Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the Kingdom Hearts universe or it's characters. I am not making a profit by writing this. I am writing this to express my love for the game and it's characters, and to improve my abilities as a writer.

A/N: I'm a fairly new writer in this section of fanfiction. So far I've posted two one-shots in the Kingdom Hearts fandom. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it. The title is off a song that Frank Sinatra sings.

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All or Nothing at All

By Tat Claire Kokoro

Chap. 1 Guilt

/ I know that you're hiding things

Using gentle words to shelter me

Your words were like a dream

But dreams could never fool me

Not that easily/

-1000 Words

It was a cold winter morning, the sun was still rising from the sky, the moon was beginning to fade, and the stars were long gone. The wind blew, biting their already blushing cheeks. They were cold-freezing, even with the layers of sweaters and coats covering them. The only warmth they were granted was each other.

The two held hands, walking side by side at a steady pace. The eldest, a silvery haired teen with wicked (almost) translucent eyes held the other's hand tenderly. "Sora, are you okay?"

The brunette turned his head to Riku, "Its cold but. . ." He trailed off and smiled, "I'm fine. We only have a few more blocks, right, Riku?"

Riku nodded, "Right."

For the rest of the trip they were quiet, as they always were. Riku led Sora to the school all the way to his classroom, and then said the usual, "Bye. I'll come get you when school lets out."

"Thank you, but you don't have to do this."

"Don't worry about it." He waved, though Sora more than likely didn't see him. Down the halls on his way out, people waved. They thought it was very kind of him to walk Sora to and from school everyday.

The cold shocked him when he opened the door. He was very tempted to skip school and stay inside the building. Reluctantly, he went outside, thinking about how Sora's condition was his fault. He took one last look at the school Sora had gone to for three years now.

It was an old brick building with a plague gleaming in the faint light. In capital letter read, "St. Anael's School for the Blind." To Riku, the place looked more like a prison that a school.

Sora wasn't always blind. He used to see more than what the average person saw. He would notice things in nature, the moon hiding behind velvet clouds or raindrops clinging to glass. Sora saw beauty in almost everything and everyone. Riku remembered when they had first met five years ago.

-

Sora had just moved in a few blocks away from his house and was sitting on the sidewalk next to it, licking an ice-cream bar. Curious about the new kid, Riku walked by. He didn't expect to stop, just a quick glance. When he passed the house he strained his eyes to see through the windows. He hadn't noticed the brunette staring at him in awe.

He felt a tug at his shirt and his eyes met deep blue. "What?" he growled in annoyance. He didn't have time to chat with a teeny bopper.

Sora drew Riku's face closer to his until only their noses touched. There was a moment of silence, and then Riku wrenched his way out of Sora's grasp and glared.

"Your eyes are like mirrors." Sora said, not noticing Riku's attitude towards him.

True, Riku's eyes were fascinating to people, but they also scared them. Most didn't even struggle to describe his eyes. And if on occasion, someone did, he didn't like the description because it didn't quite fit him. Sora on the other hand, had only just met him and had described his eyes perfectly. "Why mirrors?"

Sora flushed and turned away.

"Tell me." Riku pressed.

The boy shook his head.

Riku let this slide, deciding he would ask later. They traded names and talked about themselves, laughing in between. Riku had never had a true friend, people usually were afraid of him (because of his eyes). He was a little jealous of Sora, who had made a lot of friends where he used to live. Then he felt sorry for the boy because he had to leave those friends behind and had to start over.

"I'll be your friend."

"Really?"

"Yeah. So . . .why are my eyes mirror-like?"

"I'll tell you later."

"When?"

Sora gave him a sly grin, "I'll tell you when we're older."

-

The rest of the way to school he thought about the horrifying thing he had done to Sora, then that last day Sora had his sight. After Riku's mistake, Sora's eyes began to fail him. Each day he struggled to see, and each night he said good bye to the things he would never see again. The boy had been frustrated with his predicament but kept his cool and accepted his fate. There was nothing for him to do except say good bye and watch the world fade.

-

"Riku. . ."

"Yes-." He stopped in mid-sentence, for Sora had his face close to his, their noses touching, and lips dangerously close.

"Can I see your eyes one more time?"

"S-Sure. . ."

His mirror eyes met void ocean blue,. There was a silence between them as their words were replaced with pure emotion. "When I look in your eyes. . ." a faint blush graced his cheeks and he pulled away. "Never mind. . ." He shook his head.

The next morning, Sora woke up and opened his eyes but all was dark.

-

Riku checked his watch, he still had twenty minutes left. He would have preferred to go inside to warm up, but he didn't want to socialize. He hid behind the school and sat on the freezing ground, holding himself in fetal position.

Watching the snow fall calmed him. It numbed his regret, his sin. However, watching the snow fall could not bring forgiveness or take away his guilt.

