Leo was tired of pretending to be okay. Tired of smiling at his brothers when he felt like crying. Tired of hiding behind clever sentences and distractions. He shouldered this burden like a farmer would a hoe. No matter how many blisters or splinters or aches it gave him, he still carried it with him because it was his job.
He was the leader. Leader's didn't have time to feel sad. They lead. They didn't let anyone see them cry. They stayed strong when other's couldn't. They endured the pain no matter how much it hurt because that's what leader's do. That's what Father would do.
Leo didn't want to be a leader anymore. He wanted to go home. He wanted to hold his brothers' hands and sit in his father's lap and forget anything bad ever happened. Go back to the days when his biggest concern was whether or not Dad would find out they dropped his favorite tea cup in the sewers. Go back to when he could crawl in his father's bed if he had a nightmare. He wanted back the times when he had someone to answer his questions and tell him that it's be okay.
Leo whimpered softly, lifting his hand to cover his eyes as they began to water.
"Stop that. You're the leader. They're counting on you," he said to himself until the feeling faded and his voice was steady.
This was his responsibility. He would be strong for his brothers. He wouldn't let them worry about him. He would be the best leader he could, which meant there was no time for mourning.