AN Dis iiz mi stury(An diz eez mah commentary). MI friend edited it 4 me. (you bullshittin') You're the best, Darry!
Ilvecoffee-n-narutoYouth: Well this is my attempt at a commentary on Jo Bekke at Hugwrts. I've actually only read about two chapters of this, so what's in here is what's going throught my head as I read it. So please review.
BOOK 1: JO BELLE (JO MAMMA!) POTTER AND THE SORCERURS STON
Chapter 1: Dumbledore(WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WRITING YOU MOTHERFUCKER!)
Mi nam is Jo bele Susie lilee Puttr. I waz drupped uff at mi uncl and ants hose (HOLY SHIT! You live in an ant farm). wen I waz 3 da dark lurd volddenut killd mi parents(well that's just fantastic). I used to hav a bruthr but he livs in engglnd (So does this take place in some post-apocalyptic all-the-countries-are-merged-together type thing). Now mi ant in uncl in sutth carulia (You're giving us South Carolinians a bad name! Stop it!) razed me. Dey r abusive(you deserve it). Dey rap and hurt me(you deserved that too).
I hav durty blond hair, that hangs down to mi feet(maybe that's why it's so dirty. Its called a haircut, bitch). i hav dimond blu ies (my ies sparkl too) dat sparkl. Sometimes my eis are green or yellow(OK so your ies are diamond blue, which I've never seen a blue diamond before in my life' and your EIS are green and yellow...). OI am super hot!111111111(what a modest, charming young lady)
1 dae I waz wlkin doewn da street nd I cm hom der was a ledder on da doorstep(O.M.G the suspence) . I gspd!11111111111111 (le gasp!11111111122122) it sad (I'd be sad too after seeing your face) hugwurts skill od wickraaf nd wizrdy(so what kind of kitchen is that again?). I tried to get it butt sdunely… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .. .. ..
A knif came me (and suddenly...we didn't give a crap)!111111111111111 Im fast thouh, so I caut it nd thru it bak at mi dum uncl(who just happened to convienently appear).
it hit him in da crocht and he did(did what? The macerena?). den antie Beatrice cam up (Was she in the kitchen?). "U klld mi usbnd u freek!111111111111111"(no...the knife killed your girl)
Hes nut ded.' I told hur. Den I wavd mi hnd n he cam bak to lif(So she's Darth Vader now?) ! "Jpo bel!" he screemd(if it was me who had just been stabbed I wouldn't be screaming anything)
Mi ant thru me acruss the rume.\ I hit da wull nd nearly pasd out!(Bitch. That's why you should of been in the kitchen)
"wuts dat letr u hav,' jo bel?" ant betric askd(letter? What letter)
"NOOO" Uncl sd. (So who threw the knife? Or did it just conveniently happen to be raining daggers. Cloudy with a chance of impalement)
"I hut wed stuppd it!" ant betrik sad.(I thought we stomped the yard? I'm confused...)
"den unl grvaed be nd thruuu me acrss da rume(and into the kitchen).(So does he no longer have an open wound) DEN DA DUR FLU OPEN!111111111.. ….. .. .. . . .. .(oh. I actually forgot all this was taking place outside her house)
An old man was der.(I know who it is!) He had a long blak beerd. He spok in an awsum suthurn bretesh axnt. (U KNOW WHO IT IS?) "I am Pruffsr ALbis Peeter Quintin alexndr Dumbldur!111111111" he crid.(I thought it was Lady GaGa)
A flash uv litenin was seen oteside da durr.(So it was outside...)It lukeed lik mi scar(That you conveniently forgot to mention when you were proclaiming how hawt you were). I hav a scar ov a litenn bult on mi 4hd.(Hmm...that's not very hot; unless, of course, you got it while in, say it with me: THE KITCHEN!)
Dumbldur sd. "Cum w/ me jo bel I hav ur bruthur."!1(Oh lawdy lawdy!)
2 B CNTUUD!(Please don't)