TITLE: Lemon For The Lemon Chicken Guy
AUTHOR: Vid Z.
TIMELINE: after the ep "48 hours", McKay is visiting the SGC
WARNING: McKay bashing (but, seriously, who does even like the jerk?), minor character death
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show Stargate: SG-1 are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: this fic is not to be taken seriously. There's no way that Sam would ever do this (but I'm sure she was tempted many times), but, let's face it, McKay treated Sam in that ep and every other ep badly.
SUMMARY: a post ep for "48 hours". WARNING: minor character death
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Dr. Rodney McKay sat down at a lone table in the SGC canteen.
The frighteningly arrogant and full-of-himself man looked around, to see if anyone was observing him.
He smiled to himself, pleased, when he noticed a couple of female SGC members looking at him, knowing that they were barely breathing from how his awesome good looks were making their hearts flutter and his overwhelming intelligence was weakening their knees and turning their already-pitiful brains into puddle.
In truth, the three, very intelligent, women were looking at the pitiful little man in disgust, not being able to believe that this little bird dropping had insulted one of their own and then had the gall to try a pick up line on her.
As the good Doctor was too much of a celebrity and important to the sole survival of the planet, he didn't get his food by himself, but a member of the canteen staff had to bring it to his table.
His chocolate cake being delivered by a glare that he missed, Rodney tucked into the confection.
He stopped and tried to examine the taste. A little sour, but not unpleasant.
He resumed his refined style of eating, which in reality looked quite absurd, and the slice of cake was disappearing quickly.
He moaned in delight, eating with gusto, while occasionally scratching an itch that was becoming increasingly persistant.
Suddenly he bit into something that was not the cake and, frowning, he pulled the object out of his mouth. Just as he was about to complain to the cook he noticed something written on the small piece of paper.
Dr McKay,
I hope you enjoyed your cake, Doctor, I myself loved it. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that the taste you've no doubt noticed is from the lemons, with which it had been liberally permeated. Just a little present from every woman on this planet. Enjoy your last few seconds!
The dumb blonde
P.S.: this message will fade away in 5 seconds
Rodney's eyes widened as his throat suddenly closed up from the sudden assault of an anaphylactic shock.
Members of the SGC were startled as suddenly the PA system came to life. "Medical team to the commissary, stat! Medical team to the commissary, stat!"
5 seconds later it came to life again, but this time with a different message. "Never mind. Just bring a body bag."
And the moral of the story? Never treat someone as badly like Rodney treated Sam and then have them know your biggest weakness.
THE END
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