Through His Eyes
A/N: This just came about from a discussion about whether Ciel was blind in that eye or not. I don't plan on making this a longer story, but I hope to use this in another story once I get the right idea.
In the velvety quiet of the night, Ciel awoke suddenly from a nightmare that still clung to him like a foul smell. He couldn't remember what precisely he had been dreaming for had faded into nothingness the moment he had bolted upright in bed, but the fear clawed at his heart and mind. Trying to push his feelings aside, he shoved aside from the twisted blankets and turned to slide out of the bed. The cool floor beneath his bare feet was very real and solid and, although it caused Ciel to shiver slightly, he was thankful for the tangible sensation. At least he knew that he was awake.
And alive.
Shuffling across the room, the nightshirt tailing behind his small frame so that he undoubtedly looked like a forgotten ghost, he made his way over to the window and pushed aside the curtain. He could see very little at first, but slowly his eyes adjusted so that he could see the grass with drops of dew twinkling in the moonlight as if a few stars had fallen from the sky to lie among the blades. Everything was peaceful and still; belying the chaos that surrounded his life. With only the briefest moment of hesitation, he moved the hair back so that he could stare at the world through his marked eye.
He wasn't blind in the eye as many were led to believe. When he had first made the contract, he thought he had been blinded. The feeling of the warm blood trickling down his face like a crimson tear had made him afraid, and for a few minutes he couldn't see anything. Then, the sight in eye had slowly returned, but it wasn't the same as it had been before. No longer was this simple a mortal, human eye. This was an eye marked by a demon, and it allowed him to see the world differently. He saw things as he thought a demon would. It was like looking at the world through Sebastian's eyes.
At first, he had found it rather interesting. He couldn't take the eye patch off very often or else he risked someone noticing its appearance and understanding the implications. But alone in his study, he would remove it and look out of the large window behind his desk. His eye provided a unique view and perspective that he had never dreamed of in the past.
Through that eye he saw neither beauty nor ugliness. Things simply were. He could see symmetry and arrangement, but the images seen by that eye evoked very little emotion. He liked this world view because it allowed him to do as he pleased without thinking of any feelings that might be stirred by his actions. It also allowed him to become more like Sebastian, and that's exactly what he wanted. He didn't want to feel or think about ethics. In order to survive in this world, you had to abandon weakness. You had to kill or be killed without hesitation. Humanity needed to learn from the demons or else they would be forever weak.
His views changed, however, on the fateful day he happened to glance in a mirror. He saw himself as he feared that Sebastian saw him: weak, emotional, and a mere child. He did everything he could to hide any signs of weakness or childlike naïveté in Sebastian's presence. The expression on his face remained hard and stark, and he made it a point not to take pleasure in things viewed as being for children, but that eye saw the truth he denied to himself daily. That eye touched by a demon only presented the plainest and cruelest of facts.
So like Sebastian.
Since that time, he only took off the eye patch when it was necessary. There were times it itched to the point he feared it would drive him mad, but he still kept it in place. He didn't want to have to risk catching a glimpse of himself, and then he could continue to lie within his own heart. He could tell himself that he no longer was that same boy in the mirror. If he looked at his reflection now, he would see someone stronger and more ruthless, but he never worked up the courage to put this to the test. Instead, he just kept the patch in place and had all unnecessary mirrors removed from the manor. It was easier to lie when the truth wasn't staring back at you.
Turning away, Ciel walked lightly across the floor and climbed into his bed. Arranging himself beneath the blankets he closed both of his eyes. So many thoughts were roaring through his mind as he almost pleadingly begged sleep to pull him back under to the bliss of unawareness. Yet, even as he fell asleep, a single thought managed to pierce through all of the other noise within his mind.
What exactly did Sebastian see when he looked at him?