Chapter 1: All I Remember
A/N: Hello, I'm Pervy Kouhai! I love Jean and Marco more than anything, and they are my OTP of OTPs. This story will centralize around them, with side Riren. (LevixEren) This is my second Shingeki no Kyojin Fanfiction, and I hope you enjoy it! Reiner and Marco start out slightly OOC. This is for plot purposes!
Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin. If I did, Marco would never have died.
AU: Modern. Warning: dark themes such as mentions of rape, abuse, and self harm. Sexual themes that are not intended for younger readers are present. Explicit situations may or may not be present in later chapters. If the coupling JeanxMarco bothers you, don't read! If LevixEren bothers you, please find another story!
One last thing, certain canon deaths are still present. Read to find out which ones. I truly hope you enjoy the story!
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The dream happened again. I saw a strangely familiar man with freckles, dead. Half of his face was just... gone. As was half of his body. The rest was charred and covered in a thick substance. You could see into his chest, a cavernous bloodied mess. His eye was darkened with fear and agony. The last seconds of his life had been filled with unspeakable pain. A sob built in my throat, and I didn't know why. I don't know this man. I couldn't. Then why did it hurt so badly? I wailed in agony I couldn't understand as I begged the dead man to still be alive. I banged on his destroyed chest, hitting it over and over. I screamed and screamed a name. My voice was too garbled to understand what I was saying. A broken wail forced itself through my chest when a strangely familiar hand touched my shoulder.
"He's gone, Jean. It's too late."
The alarm went off, forcing me out of my reverie. Sighing, I dragged myself out of bed, knowing that I can't skip work again. I shuffled out of my uncomfortable twin sized bed to walk slowly to the bathroom. Leaning over the sink, I turn the water on and rinse my face. I looked in the mirror at my bare chest; every scar and cut visible on my tanned skin. Another secret I held that no one would ever guess.
It had been so long since I had last seen myself smile or felt anything other than pain. I wake up every morning wondering who I am, not because I can't remember, no, I know all too well my name and my crimes. I wonder who this stranger is with every heart beat in my chest; I find myself turning down a darker path. One I swore to avoid, but seeing death changes a man. Even if it did occur only a dream.
I took a quick shower, trying to fake some happiness for the long day ahead at Trost's Finest Café. My dream was long forgotten before I even walked out the door.
I unhappily settled in my car as I drove the several miles to downtown Trost where my work was located. I wasn't happy to be here, and it was obvious with every move I made. Grumbling quietly to myself, I noticed Eren's car was already here. I cursed my damnable luck as I walked in.
Sure enough, there was Asshole himself waiting on me. He greeted me with his usual snide remark in a voice that grated on my ears, "Hey, Horseface. About fucking time you showed up. I was about to go find you to kick your ass."
Rolling my eyes, I growled out, "Eren, shut the fuck up. I am NOT in the mood for your bullshit. At least I got this job without having to fuck the boss!"
Eren's ocean blue-green eyes flashed with hurt and anger. A wave of regret flooded me momentarily. A low voice lashed out behind me, "What was that, Mr. Kirstein?"
Fuck. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Levi, the boss had heard me insult Eren, but I just didn't give a fuck today. Let him say whatever he wanted. I stayed silent as I reached for my apron.
"Well, Mr. Kirstein? What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Say?" Levi snarled, his steel-grey eyes gleamed darkly, his eyebrows fiercely furrowed in anger.
I shrugged and decided that I should attempt to be more civilized from now on. Even if I already knew that there was no point. Still, I sighed, "Nothing, SIR."
Levi smirked and nodded, as if to say, 'damn right you said nothing, you fucking ass of a Horseface.' I moved behind the counter to begin taking orders from customers as they slowly came in. I held a fake smile. Within minutes of me arriving, the place became absolutely packed. Beautiful. Time ticked by, each minute dragging. Somehow, only an hour and a half remained on my shift. I had yet to take a break. Fucking bullshit.
I kept thinking 'fuck everything' as a fake smile became seemingly permanently etched upon my lips. I had to keep appearances up. At the far end of the café I could hear a small group of men talk loudly. They were calling me a faggot and imagining what I liked up my ass. I flinched, and held back the urge to beat the fuck out of them. I realized it was only one of them talking, the other two looking extremely uncomfortable. It was just like high school all over again. Steady- it has to wait just a little longer. Six more hours and I can leave this damn place.
One of the unnecessarily rude men called me over, asking for a refill. I faked a smile and brought the coffee pot over to top his drink off. As I neared the table, freckles became prominent. I flinched slightly, my steps becoming uncertain. Freckles on a tanned face, with dark eyes... My heart ached for reasons I couldn't explain. I had a terrible feeling that he was the man from my dream. I looked carefully at the guys surrounding the man with freckles. One was ridiculously tall with a thin but long face. He was seated next to a shorter and rather overly muscular blond man.
The blond man tapped his cup before turning to the tall one. He had a low voice which wasn't surprising given his build. He said lowly, "I wonder, Bertolt, if we can ever find out who broke into our apartment. It was probably a faggot and his loser of a man."
The taller guy, (Bertolt?) sighed, "Reiner, hush. You know how I feel about that word. Whoever broke in was probably having a difficult time. Why else would they break into a poor college student's apartment?"
The blond sighed and looked down, nodding. The third guy, the only one who hadn't spoken up looked like he felt terrible. I briefly wondered if he had broken in, but looking closer at him, I doubted it. He seemed too innocent to commit a crime like THAT. I refilled Reiner's cup and went to walk away. The freckled guy reached out to tap my wrist. He said in a quiet voice, "Excuse me, sir? Could I trouble you for a refill as well?"
