Don't Go Gentle Into That Goodnight

Author: Beth

Disclaimer: Yeah right...If I owned them, trust me, they would not be where they are now.

Summary: Sequel to Living On A Wing And A Prayer. This story picks up at the end of previous story. Life has put Harm and Mac in a precarious situation. What happens when the truth comes out?

AN: Here is the beginning of the last story. Sorry it took so long to start. Writer's block sucks. I will try to update regularly, but I can't promise anything, Here we go.

For a moment, neither of them could breathe. All they could do was stared at each other, as if the world stopped moving. So many thoughts raced through their minds. Their eyes contained so much emotion that both got lost in the depths. Minutes passed, and neither noticed that the doctor had left them to be alone. It was evident to him that this information came as a shock to them, and he figured they could use some time alone.

They would have found it funny if they actually spoke about the thoughts that were raging through their minds. Each was thinking the same exact thing. Each pictured a little piece of immortality containing the other's looks and their brains. Each was picturing a precious gift, a blessing neither thought would ever come. They both knew the extent of Mac's condition, and they both knew getting pregnant would be difficult. What they didn't expect was Mac getting pregnant so quickly. They had discussed using protection many times, but decided on not using any. They figured if it was meant to be, there wouldn't be anything stopping Mac from getting pregnant. Harm's silly grin brought Mac back to reality.

"Harm?"

"Yeah?"

"You still with me?"

"I think so, why?"

"You have the silliest expression on your face."

"I do?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. Just tell me what you were thinking about."

"I was thinking that I am going to be a daddy."

"So you are ok with this?"

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. I just thought you would be…"

Mac couldn't finish her sentence. She didn't know how to put into words how she thought Harm would take the news. Sure, they talked about kids, and they even agreed to try to have one, but she thought she would never be able to get pregnant. She assumed Harm felt the same way. She was also terrified. She was scared to her past. She had read in so many books that children often mimic their parents when they have kids. She didn't want that for her child. What if she kit him/her?! What if she abandoned him/her?! The fear was encompassing her entire being, chasing out the joy that should be there. Harm could see the fear in her eyes, and for the life of him, he didn't know where it came from. He always dreamed of having a family, and he always picked Mac as the mother of his children. He wanted to be the father he never had. He wanted to make sure his child would have the happiest childhood imaginable. He would be damned if his child suffered the way he and Mac did. He was sure he told Mac all these things and more when they talked about having kids. So why is she so scared? Harm came over and sat on the bed next to Mac. Grabbing her hand, he looked into her eyes.

"Sarah, please tell me what's wrong. Are you upset that you're pregnant?"

"Of course not! It's just…..I mean…..Damn it. This shouldn't be so difficult."

"You're starting to sound like me now."

That seemed to ease Mac's tension, and a small smile graced her worried faced.

"Very funny, flyboy."

"I thought so. Now will you tell me what this is all about?"

Taking a deep breath and fortifying herself, Mac found the words that were so illusive to her.

"Remember when we talked about having kids?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I thought this day would never happen."

"Neither did I."

"Harm…I'm scared."

"Scared? Of what?"

"Oh come on Harm. You know I haven't had the picture perfect childhood. My family was the poster family for dysfunction. My father was an alcoholic, and my mother abandoned us. They say children become their parents, and it looks like I'm already becoming my father."

Harm had a pretty good idea what was going on with Mac, but he didn't want to make any assumptions. This was too important to the both of them

"What do you mean?"

"Look at me, Harm. I'm an alcoholic like my father. I'm a marine like my father. I'm a…"

Mac never got a chance to finish her sentence because Harm raised a finger to her lips to silence her.

"Listen, Sarah. I am looking at you, and you know what I see? I see a beautiful woman who has overcome overwhelming adversity in her life. You are the most resilient person I know. Yes, you are an alcoholic and yes, you are a marine, but you are nothing like your father. You faced your problems, and you overcame them. You could never be like your father, because YOU wouldn't let that happen."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know the real you, Sarah. You show everyone that you are a tough as nails marine, but I have had the honor of seeing the woman behind the marine. You could never harm a child, especially ours."

Harm could see Mac fighting the tears, but Harm wouldn't let her fight them. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"I love you, Sarah. I always have, and I always will. You have given me the greatest present a man could ask for. You have given me a new way to fly. I never knew what happiness was until I met you, and now you have completed my heart and soul."

With those words, the dam broke, and Mac was sobbing into his chest. Harm Leaned into the bed and cradled her, rubbing her back, and speaking soothing words to her.

"That's it, baby. Let it out. I will be here to catch you. I always will."

Harm couldn't help the lone tear the traced a path down his cheek. He was scared, too, but now was not the time to discuss his fears. He had to be there for Mac. He would always be there for her. All Mac could do was cry. She never allowed herself the opportunity to cry. She always saw it as a sign of weakness, but this time was different. She knew Harm was right. Holding her emotions inside would destroy her, and she had another person to thing about. Her child. Hers and Harm's child. She wouldn't do that to their baby. So she just laid there and cried, letting all the fears and insecurities wash away with the tears and feeding off of Harm's strength. They remained like this for quite some time. Harm could tell when Mac was calming down. There was a little tension still present in her, but he knew that would always be there. Mac wiped her eyes and gently raised her gaze to Harm's eyes and locked. What she saw there almost moved her to tears a second time. Love. Pure and unconditional love. That was the only way she could think to describe what she saw there. Tracing the tear tracks on her face, Harm spoke.

"Feel better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"Anytime, Sarah. Anytime."

"I still don't know what we're going to do about all this. I mean, we're not exactly on McIntyre's favorite list."

"I'm not sure either, but I do know that with you by my side, everything will be just fine."

With that, Harm sank further down into the bed and pulled Mac down with him. Once they were comfortable, they closed their eyes and let sleep take them.

AN: Well there it is. Want more? Let me know. Now all you have to do is hit the lilac button and review. You know you want to. (evil grin)