Winner's Guilt
by LonelyDrifter
Hi, people, I'm Bill. Back in the eighth grade, I had a bad problem with bullies, and the worst of them was named Mortimer.
Looking at things today, I should have just told my parents and had them go to the school's principal, instead of doing what I did, which went too far in punishing Mortimer, and left me to bear the Winner's Guilt.
Or, if I could have duked it out with him one-on one, that might have also worked..
But, that was impossible, because I could never catch him alone. I was outnumbered because Mortimer was always surrounded by his gang of followers, who joined in with his torturing me.
For example, hanging me upside down on a jungle gym, and shaking me to make my lunch money fall out of my pockets for them to steal, then dropping me to the ground, leaving a bad bruise on my face.
No, my revenge on Mortimer was almost Magical.
Or, I can think of a more logical, and scientific description.
My parents had been eating this casserole, which didn't smell right to me, so I passed the dinner plate, and didn't eat any.
After dinner, my parents went around the house on all fours, barking like dogs, and I guessed that it must have been the casserole that caused their strange behavior.
At that time, I didn't know about drugs, but today my guess is that the casserole must have been spiked with LSD-25 or some similar potion.
The next day, in the lunchroom, Mortimer went into his usual act with me, calling me, "Billy Boy," rubbing my head like I was a pet of his, and making me sit at the lunch table next to him, where he stole my candy bar.
While Mortimer was distracted by this hot chick in a green sleeves outfit, I put some of the spiked casserole onto Mortimer's plate, and he ate it, soon afterward, causing a disturbance by running around the lunchroom on all fours, and barking like a dog, while chasing Miss Greensleeves around.
The school principal soon soon captured Mortimer, and sent him home, after which he escaped from his parents and was reported missing.
It got a bit of newspaper coverage, and maybe some of you read about it.
Mortimer was finally found, returned to his parents, and despite the portrayal in a TV drama, Mortimer never had any "flashbacks" to being a Dog Boy.
But, the name, "Dog Boy" stuck, and Mortimer did suffer ridicule for the rest of his junior high, and high school days. He never was "right" after eating that casserole, and his followers all deserted their former leader turned Dog Boy.
Mortimer never bulled me again after that incident, which changed his entire personality.
Before eating the casserole, Mortimer was outgoing and had friends, but afterwards, he wasn't friendly with anybody. Before, he was talkative, but after, he was quiet and rarely spoke to anyone.
That casserole definitely changed Mortimer, and while he never bullied me again, the change in his personality was very bad for Mortimer himself, with him becoming socially crippled, and I know that for the rest of his life, he will not be able to function socially.
And, I worry about what is going to become of Mortimer in adult life.
While the TV show changed things, they did get one thing right.
In the scene where Mortimer is lead out of the school building on a leash, and he looks at me, Bill, you can tell as we briefly make eye contact, that we both know that I did this thing to him that would forever change the course of his life.
Yes, as the narrator said, "Bill felt pangs of guilt" for what he had done to Mortimer.
An older gambler once told a young upstart that there are only two kinds of gamblers: Winners and Losers.
The Losers give up everything they have for gambling: their life savings, their cars, their houses, anything to pay their gambling debts. And, as the older gambler told the youngster, the Winners must bear the guilt of what happens to the Losers, with them, and their families being reduced to poverty.
What I did to Mortimer was a gamble, since he could have just as well turned vicious after his Dog Boy episode at school, and bullied me even more cruelly, for revenge.
Fortunately, it didn't happen that way. Mortimer just became a docile boy who didn't bother anyone.
But, he did not become a bully magnet. One of his former bully buddies, an overweight guy with tits so big one of my friends questioned whether he might be a girl, "Mr. Big Knockers," tried bullying Mortimer, and Mortimer knocked him flat on his fat ass!
While Mortimer was docile A.C. (After Casserole), he could still take care of himself.
But, when Mr. Big Knockers and other bullies bothered me, Mortimer never came to my defense. He was not a Guard Dog.
The TV show had a happy, but "it's over, or is it?" ending, where Bill and Mortimer became best friends, and they are at a lake. Bill throws a stick into the water, giving Mortimer a Dog Boy flashback, his jumping into the water to fetch the stick, to Bill's dismay.
To repeat myself, Mortmier never suffered such flashbacks, and, he and I did not become best friends.
Today, I see Mortimer on occasion, and he's like an abused dog, or feral cat, scared, and trembling with fear.
I tell him, "It's OK, Mortimer, I'm not going to hurt you," just stand there, and after awhile, he calms down, and I tell him I'll buy him a hamburger, and we go to a fast food restaurant.
We don't say too much to each other, and we never talk about "it."
We don't need to.
We both know.
After eating our hamburgers, we go our separate ways, until our next encounter.
That young gambler never mentioned having any Winner's Guilt, and I'm sure he was a Winner gambler.
Wonder if the older gambler felt the Winner's Guilt?
There might be some gambler's who never feel any Winner's Guilt.
But, I'm sure some of them do feel it.
I know that I do. I can't help it.