Gems with Pans
Steven: "AH! Pearl! There's a shattered Diamond on our table!"
Pearl: "Oh hey!.. how did she get here?"
Steven: "...did you shatter this Diamond, Pearl?"
Pearl: "Shatter White Diamond? Of course not! I – I have never seen her before in my life!"
Steven: "Explain what happened, Pearl!"
Pearl: "Well… okay. So I was just sitting in the kitchen, minding my own business..."
Steven: "Okay..."
Pearl: "Then I decided to make you pancakes for breakfast…"
Steven: "Go on..."
Pearl: "So… I fixed the Homeworld warp, visited White Diamond – and – you know – slammed a frying pan two thousand times on her head!"
Steven: "…Pearl! Her gem's on her head!"
Pearl: "Oh."
Steven: "Hitting Gems' gems can crack and shatter them, Pearl!"
Pearl: "Oh, Steven – I didn't know that."
Steven: "You've shattered her, Pearl!"
Pearl: "Yes, I'm in the wrong here. My bad."
Steven: "...what happened to her shards?"
Pearl: "What?"
Steven: "Her shards… some of them are missing."
Pearl: "Uh, well… I kind of… turned them into powder and… used them to flavor your pancakes!"
Steven: "…"
Pearl: "…"
Steven: "...Pearl..."
Pearl: "Today's pancakes were missing a special ingredient."
Steven: "...Pearl."
Pearl: "It was love."
Steven: "Pearl!"
Pearl: "That only a crushed Diamond tyrant could provide."
Steven: "What's wrong with you, Pearl?!"
Pearl: "Well – I – I shatter Homeworld Gems and secretly feed them to Rose's son – that's – that's two things!"
A/N: A lame parody on Llamas with Hats.
Would have written it on Pink Diamond, but considering the latest episodes…
Okay now I should focus on completing the next chapter of my SU-fic "The Moon and The Universe".