"I'm sorry."

-

How was your day?" Sora asked.

"Boring."

"You always say that."

"That's because school is boring."

They were on their way to Sora's house. Again, like this morning, Riku was holding Sora's hand, guiding him across the dangerous world.

"What are you reading in Literature?" Sora asked, still trying to make conversation.

"Mmm. . .Oedipus the King."

"Oh . . .I haven't read that yet. What's it about?"

Riku shrugged, he didn't like school and he hated to talk about it also.

Not hearing Riku's answer, Sora sighed in defeat. He hated silence.

Thankfully, the silence didn't last, as they had reached his house. Sora's aunt was at work until five, meaning Riku would stay to 'hang out'. He knew his friend's real reason for staying; he wanted to make sure Sora didn't have an accident like falling down the stair or tripping on his own feet. This always frustrated Sora, who didn't like to be fussed over. There was many a time where he wanted to shout at Riku for being too helpful but he would force himself to bite his tongue and turn a blind eye. He valued Riku's presence, and he liked it when Riku walked him to and from school, which was the only time they could hold hands without question, without shame or embarrassment.

Sora had sometimes wondered if Riku ever thought of holding hands for a reason other than guiding him. He shook his head to rid of his fantasies and with his free hand dug in his pocket for the key. He reached for the lock and when he found it, unlocked the door.

Immediately when they entered the house, the fragrance of vanilla hit them. Riku scrunched his nose; Sora's aunt was going crazy with the air freshener again. Sora was annoyed by the overwhelming scent too, his face showed a disgusted look and was turned away. Still, they went inside to escape the cold.

"What do you want to do?"

"Retreat in your room, the smell is gagging me." The silvery blue haired one said bluntly.

Sora nodded and went upstairs with Riku not far behind. Riku's help wasn't needed often while at Sora's house. Sora knew his house well enough to maneuver around the furniture and to find what he wanted or needed.

They went through the hallway, heading towards the room at the end. Sora stopped inches from the door and held his hands out, running them over the polished wood then to the brass doorknob. He turned the hand until it clicked and went inside his room.

Sora's room hadn't changed much over the years. There was a bookshelf shoved in the corner brimming with book both in text and brail. A pile of magazines lay in his mussed bed, waiting to be read aloud by either Riku or Shouko, Sora's aunt. Next to the magazines was a stuffed animal from his childhood, a cat known as "Furless" which was odd since the toy was plentiful in fur. The dresser drawers were half open from this morning's rush to school and the radio was on, playing various rock ballads. The curtains were pulled open, allowing the sunlight to pour in, and gave Riku a peek at the gloomy winter environment outside.

The brunette plopped on his messy bed and picked out a magazine. "Will you read this to me?"

"Sure." Riku took it from his hands, analyzing the cover. It was a magazine keeping up to date with the hottest bands. He searched the articles for Sora's favorite bands and read aloud. To keep both him and Sora entertained he would read the articles enthusiastically, do poor voice imitations or crack a joke in between reading. As he read, Sora had his face towards him, soaking in the words but mainly Riku's smooth voice.

The silvery haired one closed the third magazine from the pile.

"Done?"

Riku nodded, "I'm tired. . ." He laid his head on Sora's shoulder and closed his eyes, taking in Sora's sweet scent. "Mmm. . ."

Cautiously, Sora ran a hand through his friend's hair. Riku sighed and moved into the touch. "Neko-Riku. . ." Sora teased, but Riku was already asleep.

-

Sora sat at the kitchen table wearing a pair of slightly baggy jeans and a simple red long sleeved shirt. He already had his shoes on, ready to go out the door as soon as Riku came. Riku's taking a long time . . ., he thought worriedly. His friend had fallen asleep on him yesterday out of the blue and was still asleep when Shouko came home from work. Sora had asked his aunt if Riku could stay the night but she had clucked her tongue and said Riku's family probably wanted him home.

Riku didn't stir the whole ride home nor did he after he was tucked in bed. This didn't worry Sora before, he assumed Riku was just tired, but now that he thought about it, other reasons filled his worried head. What if Riku was in a coma the whole time?

A knock at the door released him of his worries. Sora hopped out of the chair, finding his way to the door, "Coming!"

Another ring filled the house, annoying Sora. Hadn't he just said he was coming? He shrugged it off, putting on his coat, picking up his book bag and went out the door, locking it behind him.

A soft petite hand reached out for his and he took it, only to cast it away upon touching it. This wasn't Riku, the hand was too small to be his and the fingernails were perfectly manicured. This was a girl.

"Where's Riku?"

-

-No characters were harmed (physically) in the making of this fanfic. Tat Claire Kokoro is not responsible for the mental breakdowns of any characters.-