Spoilers: End of Celes

Warnings: Major character death - an irreversible one.

Author's Note: For a long time, I had this awful 'what if' idea where Kurogane was unable to save Fai before Celes was completely destroyed. Something came up recently that compelled me to write this out as a twisted, cathartic venue. This is written from Syaoran's perspective. KittenKin, however, managed to write something like this, but from the warrior's perspective, something I personally cannot do. She has also published her story on FFN, titled 'A Promise Fulfilled', and has my full permission.


Insane was not enough to describe Kurogane's present state.

Syaoran watched in terror, in pain, the horrendous (and familiar, one too far away in blurred memories revealed through a wretched book his image had witnessed, but awfully familiar) sight of blood staining the barren rocks, drenched from the sharp blade of Souhi. There were cries coming from the strong soldiers, enraged (and anguished) screams coming from a woman risking her life to step in and challenge the violent warrior one-on-one.

He should have step in to stop Kurogane from his violent wrath before it grew worse, but he couldn't. He had to protect Mokona and the princess' body. But Syaoran was still grieving over the loss of Fai in Celes (and they all were. Mokona was crying and she wanted to do something to help the warrior but he had to hold her back no matter how hard it was).

It was all too sudden, too tragic. Fai's second curse was enacted that would trap them all until the world was destroyed and in his weakened state he saved Syaoran, Sakura, and Mokona first but couldn't do the same to him and Kurogane. The teenager watched in horror, in pain, Kurogane's desperation to save Fai from dying along with his king and his home, watched in despair as the ninja (so strong, so stubborn, so determined to do whatever it took to protect them all) relented and let go of Fai's hand, saying something that Syaoran couldn't hear but just knew it was an apology of helplessness. And then Mokona summoned her travelling magic in heat of the maelstrom, whisking the freed ones away, Syaoran holding onto Sakura's body and Kurogane kept yelling and yelling and Syaoran could never, ever forget the cries of 'Mage! Mage!' over and over until they had landed here.

There was something cruelly haunting in those red eyes – loss, pain, devastation, anger, helplessness – when a party of soldiers and medics arrived, and in a blink of an eye Kurogane had snapped (like when he was a youth, broken and overwhelmed, holding onto his mother's body and clinging onto his father's sword, never wanting to let go of the last things left in his possession), unleashing Souhi and all his wrath.

He stayed there, watching in terror, in pain, as the woman who could only be Souma exhausted herself on the brink of slowing down Kurogane before a ray of light pierced through the warrior's shoulder, and he fought and fought and fought to stem the tide of the caster's spell and it stayed like that until the spell overwhelmed him. Kurogane screamed, dropped Souhi, and collapsed on the ground. Souma hovered over the defeated warrior, keeping a careful (and anguished) watch until the caster, Tomoyo-hime hurried over to her guard.

Syaoran held back the lump rising in his throat, remembering a scene like this (one too far away in blurred memories revealed through a wretched book his image had witnessed), but this time there were no remnants of Fai, no traces of the mage left and only the haunting image of Fai facing his death with acceptance as the world around him took him down.

Tomoyo lifted her spell and briefly eyed Syaoran and Mokona, and in that tiny window all three shared the same grief, grief for Fai, grief for them all, but mostly grief for Kurogane.

"I'm sorry," she said solemnly, blinking until a single tear leaked out of her eye and betrayed her.

Kurogane, in his sudden state of stunned disbelief, brought out his left hand and snatched the air around him, as if he hoped that Fai would materialize out of the other dimension, as if he had never let go of Fai in the first place. It was the last straw for Syaoran as he too let out a small sob, tears leaking out as well and joining Tomoyo and Mokona in their mourning.

He knew all too well the burning guilt and regret of not being able to grab onto someone precious and save them in time. Somewhere, in a world where time was shut off, his princess was waiting for him. And somewhere, as countless worlds are ruined and lives are destroyed and disrupted, his clone was still alive for the princess in his arms who had wept and tried so hard to make him stay. But Fai was gone, dead, and there was nothing done that could be done to bring the mage back to life.

Syaoran barely managed to lift his head to see Kurogane, devastated and broken beyond resolve. He watched in pain, in empathy, as the warrior wracked his parched mouth open, eyes hallowed, and croaked, "Fai."

Kurogane broke down.