(A Companion piece for Don't Close Your Eyes, there was no song inspiration for this one except for the title which comes from "Will You Still Love Me" by Chicago.. 3 Chicago always gets the radio volume turned up. This has got to be the shortest fic I've ever written)
I know I am being selfish and completely unfair to him, but I just can't help myself. I know what he desires and I try. I do try, I really do, but I cannot force something I do not feel. I sometimes wonder if my heart is dead. So why do I stay, knowing it causes him pain? When I see the disappointment in his face after we have made love, o rather when he makes love to me, because I cannot look at him.
I stay for that reason. Of all the people in this cruel world, he loves me: the freak. He's the only one that cares. He understands me and tries to give me what I want, to please me, but he can't give it to me because he's not the one I want. He's merely a replacement. A substitute after giving up hope that the one I love will one day return my affections. And I would be drowning in my despair if not for the nights I spend with my silver-haired lover. So maybe there is something there after all, if he can keep my head above the water.
Maybe one day I can look at him the same way he looks at me, but not now. I just hope he will continue to have patience with me and not lose heart. His love will have to be enough for the both of us until then. Who knows how long that will be? It may be never. I have to see the one my heart longed for everyday. Be patient with me. Don't leave.
Stay.