Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the references to various other fandoms.
A/N: Warning: this fic is not to be taken too seriously (Siriusly) or your heads will probably explode.
We would just like to say we are well aware that our OC, Scarlett-Belle, is a Mary-Sue. This is deliberate, and she was thought up during one of the weirdest thought-processes of our lives. We hope you enjoy this fic. Hashtag. Oh yeah, and we overuse hashtags, but that is to truly enhance Scarlett's character.
HOGWARTS ON HOLIDAY
Starring our very own Mary-Sue.
#NUMBER1: #INTRODUCTION.
Hi there, my name is Scarlett-Belle Anita-Bettina-Caterina-Darina-Emmelina-Frederica-Georgina-Helena-India-Jacinta-Katrina-Lolina-Midnight-Nightstar-Bomb-Chicka-Wow-Wow-Hashtag-Anne Smith. I'm the most amazing person you'll ever meet. Like, ever. Seriously. #Don'tstopbelieving. I have long black hair which has #SWAG, emerald eyes, (totes better than #HarryPotter) I have skin as white as snow and lips as red as blood. One of my feet is bigger than the other, but that is #Pureblood.
I'm American, but I go to Hogwarts. I get #straightO's, but sometimes the #Professors put 'T' by mistake so I use my #hypnosis to correct them.
I was adopted by a family of Giraffe worshiping Beavers. LOL #Dontstopbelieving. My mother's name was Priscilla Jamelia-Emanuella-Morticia-Fleticia-Patricia-Walla-Walla-Bing-Bang-Hashtag-Morganna Smith. My father's name was Jeff. I was too awesome for my parents so they left me in a forest. I couldn't talk, so I meowed until I attracted the attention of my #MamaBeaver.
She and her family took me in until I received my Hogwarts letter; it turns out that Jeff was a wizard.
On my eleventh birthday I met #Swagrid who took me to get my #wand and #schoolstuff. I ignored the pet regulations and bought a #wetfish.
I'm in Gryffindor, but I'm Slytherin at heart. I mean, really? Gryffindor? The Sorting Hat must not have seen my last status update. It was like, 'You're in Crocs superstore, you notice there are a pair of gold-encrusted-silver-plated-rainbow-coloured Crocs with your full name and #number1 #Don'tstopbelieving imprinted on the side. You notice another woman going for them, even though you know her name is MOST CERTAINLY NOT YOURS. What do you do?' And I was all like #CATFIGHT! #THOSEAREMYSHOES! #ONEWAYORANOTHERI'MGONNAGETYA! #SHUTTUPPAYOURFACEWHATSAMATTAU? #THOSEAREMYSHOES! #BACKOFF! And she saw my face, and was like "#I'MABELIEVER!" So I got out my emergency wet fish, and slapped her in the face. My results clearly stated Slytherin.
Ding-Dong that's your lot. POW. #MEANDMYWETFISHMADESUSHIOUTOFYOU. #DEALWITHIT. #YOLOWETFISHSWAGGERMOVESLIKEMICKJAGGER.
Four years later, I'm even more amazing.
On the first of September of my fifth year, I boarded the #HogwartsExpress with my #trunk and my #wetfish. The first person I saw was Draco and I DIED, he was soooooo beautiful. Muscular, manly, sparkly… Oh, wait that's just his hair gel, but still #swoon. He totally wants me the look of 'OMG I NEED TO LEAVE NOW!' Is just a cover. #Don'tstopbelieving.
During the welcoming feast later that evening, #Dumblesrocks made an announcement.
"This next announcement is very important and applies to you all; it has come to light that the students of our school community would benefit from having further education on the Muggle world and its cultures. Now I am aware that many of you are Muggle-born or half-blood, so this is a prime opportunity for you to share with your fellow classmates the knowledge of the practices and lifestyle of muggles. What the Ministry and Board of Governors have decided is that the students of Hogwarts will be travelling to Australia and staying in a Muggle-run resort for a two-week 'learning vacation'." There was a crash as Draco fainted and fell to the ground. #Dumblesrocks continued regardless. "In other words, Hogwarts is going on holiday!"
A/N: Please #review! #:)