Twitchy the Unwise
Disclaimer: I wish I owned LOTR but I don't!!!!!!!!!!
Okay. Here's the plot. Merry recieves a title for his bravery. Pippin and Legolas get jealous, Gimli learns needlepoint, Aragorn takes synchronized swimming lessons, and Gandalf is dating Anna Nicole Smith. As you can see, this fic will be utter maddness,
Here I go………..
"La la la….." Merry sang to himself. "Oh hi Anna Nicole Smith," he said turning around. "My name is not ANNA NICOLE SMITH!!!!!!!!!!!" Gandalf yelled. "Oh, sorry," Merry said, holding up a small tube of cocaine as an explanation.
"If you don't stop, that you'll end up like Anna Nicole Smith," Legolas had come out of nowhere. "That was mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gandalf cried, and jumped at Legolas, who was screaming, "NOT ANOTHER NOOGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"All of you shut up, I'll be late for the sewing circle!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gimli had joined the We're Men And Still Sewing group. He was currently learning needlepoint. Aragorn frowned. "How come I am not allowed to join your sewing circle?" he asked.
Gimli frowned. "You would not take it seriously," he said.
"Merry, I have exciting news. You will be gaining a title," Gandalf said. "For what?" Merry asked. He was currently getting boozed up. "I don't know, I was drunk when they told me," Gandalf said.
Pippin and Legolas watched jealously as Merry grinned and held up his bottle of rum and preparing a toast to himself. After the toast, he drank the whole bottle. "You will die, hobbit," Legolas said under his breath.
HEY! Sorry I did not mention Frodo and Sam, they will come up later, they are currently on vacation at Miami Beach with Gollum…… REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!