Hey. Trying something new out. Inspired by Dark Cyradis' Tales of Dissidia. Oh and I only played IV, VII, VIII, IX, X and XII, so don't blame me for concentrating on some characters more than others…
Italics are for thoughts.
-Dissidified-
00
You'd think two opposite deities forever fighting, would be, well forever? Think again. Suddenly out of the blue of endless fighting there comes Chaos' grand idea to summon 10 (technically 11) villains to finally beat Cosmos. And she summons 10 (duh, well 11) heroes to add some Harmony to it.
While gathering heroes Cosmos didn't really ask their opinion, well with a few exceptions.
VIII
What the… Somehow everything around me just disappeared and I don't feel like I'm in Balamb anymore… WHATEVER!
Squall cursed everything he could think of as he was dragged into Dissidia… Not that he actually cared?
"I don't?" – Squall wondered.
And he didn't. This world liked to see him cold and sociophobic just as he was before anything happened to him.
I thought I sort of changed my attitude towards stuff…I also had this girlfriend and… lots of stuff junctioned to me and… Ah, whatever. Let's see where this light leads me to.
I
There's a light shining in front of me. And I sense crystals are involved. I must follow it.
But first the Warrior of Light got this tremendous makeover taking him from Fighter McWarrior to way past the bishounen line.
III
I'm the Onion Kid… No wait – I'm Luneth!
But looking at his hair he realized he was not…
Oh, no wait. I'm the Onion Knight…
"Hey! I was happier having a name! And I was more handsome! Now I'm just cute…"
"Fine you can keep being Luneth." – sounded Cosmos soft voice.
"Hooray!"
"But only as a 'Other Form'." – said Cosmos once more.
"Hoo… What?"
"It's an alternate costume…" – sighed the Goddess.
"I'm so not happy" – he sat down on the floor, displeased.
"Oh come on now, Onion Knight… I'll throw in a little treat for you if you agree…"
"Really? What's that?" – asked the kid.
"You'll get the best Seiyu of 2007 – Jun Fukuyama…"
II
Why do I always end up a little unknown? I mean I was the second to first. I was the first real character, as in with a name and story of sorts. Not just running around with a 'Warrior of Light' nametag. I was the first rebel, and how many times have the remade their protagonists into rebels… And all I get in the end is a PSP remake for the 20th anniversary…
"You could've at least invited me to a Kingdom Hearts spin-off or something" – complained the ever rebellious Firion.
Just as he said those words near him opened a door of light.
"Hell yeah!" – he jumped in without a second thought.
IV
I was a Dark Knight a long time ago… A really long time ago.
Now I'm a Paladin.
My attack don't sap into my soul.
I'm not bound to a dark shell of armor. Which breaks fear into peoples hearts.
I can finally be with the woman I love.
I can dish out way more damage than I did.
I'm a Paladin…
SO WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE THIS BLACK ARMOR AGAIN?
Which evil being did this to me?
V
"I hope I won't have to say this again. I'm Bartz." – said the young man to the light.
"But I'm looking for the hero Butz." – said Cosmos
"Hey listen… If you had a name like Butz and you were from Lix. Wouldn't people make fun of you? I mean like you even know what it sounds like?"
"Whatever… You get to be a dual-wielding badass where I'm gonna take you. You going or not?" – said Cosmos. She really had a short temper after bargaining with Onion Knight.
"Dual-wielding?" – Bartz didn't sound convinced, - "Just that? I'll go if you drop more goodies to that list."
"Such as?" – Cosmos knew where this was going to…
"Using Spellblade with Rapid Fire and Dual Wield" – said the boy.
"Very well" – said Cosmos, thinking to herself 'I'll put that all in one attack for short."
X
"Hey, Jecht!"
"I said call me dad!"
"Sure Jecht, but where are we going?" – said Tidus
"I dunno. Somewhere. And call me dad!" – said the King o'Blitz
"OK-OK, Jecht. So why are we going there?" – said Tidus crossing his hands behind his head.
"Sure beats hanging out in da Farplane…" – said Jecht while walking.
"I'm glad we're actually going together once in a while. I mean like some… Hey, you're not going drinking are you?"
"Nope. I'm going to… ah you know… Ah what the hell I'm going to drink! It's my right after all!" – said Jecht while laughing.
