Pain changes people

Author: sovandeprins

VVV

Early morning broke without a sound. The skies, polluted from fallout of wars long forgotten and dust flying through the air like flies.

Early mornings - the people sleep with masks, the fear of death eminent in the wealthiest of neighborhoods to the lowest of low.

Sakura was no exception. With a shortage of medical supplies and care, one had to be careful of exposure – even minor ones.

The sheets under her were stiff and crisp, having dried during the night as they slept. Their covers, dirty from use but needed – there was no time to waste water on such things. Took too long.

She brushed her bangs from her eyes, rubbing at them as she turned. Her hair was a mess, ruffled and damp.

The breathing next to her was uneven, hefty and raw. She hoisted herself up to her elbows, the covers coming off her chest and exposing her.

"Kakashi?" She whispered, touching at his shoulder. He shook her off, brows knit together and sweat coating his skin. He had kicked off the covers during the night, too warm for comfort. "Kakashi." She stood on her knees, now pushing her hands to his chest. He pressed down against the mattress from her weight and her hands felt clammy from touching him. Sakura took the moment to pull off his mask, letting him breathe more freely.

His lungs are already damaged anyways.

Kakashi stirred, taking in a long, deep breath as his eyes fluttered open. They were dull and tired from sleep, yet swollen and dark from lack.

"Hm?" He mumbled, pushing at her to rub at his eyes. She leaned back to sit on her heels, hands up against her chest in uncertainty. He was getting worse – they both knew it. But with little to no money, there wasn't much to do about it. They could just… pray. For his safety and luck.

"You have a fever…" She voiced, low and distant. Then, she crawled over his body – straddling him on the way – before stepping down to the floor to fetch a basin and towel. Anything to keep his temperatures down.

When she came back, he was sitting up. His eyes were distant, far away into himself. A place she was not allowed into.

She sat down the basin, at the side of the bed where there was no chance of spillage. Then, as she wet the cloth and wrung it out, he fingered at her hair. Slow, long strokes from the very root to the very tip. One strand at a time

Sakura brushed away his hand, then took a seat at the edge of the bed. She padded at his brow, gentle taps and slow strokes. Over and over as his hands found their way to her sides. To her thighs and between. And she let him, not because she wanted something – not because she was in need. But because it was his touch.

"Mask," he rasped, mouth like cotton. They hadn't had water for a while, resorting to drinking the very water she was cleaning him with. Sakura left the piece of cloth hanging over her wrist and reached for his mask. He ducked his head for her, making access easier as even when seated, he was tall.

Once it was secure, she dampened the cloth and wrung it out. And so the process continued.

His hand came to stroke along her hip, fingers feathering over the soft skin there. At stretchmarks she shouldn't have and at bruises that never seemed to heal.

Tap, stroke. Tap, stroke. Tap-

"We… need to move soon." A finger, stroking against the softness of her inner thigh. His eyes were not on hers.

Sakura paused, blinking - hand having found its way to cup his cheek. She thumbed at the soft skin under his eyes, watching it move by the slightest of touches.

"It's safe here," she remarked, frowning. There had been little activity that suggested the need for leaving. They had one neighbor – another couple, older. They were hostile but kept to themselves… unless things got too loud.

Kakashi shook his head. "We need to find water, y'know. And clothes."

He cupped the underside of her breast. She had forgone getting dressed in favor of gathering the basin and cloth. She pushed his hand away.

"Water... yes. We do need that. But- …But there is a well in the woods, is there not? The old couple comes back with buckets of water every month or so."

"You think they want to share?"

She sat quietly. Tap, stroke. Tap.

"You're getting worse." She commented.

"I know."

Patter of rain. When each drop fell against the glass of their window, the room filled with a dizzy sound.

Tap, stroke. Tap, stroke.

He grasped at her wrist, turning his head.

Sakura dropped the cloth into the basin, moving it around in the water for just a moment before reaching for the covers to dry off her hands. She climbed over him to get back into bed, but he caught her around her waist and held her close. She let herself relax into his touch, hands coming to spread over his abdomen. Her ear, to his chest – his heart.

She whispered, more to herself than him. "Do you love me?"

He gave no answer, hands pausing their rhythmic stroking. They cupped her shoulder blades, fingering at the bones like a piano.

She hadn't expected an answer, but she got one anyways.

"… Pain changes people." Then, he added. "Maybe… tomorrow."

Part of her wanted to hurt him for that. Part of her knew – knew that he had lost more than she. But time was limited. Tomorrow, he could be dead. The rattling in his chest sounded like gunshot against her ear.

"… Yeah."

And she knew.

VVV

FIN