Calm down, Kyle. I'm sure the kids here are nice, you'll make new friends in no time. I try to convince myself as I wipe the nonexistent dust off my jacket and pants. I don't know why my heart is beating like, a thousand miles per second. I should be used to being the new kid.

Yep. I've been to three schools by now, South Park Elementary would be the fourth. My family has been on the move ever since we left New Jersey years ago. Why? I'm not entirely sure, but mom told me she wanted Ike and I to grow up in a more peaceful environment. Yeah right, we've been prancing state by state, exposing me to all sorts of situations — which were mostly bad. So, not exactly peaceful, eh?

Anyway, I sure do hope Colorado would be enough to sate my mom's quest for peace. Though we only arrived here last Saturday, I like how quiet it's been here in South Park. Our neighbors were pretty nice, too! I'm already friends with their kid, or at least one of them, I couldn't really engage in conversation with their daughter. She was kind of scary.

Huh, now I wonder if the boy's gonna be my classmate. I did hear he was in 4th grade. A bit stupid how I didn't catch his name.

My train of thought is cut off by a command from inside the room, which I assume is from my soon-to-be teacher, "Alright, alright, settle down, kids!" He sounds tired, like he's been barking the same words every morning. He probably does, we're fourth graders after all, naturally loud and annoying to the grown-ups.

Or so they say. I don't really care anyway.

"Class, we have a new student today." With that statement, I breathe into my palm and check if my breath smells good. Oh why did I do that? It's not like they'll be that close to smell my breath. "I trust all of you to be in your best behaviors."

Yes. For my sake, too, please.

"Put your hand down, Eric. And no, taking a crap on the empty desk isn't exactly best behavior. Even for you."

I almost gag. What kind of fourth grader would go as far as to shit on someone else's desk? The kid must be a whole kind on his own, the I'm-extremely-insecure-so-I-have-to-be-extremely-insufferable-in-order-for-me-to-be-given-extreme-attention kind. Ugh, wouldn't wanna be friends with that dude.

"Kyle?"

Is it just me or have people been interrupting my thoughts a bit more lately?

"Kyle? Kyle Broflovski?"

See?!

Wait...

Oh gods, I've been so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice that it was time for my introduction.

So much for making new friends, they must all think I'm lame now.

As if affirming my thoughts, I hear a snicker from one of the students, "Nerd."

Fucker.

The whole class erupts with laughter and I stomp to the center of the room, making it clear that I wasn't happy with the insult. From the corner of my eye, I could see the teacher shake his head at the class. Hah, so much for expecting best behavior.

My classmates are silent now, all eyes and ears are focused on me, aching to find out what my first words to the class would be.

"I'm Kyle Broflovski," I start with a slightly icy tone that transitions to straight-up cold in my next statement, "and I am not a damn nerd."

The corners of my mouth twitch upward, feeling a bit smug from the look on their faces. Didn't expect something like that from the new kid, huh?

Well, that is until some fat kid yells, "Nerd!" Now the class is back to laughing again. What a bastard.

I clench my fists, trying to bite back a snide remark. I fail anyway as I shoot him the darkest glare I could manage. "At least I carry books, instead of the enormous amount of fat you seem to haul around!"

Everyone shuts up, except for the fatso, "Ay! I'm not fat, I'm big-boned!"

"Yeah, and you're not stupid, just missing a brain."

He's incredibly red now, the crimson shade of humiliation is clear on his face and I sorta feel bad for him — looking like an overfed clownfish with his eyes wide and his mouth opening and closing. How pathetic, he can't even think of a comeback.

I hear the teacher agree, "Well, Eric is brainless." The students reply to him with laughter, and this Eric kid starts muttering a string of profanities under his breath.

I laugh a sarcastic laugh as I walk up to the empty desk in front, my squinted eyes not leaving the fat kid. That is until the person beside me gives me a little nudge. I harden my glare at Eric one last time before turning to look at my seatmate.

It's him!

The world around me brightens at the familiar face. "Marsh!" I say a little bit too loud, as Mr. Garrison (as it was written on the board) and a few other heads whip around to look at us.

"Already making friends, huh, Kyle?" The teacher comments, "Just keep your voice down." It's painfully clear how tired he is, so I give him an apologetic look and shrug. Mr. Garrison turns back to the board and continues talking about various TV shows that I honestly don't give a crap about. Why would we even need that information?

I turn to Marsh, he's scratching his head and avoiding my eyes. "Please don't call me Marsh," he requests, "My name is Stan, Stanley Marsh." Now he meets my gaze, his hand extended towards me. "It's nice to see you here, Kyle."

My own chuckle reaches my ears, "Alright, Stan, I'm sorry I forgot to get your name yesterday." I take his hand. "It's nice to see you here, too."