"Ah man, dad…"
So now he calls me 'dad'!
"And you know what! It's about time you started drinking too!"
"What?" – Tidus stopped in his tracks
"Ah come on! All the tough guys drink! Take me for example!" – said Jecht in his usual boastful tone.
"I'd rather not…" – Tidus tried saying that in a way where it would hurt Jecht's feeling the least.
But Jecht was still pissed, but showing off his newly found father-figure qualities he decided to not show it.
"Well then take Auron! He carried around a jug of the stuff and even used it in battle! How's that for tough!"
"OK. I'll try a bit… Wait up, what's that?"
IV
Hey, I'm back to being the Paladin! Whoa! Cecil Harvey is back!
IX
Zidane was sleeping in his king-bed. Life was good on the guy. Especially since he could recall his thief days. Now he had money, had the princess and he wasn't shy to enjoy those things to the fullest. So looking down upon him, Cosmos decided not to wake him up and send him with his bed.
VII
Big Sword, Spiky hair. Yeah it was Cloud Strife. The ever-ready hero.
"So what *yawn* is it this time? Spin-off, CGI or maybe a full remake?" – the hero was bored.
"A group of heroes needs your help" – said Cosmos
"Hope it's not some dumb fanfic…"
"I'm sure you'll adapt quickly" – replied the Goddess
"Yeah, yeah. But haven't I had enough? I've waved this Big Sword so many times, fought Sephiroth so many times, and stuff like that…"
"I guess I should erase your memories to make it more interesting for you…" – smirked Cosmos.
IV
So I'm the Dark Knight… again! WTF!
X
"Looks like a fork in the road…" – Jecht looked in both directions while flexing his neck.
"Yeah. And there's some kind of sign here…"
"Let dad handle this… Let's see 'If you're a blonde guy with a sense of virtue and a passionate wish to save the world and restoring balance and blah-blah-blah… go right.' Well this is definitely your department, son." – said Jecht holding back a laugh.
"Yeah, cause it says blonde right?" – said Tidus. Dying his brown hair has a 'I hate you Jecht' thing from childhood.
"No, cause only a cry-baby would have all those hippie shenanigans…" – laughed Jecht.
"Well I remember you sacrificing yourself to save the world, huh?" – said Tidus with a smug on his face.
"I was drunk when I decided to that, you know." – said Jecht.
"Oh yeah? Well the sign to the left is…" – Tidus leaned over his father's shoulder to see it, - "It says 'Turn left for the ultimate badass hang-out, drinks, chicks with minimum clothing and maximum cleavage'…"
"Well I guess I know where I'm going…" – said the older man…
IV
Dark Knight! Paladin! Dark Knight! Paladin! It ain't that bad switching these around… Imagine all the stuff I could pull with this…
Cecil Harvey is cooler than ever!
VI
Terra Branford had a nice bed, pure cotton pillow, silk sheets. Cosmos for a second considered to get some for her not-so-standing-out throne too. But she decided that if she didn't wake up Zidane she wouldn't wake Terra up either.
Terra felt a shook of the bed, and lazily opened one eye. Something wasn't right. She sat up in her bed and then it hit her.
Her bed wasn't in her room anymore but in the middle of some opened ground, she was surrounded by funnily dressed men of all sorts. But that's nothing compared to the fact that in her bed was lying a naked tailed individual drooling on her pillow.
And to top it off, Terra had a great bed, pillows and sheets, but she preferred to sleep naked herself.
VIII
OK! So what's this? Oh finally a clearing.
Squall stepped out of his portal into the open ground. And he saw a medieval knight with an overly-exaggerated horned helmet; a bandanna-wearing guy with enough weapons for a whole army; a kid in ridiculous red armor (must be from a carnival); a dark figure suddenly turning into a silver-haired bishounen and back into the dark figure and then again to the white version (weird); some plain unarmed guy; a guy dressed modernly (a sweater compared to those knights is unprotected superiority) with a oversized sword and equally lethal haircut; a guy with a sword made of water? And a bed with a girl (cute one at that) and a guy with a tail…
These guys are too bizarre even for a nightmare. What is this… Oh no… There's only one explanation for such cast.
"Time Compression DID happen!" - Squall's scream got him everyone's attention.
- - -
Chapter two will have Chaos gathering the baddies.
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