You play such a convincing role

Pretending you're a salvaged soul

And I think you almost believe what you impart

Addiction is your younger face

You swear there's no remaining trace

You testify impurity has long since left your heart

And true enough, your tongue stays clean

Her taste an all but forgotten dream

With every day's sobriety you believe you've regained worth

.

But the vial is at your fingertips

Your tongue is darting past your lips

And you think how fallen Heaven could taste sweeter than fallen Earth.

.

Just a taste - Dean won't know

You pull until the cork lets go

Then tilt the glass and let the rose red poison stain your hand

You touch your tongue - electricity

A rush of pure felicity

And just like that we find ourselves back where we began

.

It's not enough - you shake, you crave

You finally hit your knees and pray

And he appears before you, jaw tight, like he knows

The word need escapes your lips

As sweat falls from your brow in drips

There's sorrow in his ageless eyes before he draws them closed

.

Your heart plummets deep inside you

Convinced he's chosen to deny you

And then you see the light glint off the blade now in his grasp

You breathe a sigh of sweet relief

He cuts his arm, you bare your teeth

You both moan softly as you suckle in rhythm with his gasps

.

You flick your gaze up to his face

And bring your hand to graze the place

Where his body is betraying the lust he wants to hide

His forearm tenses beneath your lips

You feel the twitching of his hips

You pull the drawstring loose before you slide your hand inside

.

You let your fingers guide him through

Let them express your gratitude

All the while your greedy mouth proceeds to suck him dry

His knees give out as he moans once more

You catch him before he hits the floor

And lay beside him as you both absorb your respective highs

.

You stretch your arm across his chest

He whispers something meant in jest

You smile at the way his blue eyes seem to glow

Your lips fall to his ear

You speak slowly to ensure he hears

Please, Cas…Dean can never know.