My body froze up at hearing his voice. My chest ached even more fiercely, and I felt so fucking confused. Still, I forced myself to reply, "Of course. It's no trouble at all."
I forced back a sad sound as I refilled his coffee cup. As I moved as if to go back to my station, the guy's finger tapped my wrist again. Looking down at him, he slipped a paper into my hand before the other two could notice. Flashing me a small, but blinding smile, he moved his hand away. Quickly, I moved away from the table, trembling. Eren saw me and rolled his eyes again.
"Horseface, hurry the fu-" Eren began.
"Eren. Kitchen. Now," Levi growled angrily, his brows furrowed further than usual in evident anger.
It was my turn to roll my eyes; I knew what was going to happen. Levi was going to get caught slamming Eren into the nearest wall before biting him. After activities would ensue, twenty to thirty minutes would pass before Eren returned. His face would be flushed, and his eyes would glow. As always, a fresh and dark mark would be extremely visible on his sun-kissed skin. Disgusting, but the norm.
Annie raised a bored eyebrow at me, before mouthing, "Do you need a break?"
I nodded at Annie, letting her know I was DEFINITELY ready for my over due break. I rushed out the back door, hoping to relax for even a brief moment. I looked down at the paper still crumpled in my hand. Opening it, I read the casual scrawl.
"My name's Marco. I'd love to take you out sometime, so feel free to text me. XXX-XXX-XXXX. Hope to hear from you soon. ;)"
I took my phone out to quickly add his number. I don't know why I'm doing this, and I'm so confused as to why he seems familiar. But something tells me this is a good idea. I texted the number saying, "Hi. This is the waiter from inside. I'm Jean. What did you have in mind?"
After sending the text, I put my phone back in my pocket. I felt my phone quickly vibrate, but I decided to ignore it while I collected my thoughts. Despite an exciting potential for a meeting with the freckled man who turned out to be named Marco, I was still feeling rather low, too low. I pulled my wallet from my back pocket. Opening it, I found my small razor blade. I knew it was wrong for me to continue cutting; someone, somewhere would be worried and they cared, but for now, I didn't give a single fuck. I needed this fucking relief. My chest burned in anticipation of the cut. I lifted my shirt, and dragged the blade down onto my exposed stomach. The bite made me flinch, but I dragged it deeper. I left one, two, three, four deep marks. I pulled the gauze I always kept in my pocket out and padded it carefully onto the cuts. I secured the bandage of sorts with a piece of tape.
My phone vibrated again. Sighing, I pulled it out. Seeing the lit up screen, I groaned. Marco had already texted three times.
"Hey, Jean. Wow, sounds French. Anyway, I was thinking we could go to the Steakhouse a block and a half from here. My treat?"
"It's me again. If you don't want steak, we could go for Italian? I know a great place. Hanji owns it. Tell me what you want."
"Jean? Are you even interested? I'd understand if not..."
I groaned at the last text, quickly typing up my final reply, "Marco, I'm interested. I don't care where we eat, just NOT at a place Hanji owns. She's scary enough as a customer. God forbid her touch my food! Stick around, I get off in an hour."
Marco replied within seconds. "Sounds great, handsome. I'll be the one with freckles."
I chuckled quietly to myself, unable to fight my smile. Shaking my head, I walked back in to Hell- I mean the café. Reiner and Bertolt were gone, and Marco was still at the booth. Patiently awaiting the end of my shift.
He called out, "Hey, Jean, do me a favor, and bring me a slice of cherry pie. I'd be forever indebted to you and your pretty face."
My cheeks flushed a dark red as I nodded, rushing to the counter to bring him a slice of pie. Jaeger was back and leaned in to leer, "Ooh. Someone likes Horseface. Go get 'em."
Eren cackled at my shocked expression. I rushed back to Marco with the pie and reprimanded him softly, "Don't say things like that with Eren in the café! It's embarrassing."
Marco grinned and nodded shyly, "Too bad Eren already knows me and what team I play for. He just didnt expect you to respond. He's been texting me about it."
Anger boiled suddenly in my chest. I couldn't explain the angst building. "He. What?!"
Marco wordlessly slid his iPhone over to show me the conversation.
"hey, freckled jesus. see anyone u like yet"
"Not really. It's hard to look, though. Reiner and Bertl won't stop talking."
"...Eren. Who's the guy you called 'Horseface'?"
"eww don't be interested in him he's jean"
"Jean, eh? Interesting..."
"ew just ask him out already instead of staring"
"Maybe I will."
"do it"
"wait is jean even gay?"
"I'm about to find out, Eren..."
My eyes narrowed, and my cheeks flushed red again. My vision turned red. I was about to stomp away when Marco stopped me.
"Look, I'm sorry about that. Eren's... A handful. I still want to take you out... If you're interested?" he whispered softly.
I nodded, "No matter how mad I am at Asshole, I'll still go on a date. I agreed to it already."
The smile I received was blinding. I couldn't believe how happy my response made him.
The rest of my shift passed in a blink. Marco was still waiting on me, his eyes following me with every move I made. I moved toward the front door and nodded at him. He smiled and walked towards me.
"Ready to go, Jean?" he asked lowly.
"I guess I am, Freckles." I replied with a playful smirk.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed Chapter 1! I hope to have Chapter 2 posted soon.
I'd love to hear from you, so please leave reviews! Reviews make me update faster! Thanks for the read, guys. (: