Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, and the song used is by Meatloaf
Summary: Martha finally confronts the Doctor on the part of himself he is keeping a secret. The part of himself that belongs to Rose. Can he tell his new companion of his old companion? Of the one he loved and lost?
The One That Got Away
Baby we can talk all night, but that aint getting us no where. I told you everything I possible can, there's nothing left inside of here.
The Doctor dropped himself into an arm chair and let out a sigh as he watched Martha before him. Her dark skin was glossy with tears and her hair was pulled back off her face. Her eyes were darkened by pain and curiosity as she watched the Doctor, he hands were folded in her lap but they still trembled. The Doctor closed his eyes as he tried to think of what to say...of how to ease her suffering although he knew the truth would only hurt more.
Maybe you can cry all night, but that'll never change the way I feel. The snow is really building up outside – I wish you wouldn't make me leave here.
'Who was she?' Martha eventually asked after their deathly silence. The Doctor raised his eyes to meet hers, pulling himself out of his long lost memories of her.
'She was Rose. Rose Tyler' he whispered simply as though the name should explain everything. Martha shrugged – the name was meaningless to her
'What did she do?' she asked almost hostile.
'She saved the world' he murmured with a faint smile 'and she saved me'
I poured it on and I poured it out, I tried to show you how much I cared. I'm tired of words and I'm too hoarse to shout.
Martha rose from the sofa
'And?' she asked. He squinted at her
'And what?'
'She must have done something more than that, countless others have done that and you don't treat their memory how you treat hers' she told him on the verge of tears. The Doctor shrugged in defeat
'She was different' he told her quietly.
'So different that her room is off limits? That her name can't be spoken? So different you can't move on?' she asked as her voice cracked. The Doctor just nodded
'Yes' he admitted as his heart burned.
You'll never find your gold on a sandy beach, you'll never drill for oil on a city street, I know you're looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks, but there aint no coupe de ville hiding at the bottom of a cracker jack box.
The Doctor looked up sharply
'I can't love you Martha. That was never part of it – that isn't why I asked you to come' he warned her. Martha nodded sadly
'I know – I never expected that from you'
'Then what do you want?' he asked desperately
'A friend, a companion…someone who cares' she murmured. The Doctor looked up, his heart break evident in his eyes
'I'm trying Martha, I really am trying'. She just nodded sadly.
I can't lie, I can't tell you that I'm something I'm not. No matter how I try, I'll never be able to give you something, something that I just haven't got.
Martha placed her hand in the Doctor's
'Let me help you' she whispered. The Doctor looked down into her reapproachful brown eyes but instead saw Rose's hazel ones staring back. In his hand all he could feel was Rose's hand which fitted perfectly to his…unlike this hand, this hand was wrong. The Doctor dropped her hand and shook his head.
There's only one girl I will ever love and that was so many years ago. I know I'll never get her out of my heart, I remember how she left me on a stormy night, I pleaded and I begged her not to go.
So the Doctor told Martha the story of Rose Tyler, the story of the woman he loved…the story of the woman he lost. He made sure that the legacy of Rose Tyler wouldn't be forgotten…never ever. He made sure that she would live on forever…his Rose Tyler.