The second we pull back, Stan praises me for putting Eric in his place, "Most have the guts to do so, dude, yet few have the patience and tolerance to get through it." He leans closer and motions for me to come forward, I do so and he whispers to my ears, "Cartman usually gives out after a retaliation or two, though. He's a high damage, low health kind of monster."

Stan's analogy is amusing yet I find myself agreeing to it, even if I didn't know Eric — uhh, Cartman, that well.

"So you wanna hang out with us later during recess?" I cock an eyebrow at the word us.

It better not be Cartman.

"Ah, I meant Kenny and I."

Good.

Stan points at the guy to my right and Kenny gives me a wave and a parka-muffled greeting. Not sure how I understood his words, I just did. "So you wanna hang out with us?" Stan repeats his offer.

Whoa.

This is great.

It's only first period yet I'm already making both enemies and friends! This tingling feeling inside me is the proof of my excitement towards the school year. South Park Elementary, you better not let me down.

I smile at Stan.

"Hell yeah, dude."

This is going to be one heck of a ride.

Recess time and, as promised, I'm spending it with my new friends, Stan and — wait, where's Kenny?

My eyes scan the playground in search of an orange hood. It wasn't too long till I found him, thanks to his parka making him stand out from the crowd, leaning against the school and talking to at least five girls. What a chick magnet.

"Don't worry, dude, Kenny's like that every day." I blink at Stan. How did he...? "Let's just continue playing."

And so we play, though the only thing we do is pass the ball to each other. Not really that thrilling of a game, considering how it hasn't been thrown past the school fence yet.

"Hey guys!"

I flinch at the voice. My hands catch the ball Stan threw towards me and I send it straight to the monster approaching us. "Go away, Cartman."

It hits him hard in the stomach.

"Nice one, dude!" Stan raises his hand for a high five. I jog the distance between us to give him the crispiest high five I got. By crispiest, the sound it made when our palms collided rang in our ears. A smile makes its way to my features and Stan mimics the expression.

Dude, I can already tell we're gonna be great friends.

"That hurt, you fucking bitch!"

Ah, I forgot about him.

"So we're allowed to cuss here, huh, fat boy?" My arms are crossed tightly in front of my chest. From beside me, I can feel Stan do the same.

"What?" Cartman gapes, eyes mocking me. "You're still scared of being caught cussing? I didn't expect you to be such a pussy, Kahl." He throws the ball he was hiding behind his large figure.

As expected, I catch it. "I'm not a pussy, Cartman." I pass the ball to Stan, who waves Kenny over. There is a bit of fear in Cartman's eyes as I make my way to him. My feet stop a few inches from his spot, and he is looking everywhere but my way. "I am not a fucking pussy." At each word, I drill my finger to his chest, making sure he knew I wasn't screwing around.

I am not going to be pushed around here. Not now, not ever.

Cartman is laughing, but his eyes betray him by showing raw fear. Maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh on—"Yeah? Well, I bet your mom is a bitch."—him.

Oh, it's on, fat boy.

My hands are itching to strangle the fatass to death, but I don't wanna be sent to the Principal's Office on my first day. Maybe another time, then. Instead, I grab his collar and pull his face close to mine, our noses almost touching. I could hear Kenny make a raunchy comment about my sexuality, but I ignore it, I have literally bigger things to deal with right now.

"Don't throw my mom into this, fatass." And I push him to the ground. "The Broflovski family is out of bounds, you fucking hear me?"

Cartman pulls himself up with difficulty and scampers away. "Fuck you, Kyle!" With that and a middle finger, he's out of sight.

I didn't notice the small crowd until the murmurs reach my ears.

"Wow, never knew Cartman was such a loser."

"The new kid's pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah, and he's got a hot ass!"

Someone was staring at my ass? What the fuck...

I turn to face my two new friends. Stan is looking at me with a pair of worried eyes. "Dude, you okay?" I give him a reassuring smile and his tense posture loosens up. "You sure showed Cartman not to fuck with you."

"Yeah, but for a second there I thought you were gonna fuck him right in front of everybody!" Kenny blurts out, his eyes curved into happy crescents.

Stan punches him in the shoulder. "That's nasty, man. Kyle would never do that." And he feigns throwing up.

The three of us break into laughter, Kenny falling onto the ground and Stan chuckling into his palm.

"T-thats... the only thing nastier... than Cartman!" I add between my snorts. The boy has been a menace ever since I set foot in our classroom! Calling the new student a nerd? Asking if it's acceptable to crap on a desk? He must really need attention.

Man, I don't know how Stan and Kenny lasted this long with Cartman as their classmate.

"Oh boy, and you haven't even witnessed his farts!" Kenny roars, "They're explosive!"

"Fuck that, dude!" Stan hollers, "His farts could wipe out an entire fucking continent!"

