should be doing something, as if something were forgotten. Skywalker was right there, and she couldn't do anything about it, couldn't kill him yet. Her eyes fell closed again, despair at her failure consuming her until she gasped from the weight of it in her chest. She felt shaky for a moment, a vision of Skywalker, dripping wet with his hair plastered to his head flickering across her eyelids. She snapped her eyes opened, hoping to shake off the disturbing vision. But even as they closed again, it was still there, Skywalker as she had seen him earlier, dripping wet, and his droid, too, only they seemed darker, mere shapes without ambient light. Turning, as if looking straight at her, Skywalker said, "Don't give up yet."

Mara gasped, and opened her eyes, scrambling up from her spot on the ground. She clutched the tree at her back for a moment, letting go hastily when she noticed the droid turned in her direction. Somehow, it was morning, but she didn't feel rested and wasn't sure if she had slept. Skywalker lay still, in the same position he'd been in the night before. Glancing at the path they'd take when they got moving, Mara noticed masses of vines blocking their way. Yet another obstacle to slow them down. Without looking, she nudged the edge of her boot hard into Skywalker's ribs.

He woke instantly. "I hope you slept well," she bit out. "Because the next time you go to sleep, I can't promise you'll wake up," she said, gathering up the survival kit. Looking down at him, she thought she saw him flinch, and narrowed her eyes. Was the vaunted Jedi showing weakness? But just as quickly as she thought she saw his muscles clench, they were smooth again, as he stretched and got up from the forest floor.

"Good morning to you," he said.

Mara just grunted, gesturing forward with her weapon. Skywalker moved.

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19 ABY

Luke snuffled in his sleep, scooting closer, and Mara's eyes opened looking out into the darkness surrounding her. She cast out with the Force, finding nothing more than nocturnal creatures around their tent, small without the intent to harm. Luke's breath was warm on her neck, his arm heavy on her hip. She was surprised at herself, for if she had thought about it, she would have thought that she wouldn't be the type to be held, that she wouldn't want to sleep wrapped up in a lover's embrace.

But it was nice, to be so close to him, to know that even in his sleep he held her close. There was still an air of unreality to their entire relationship, a feeling that she may wake up one morning to find him still merely a friend, or worse, an enemy, and that she may not even remember what she had lost.

Shifting, she turned in his embrace, moving until her head nestled just below his. His warm scent lulled her, and she kissed his neck, absently running her fingers over the arm still embracing her. Inside their cozy tent, she could almost believe they were the only two beings in the galaxy, far away from any of the stresses of their daily lives.

His hand clenched on her hip, and she looked up to find his eyes open.

"Did I wake you?" she whispered, the shroud of darkness preventing her from speaking too loudly.

He smiled, and brought his arm up, massaging her neck and splaying his fingers through her hair. She shivered, and his smile grew wider. "I'm not sure, just… woke up."

"Hmmm…" She lay content in his grasp as he massaged his hand through her hair.

"What are you doing awake?" he asked after a long moment, hiding a yawn in her neck.

"Waiting for you to wake up and play with me," she teased, pinching his side.

He chuckled and squirmed against her, dipping his head to steal a kiss. Mara brushed her lips against his, but refused to take the kiss any further, smiling as he grew frustrated.

"What?" he asked. "Do I need a mint?"

The laugh that bubbled up out of Mara escaped her attempts to hold it in, and she began to laugh out loud in the quiet of their small tent.

Laying in Luke Skywalker's arms, laughing and loving? How did she get here?

"No," she finally answered, stealing a swift kiss from him and soothing his worries. "You don't need a mint. I just… I'm happy, Luke."

"Good," he said, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Good…"

He leaned in for another kiss, and Mara opened her mouth to him this time, moaning against his lips as it grew wetter, hotter. His hand traced down her back and pulled her close as he could, their bond strengthening around them until all they could each feel the other, bright and pulsing in-sync with one another.

Mara trailed her lips trailed down his throat before smiling up at him, tracing her fingers over his broad shoulders. "You know, I hope you slept well," she said, pressing against him. "Because I can promise you'll not be getting any more sleep tonight…" She trailed a hand down his chest and grinned up at him. "What are you waiting for? Get moving, Skywalker…"

Luke grinned down at her, and did as he was told. He got moving.

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Disclaimer: "Cruel to be Kind" is a great song by Nick Lowe. "Star Wars" and all characters belong to George Lucas.