She had practically begged her to stay. She had told her she didn't want her to go, but gone she had. The woman who had turned her life upside down had walked out of it and Serena didn't know what to do with all the feelings. She didn't know what to do to make it better, to fix it. Some things are just meant to be painful. She had sent messages and emails but had received no reply. The two parts of herself were at war. The sensible part of her brain told her to just get over it, leave it in the past and move on. But, how was she supposed to do that? This woman had changed everything and now occupied every thought. The other part of her brain, the part that was incessant and caused more problems than everything else, was ever hopeful. Ever trying to cling to what she secretly wanted. Never in her life did she think she would ever be in this position, at least not with a woman.
But this woman was different, different from other women and different from any man. There was an undeniable connection between them and a chemistry. Without having to explain herself or say any words at all she was understood and slowly over time she had come to rely on her. For support and comfort and she hoped, for love. Had she not said it? Had she not been honest? But that was the moment, looking back, when the decision had been made. When this woman had walked out. Was it fear? She knew that Bernie felt the same, but she couldn't reply. She had run. And now, where was she? What was she doing right now? Had she thought about her at all? If she had, why had she not replied or been in contact. Sometimes it drove her crazy and the only explanation she could come up with was that she just didn't want to take the risk.
Of course Henrik knew, you could tell by the questions that he asked and the way that he asked them. A man of few words, but always knew the correct ones, the ones that you needed to hear or the ones that got straight to the point. But he was never vulgar. So of course he knew, but he didn't pry and he wasn't judgemental. But, he prodded her into sending that last email, the one confessing that she wasn't angry anymore. She hoped that she would come back or at the very least reply.
As a middle-aged woman love was difficult at the best of times. But discovering the love of your life was in fact a woman, really put a new spin on the whole situation. Of course she had considered the fact that it might be a mid-life crisis. It wasn't however, Bernie made her happy and she had waited for that for a long time. This separation had made her sure and each day that passed, instead of making it easier, made her feel more sure of what she felt. It was a matter of waiting, eventually she would come back. Eventually she would conquer what had scared her so much to begin with. But waiting was not an easy game to play. But play it she must. She would because she knew that if it all worked out she would be happy.
So, she waited.