Our laughter only gets louder by the second, until the school bell rings. We don't actually head to our room immediately, but once we did, Mr. Garrison made sure to give me — the new kid! — an earful for being late.

And Cartman? I'm told he went crying for his mama. Hah! If anything, he's the pussy and the nerd!

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Stan."

"You too, Kyle." Stan shoots me one last look and wave before entering his house. I let my eyes linger on their front door for a few more seconds before I enter my own.

As soon as I go through the door, the aroma of my mom's cooking fills my nostrils and I hear a welcome home from my dad. I give him a polite smile before heading upstairs to my room. My parents always told me to finish my homework before doing anything else, and being the obedient child I am, I do exactly what they tell me to do.

I finish the Math problem set in a matter of minutes. Thank goodness Mr. Garrison gave us a light workload today, meaning I had the time to go online on Facebook. I was just about to type 'Stan Marsh' into the search bar, when a notification appears:

Stan Marsh has added you as a friend. Confirm Stan as your friend?

I am delightfully surprised, clicking the 'Confirm' button right away. A notification comes up yet again:

Kenny McCormick has added you as a friend. Confirm Kenny as your friend?

Wait, Kenny has a computer at home? I remember him telling me how his family barely had enough money to support his schooling, but I guess they have enough for a computer?

I avoid thinking about it too much and hit 'Confirm'. The next ten notifications or so are from kids I don't know, but I recognize their faces so I accept them as Facebook friends anyway. The last notification was probably the most surprising (not to mention, disturbing!) of them all.

Eric Cartman has added you as a friend. Confirm Eric as your friend?

Is this for real? I shake my head as I press 'Ignore.' The motherfucker was not, is not, and will never be my friend.

Finally, the wave of notifications stop and I lean back my chair, contemplating on surfing the Internet or going downstairs to tell my parents all about my first day of fourth grade. However, another notification from Facebook appears.

It's a message from Stan. sup dude?

Nothing much. Just finished my homework, you? I reply.

took sparky out for a walk

We talk about lots of things and lots of people, like we've been friends reunited. He asks me how I thought of South Park so far, and I answer him honestly: It's been the best! Thanks to you and Kenny, of course. :) He replies with a lot of exclamation points and smiley faces expressing his satisfaction.

Our chat continues for at least an hour before mom calls me for dinner.

Brb dude, gotta eat.

same ttyl

I sign out of my account and pull the plug, I hear my dad's voice inside my head. Kyle, you should wait for the computer to completely shutdown before pulling the plug or else it'll damage it. With the plug in my hand, I give flashback dad a quick apology.

"Bubbeh, come down while the food is still hot!" My mom yells and I drop the cord, already out of my room in record time.

"I'm coming!"

dude

Yeah?

u know wendy?

Wendy? The name sounds familiar, but I can't put a face to it. No, sorry.

then why are u friends with her?

Huh? I go to my profile and check my friends list. I scroll down a few times before my eyes catch the name. Wendy Testaburger?

thats her

So? I ask, not knowing why Stan even cares about my relationship with this Wendy girl. I don't even know her.

nothing He replies a bit too quickly.

Then it clicks.

You like her, don't you? Good thing Stan can't see me, because I'm sure my face is morphed into a teasing expression right now.

ew no man why would u even think so The vibe I get from the message is defensive and I have to hold back a chuckle. I can almost feel his blush from here!

Chill out, Stan. There's nothing wrong with having a crush on someone.

but i dont have a crush on her? Oh, Stanley, you are an awful liar even through the Internet.

If you say so! ;) I hit enter, but it doesn't send. I hit the button again with a bit more force this time, thinking it will do the job but the message still doesn't go through. I repeat the same process, me getting more and more frustrated after each attempt. The poor enter button is sunken when I finally realize that it's past 10 in the evening.

I mash my head on the keyboard. Kyle, you idiot. I was so carried away by my conversation with Stan that I forgot that my mom turns the Internet off at exactly 10 every night, in order for me to not develop computer dependency. It's not my fault I thought it was 8 or something!

A sigh escapes my lips as I tuck myself into bed. I didn't even get the chance to say good night to Stan.

I close my eyes, trying to fall asleep. Yet I lay awake that night, mind full of thoughts and expectations on how awesome the school year was going to be. Now that I did make nice friends, it may actually be enjoyable!

Wow, that came out depressing. Way to go, Kyle!

A/N: Hey guys, I'm still alive! But now my newest addiction is South Park and I've been binge watching it since August~

If anyone wants to adopt my two fics: To Heal Her and The Four Dragon Knights, then just leave a review or hit me up! I don't know how, but just contact me hehe. I'm sorry but I really forgot what my plan was for those two stories, so I'm giving it up. :(

Oh, and leave a review! Let me know what your thoughts are for my first SP fanfic (constructive criticism is highly appreciated!). Thank you for reading!