Edward Elric awoke in a daze. It was hot. Or perhaps cold. He didn't know. What was the time? Not that, either. Where? Did it matter? Maybe. Yes, it was definitely cold. He opened his eyes. Dark, too. Was he floating? Perhaps he was. His mind was thinking the way a mind tends to think when on a mild hallucinogen. Slowly it began to take in details: a light from under him, darkness above him, a feeling of pressure on his whole body. A dark, rocky ceiling drifted into view a distance ahead of him. Reaching out his hand, he attempted to touch it. Before he could, a scaly object floated in front of his face: a … fish? His mind suddenly kicked into overdrive.

He was underwater.

All of a sudden he couldn't breathe. Then he realized he hadn't taken a breath since his drowsy awakening; a lack of oxygen was a possible conspirator in his sluggish behavior. Edward kicked to the murky rock, turned, and kicked off, going to the surface. His original legs, as his automail been by this point been replaced, helped him massively in his leaden struggle to the ether. It was a long ways away.

Reaching the air with a Herculean breath of air, he was utterly baffled by what he saw. He was surrounded by not only miles of sea on all sides, but of ancient-looking ships that he had read about in some of his father's books. Ships with sail and oar and metal points at the bow. These ships were filled with hundreds of thousands of men. He had never seen this many men: not in Central, nor at Briggs. Thinking clearly, he did the first thing that came to mind: yell, "Help!" A few men in the immediate ships saw this and pointed, shouting. He attempted to swim to the nearest ship. Despite the salt water, he was having a hard time staying afloat due to the fact that his body was almost entirely muscle.

"Come aboard," Said one young man, holding out his arm. Edward gladly took it. He heaved himself up to the deck with the help of the man and a long oar.

Glad to be on board and no longer in the sea, he wiped himself off, turned to the man who had just helped him. He sniffled. "You have my thanks," He offered his hand.

"Ah, it was nothing." Said the sailor, taking his hand and shaking it firmly.

All of the men on the ship were looking at him. Edward looked around, mind racing. The sun was setting in the direction opposite of their course. It was the most beautiful sunset he had ever seen. Somehow, it was different from the ones in Resembool or and of Amestris. Its grandeur was unrivaled even by the spectacular nightfalls at fort Briggs.

"I am Anastios, captain of this ship. What is your name? You look a lot different from the other." The other man spoke, bringing his attention back.

"I am Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. And the…other?"

"You are like him? He claimed to be that same thing. I will take you to see him." He led Edward to the other end of the ship and below the deck onto the smoky, dark deck where slaves rowed. "A rather sadistic fellow, he is. He seems to get pleasure from hearing suffering."

All that Edward needed to see was a white suit.

"Ah, well if it isn't the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric. It has been a long time, hasn't it?" Said the man, stepping forward out of the shadows.

"It has. And I can't say that I'm thrilled to see you again, Kimblee."

Kimblee! That bastard got out of Pride's inner maelstrom?

"I'm offended. We always had such a great time. And here there are no Alchemists to stop my oppression of this race. A new, clean state to take the powers of Truth for myself."

Edward moved into a defensive position and clenched his fists. Kimblee began to laugh.

"It's only a joke. You have no sense of humor,"

Meanwhile, Anastios was standing to their side, uncomfortably. Ed turned and asked where they were. "We are crossing the Aegean Sea to continue our besiegement of Troy. It is almost finished and I've heard that Odysseus has come up with a plan to finally end it. It has been ten years, you know."

"What the hell? Are we in… ancient Greece?" Edward was completely taken aback.

"It is not ancient! Today is today!"

"You heard him." Kimblee retreated to the shadows. He back against a wall and brought his fedora down over his face, grinning.

Edward experienced intense obfuscation at this. It infuriated him to see that Kimblee understood exactly what was happening.

"Yes! Why did we fish you out from the sea? How did you come here and where are you from?" He asked, brow furled.

"I… we are from… a different place… almost 3000 years in the future."

"What? Are you serious? How did you come to be here, then?" Asked Anastios, beginning to grow angry.

"Hell if I know! I just woke up and now I'm talking to one of my worst enemies and on the way to Greece!"

"Now how does someone as little as you have a worst enemy at all!"

At this, Edward started to beat the shit out of the Greek.

Men came to restrain him. They tied him to the mast above decks.

"Don't call me short!" he screamed.

When he finally calmed down, Anastios served Edward his revenge. Kicking, hitting. After getting Edward bloodied and bruised, he let up. "Have you learned your lesson?" Anastios asked.

"Lesson? You should learn your lesson. Not to call me short!"

"Hm."

There was a slight pause.

"I guess that I should take you outsiders to Achilles."

The name clicked in Edward's mind. A few minutes passed in silence.

"On the topic of your collective origins, then?" Anastios asked.

"Hmph. Well, you could say we're outsiders. We are from a place to the north called Amestris."

"I have never heard of that place."

"It probably hasn't been founded yet. Have you heard of Xerxes?"

"That name does sound familiar to me."

"Most likely still a small town in the desert to the east. That is where my father is from. Anyway, in our country, we have a science, an art you might call it, called alchemy. Alchemy is used in many different ways, and sometimes for military purposes."

"Are you a soldier?"

"That's a long story." Edward laughed. "You see, alchemy is the science of taking apart and reconstructing things. There is a law called equivalent exchange, that means if you want something, another thing of equal value must be taken."

