He walked into his room, and the first thing he noticed was the black-winged angel lying face-down on his bed.

For a moment, Pit just stood in the doorway and stared. There were more questions in his head than he could keep track of, so instead of trying to answer them himself, he walked over to the bed, grabbed his double's shoulders, and shook him hard.

Dark Pit woke up almost immediately. "The heck's your problem?" he snapped.

He pushed Pit's hands away and scooted closer to the wall. "I was taking a nap. Is that illegal here?"

"In my room?"

Dark Pit shrugged. "The place doesn't have a guest room."

Pit crossed his arms. "What are you doing in Skyworld, anyway? I thought Magnus was going to get you a job with some crew of mercenaries?"

"He did. Which worked out fine, until they tried to sell me to a zoo."

"Wait…what?"

Dark Pit rolled his eyes. "Your goddess is letting me stay here until I can find another job. Guess she forgot to mention it."

"Lady Palutena!"

Pit ran into the temple, stopping to catch his breath as soon as the goddess noticed him. She walked over to him and frowned. "Something wrong?"

"What's Pittoo doing in my room?" asked Pit.

"Oh. Sorry about that – we don't have a guest room, remember?"

"That's not what I meant!" Pit protested.

"If you're worried about beds, I can get someone to bring you an extra mattress."

"That's not – "

Pit stopped in the middle of his sentence. "Actually that's probably a good idea."

Palutena crossed her arms. "I didn't think you'd mind so much. Last I checked, the two of you were getting along OK."

"I don't hate him," said Pit. "I just…"

He paused, trying to think of how to explain. "I've never had to actually live with him before."

"It's only for a little while," Palutena reminded him. "You'll just have to manage."

The two of them didn't see much of each other for the rest of the day. By the time night had fallen, Dark Pit was nowhere to be found, and Pit was ready to go to sleep. He set the extra mattress out on the floor, jumped into his bed, and closed his eyes.

It wasn't long before his rest was interrupted. The door flew open and slammed shut again, and footsteps could be heard. "So I've got a bed now?" remarked Dark Pit. "Your idea?"

"It was Lady Palutena," Pit murmured.

He wasn't asleep yet, but he was tired enough to resent the interruption. "Well, it's better than the floor," Dark Pit remarked.

He sat down on the mattress and rolled onto his side, facing away from the bed. "You know, if she's going to bribe me, it would've been nice to have a room to myself."

"What do you mean, bribe you?" asked Pit.

He sat up. "Exactly what it sounds like," said Dark Pit. "What, you think she's letting me stay here out of the goodness of her heart?"

"Well…yeah."

"Maybe, but that's just part of it. I'm a free agent with the potential to shake things up if I wanted to. She wants me on her good side so that I won't interfere with her business."

"Do you want to shake things up?"

"Right now? No. I just want to find a life I like and live it. The less I get involved with the gods, the better."

Dark Pit sighed. "I can't believe I'm telling you all this," he added.

The two of them were silent for a while, both trying to sleep. Eventually, Dark Pit spoke up again. "Make that orb stop glowing, will you?" he muttered. "It's too bright."

"The one in the corner?"

"The one that's still on. You know that's what human children do, right? They light a candle at night because they can't sleep if it's too dark. You're not a child, are you?"

"Of course not!" Pit protested. "It's just a reminder."

"Of what?"

"That no matter how dark things get, you can always find light somewhere."

Dark Pit groaned. "Should've known it'd be something corny like that."

He pulled the blanket over his head and tried to sleep.

It was late in the morning when Dark Pit woke up, and he found himself alone in the room. Once he'd had a chance to look around, he noticed a scrap of paper lying on the bed. It was a crude drawing of a winged stick figure, carrying a bow and surrounded by monsters. "Must be out on a mission," he murmured.

After he'd left the room, the first person he ran into was a lone centurion. They walked past each other initially, but at some point, the centurion spoke up. "Hey, I remember you!" he said.

Dark Pit wasn't too thrilled to hear that. He wasn't sure when he would've run into this guy, but he doubted he'd made a good first impression. Bracing himself for a verbal beatdown, he turned around and looked at the centurion. "Really?"

"You're the Captain's copy, right? Aren't you the one who went to the Underworld to rescue him?"

Oh. That was it.

Dark Pit was suddenly uncomfortable. That was what this guy remembered him for? The one time he'd saved Pit's life, rather than all the times he'd attacked him?

The centurion continued. "We really owe you for that," he said. "If it weren't for you, we would have lost him, and then we'd have all been doomed!"

"I…I was just returning the favor," Dark Pit protested. "I owed him one. And besides, I probably would've died too, if he had."

"It doesn't really matter why you did it. I'm just glad you did."

"He was only like that because he saved my life, though."

"Sounds like him. He always goes out of his way to help everyone, even if it's dangerous. That's just how he is."

Dark Pit looked away. He didn't like the direction this conversation was going. "Which way's the armory?" he asked, changing the subject. "I'm bored."

The centurion pointed down the hall. "That way," he said. "There's a training room next to it, but you should probably…"

He trailed off. Dark Pit was already gone.

A few hours later, Pit found his double tearing dummies apart in the training room. One of them flew across the room, nearly crashing into him. "Pittoo, cut it out!" he shouted.

Dark Pit dropped the claws he'd been using. "Something wrong with using the place the way it was intended?"

"This room is for the centurions. Mine is at the end of the hallway."

Dark Pit stared at him. "You get your own place to train?"

"Yeah, because I actually use it. There's a reason those dummies break so easily," Pit explained.

"Who says I want to share with you?" Dark Pit challenged.

"You're already using my bedroom," Pit pointed out.

"I told you, there's no guest room."

"Well, unless you want this place to fall down around you – "

"Is that a challenge?"

"NO!"

Dark Pit put up his hands. "That was a joke," he said.

"Hard to tell, coming from you."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll go."

Dark Pit headed for the door, but before he could leave, Pit spoke up. "Oh, right! I almost forgot to tell you – I ran into Magnus on my mission."

The other angel turned around. "And?"

"You weren't kidding about the zoo thing. He wasn't too happy about that. But anyway, once you got away, they sold the guy a couple of wood nymphs, and…well…"

Pit paused, trying to figure out how to explain, but Dark Pit saw where he was going. "I doubt Viridi took that well," he said.

"She didn't. The place is a thorny mess. Anyway, Magnus wants to make it up to you by letting you join his crew. Sound good?"

"If it gets me out of here? Sure."

"Yeah, I figured you'd say something like that," said Pit. "Go talk to Lady Palutena – she'll send you over."

Before he could say anything else, Dark Pit was already running down the hall. Pit started to run after him, but after a few seconds, he stopped. No point in saying goodbye – they'd see each other again. "Good luck" he said, quietly.

This isn't quite what I had in mind for this one-shot, but it's how it turned out.

Also, if you take those Smash Bros "guidance" things as canon - specifically the bit about where Dark Pit ended up after the game - then I guess this is mildly AU.