"You lost me."

"When we get to land, I'll show you."

They sailed into the morning before seeing land. Halfway through the night, Ed got seasick but had gotten used to it before they landed. A massive army had already fortified the shore to a ridiculous extent. On a cliff near the ocean, a tent stood where all activity seemed focused around three very tall men and a woman. As they disembarked on shore, the three, flanked by platoons, came to meet Edward and Kimblee. From the other ships appeared Alphonse, Alex Armstrong, Roy and Riza Mustang, Izumi and Sig Curtis, May Chang, and Ling Yao. The sight of Ling reminded him of Greed. How he missed Greed, the defiant Homunculus who had assisted them in their battle against Father.

But back to business.

"Alphonse! Where the hell have you been?" Ed ran to his slightly taller (originally-bodied) brother. They embraced.

"Brother!" He said in his rather prepubescent voice. It had been long since they had seen each other. Alphonse had gone off to Xing to study Alkahestry with Ling and May. He was only about fifteen still, Edward remembered. His hair had grown long, and he wore it down, contrary to Edward's ponytail. Edward realized that they were both wearing red robes. Lame. Oh, but Al's were embroidered with Xingese letters and made of silk. Of course.

"Edward, it has been a long time." The massive pink hulk Armstrong bent over to shake his hand. He was dressed in his bright blue military uniform, although it was slightly dank. Edward noted that he had been promoted-he was now a full-fledged general. Most likely head of central command. If Mustang died, Ed suspected Alex to be first in line for the throne.

He walked over to Mustang.

"How is the Führer?"

"Hello, Fullmetal," Mustang said in a rather conceited tone.

Ed had heard that Mustang had been a great Führer so far. He'd made peace with Drachma, Creta, and Ishval. Plus, he'd started trade routes with Xing and both countries were benefiting hugely from them. The peaceful relations between surrounding nations had increased friendliness so much as to allow for open borders with all countries. This strengthened the economy, military, and nationalism amongst citizens.

Edward turned to Ling.

"Edward!" He ran and they squeezed each other tightly.

"I haven't seen you in forever! How've you been?" Edward said.

"I am the emperor of Xing now! I've brought prosperity to Xing."

"Wow, Ling!" That crazy man. Taking the throne to the most powerful country in the east. Edward wondered how his newly founded dynasty was going. Pretty well, it must be, for Ling's words in Amestris had convinced him that he was a worthy leader.

"A king exists for his people, without subjects rulers can not exist."

After a while of hellos and how are you's, it was revealed who the men and woman were. Achilles, Odysseus, Major Miles, and General Armstrong approached. Of course Armstrong had gotten in with Achilles. He seemed, in all his massive might, to be… afraid of her. They all did. Scratch that, everyone did. Scary woman.

They all made introductions, Armstrong saying some particularly optimistic remarks about Edward and Alphonse's fighting abilities, surely the highest compliment she could give: "Good soldiers."

Achilles' demeanor seemed to shrink at being afraid of Armstrong, but was nevertheless highly intimidating. Alex and Sig Curtis were particularly fond of him, as could be guessed. Handshakes all around.

Soon after the festivities, they all quieted as Achilles began to speak in his nearly infrasonic voice. "Tonight! We surrender."

Uproar.

"We will send a gift to the Trojans,"

Mayhem.

"As an offering of peace."

Utter pandemonium.

"Fear not, my brave men!"

Instant, complete silence, save for the clanking of armor.

"We have fought for a very long time, too long, for this to be the end. We will send in soldiers inside the horse. They will wait until midnight inside. Exactly then, they will exit the horse and set it afire, then wreak havoc." He began a crescendo as his words build in intensity. "We will enter at this signal. When we do begin our siege, you have my permission to go insane. Rape, kill, and burn as much as you want." Now yelling. "We will disgrace these god(s)forsaken lands!"

Much revelry all around.

"You call it alchemy?" Achilles asked.

"Yes. We take things apart and rebuild them, to put it simply." Edward said, after realizing that he could somehow do alchemy in this place.

"Interesting."

Edward wanted to show off, so he took apart the recently completed, soon legendary Trojan horse and turned it into a huge statue of himself. Achilles was infuriated. He realized how bad an idea it was to get this man angry, the most fabled warrior of all time, so he changed it back quickly.

The time for the final battle was soon; the Achilleans had already begun their "retreat." Troy, still weary, began a nervous celebration.

Edward, after showing Achilles and Odysseus his special ability, had obfuscated the entire plan: the men were quite greedy, and wished to ride to glory showing Troy the overwhelming military might of the Greek. Whilst the horse plan would get the job done, it just wasn't as glorious and stupendous as making a cannon of the front gate and using it to fire upon Troy itself. Edward had originally agreed to help the Greek who had been so gracious to him, but on learning their intensions and reasons of battle from an undistinguished fighter in a phalanx, he doubted whether it was worth it to fight for these men. To kill all of the innocents in Troy.

He'd been through something similar before, after all.

Author's Note: howdy, y'all. I'm geoff. call me master. I'm only kidding. This is my first story on here. Go easy on me. Just to let you know, this doesn't show much of my sense of humor... more on that later. Its a pretty dark/offensive sense of humor. So yeah. I'm rating it M for later (im)maturity.