You play such a convincing role
Pretending you're a salvaged soul
And I think you almost believe what you impart
Addiction is your younger face
You swear there's no remaining trace
You testify impurity has long since left your heart
And true enough, your tongue stays clean
Her taste an all but forgotten dream
With every day's sobriety you believe you've regained worth
.
But the vial is at your fingertips
Your tongue is darting past your lips
And you think how fallen Heaven could taste sweeter than fallen Earth.
.
Just a taste - Dean won't know
You pull until the cork lets go
Then tilt the glass and let the rose red poison stain your hand
You touch your tongue - electricity
A rush of pure felicity
And just like that we find ourselves back where we began
.
It's not enough - you shake, you crave
You finally hit your knees and pray
And he appears before you, jaw tight, like he knows
The word need escapes your lips
As sweat falls from your brow in drips
There's sorrow in his ageless eyes before he draws them closed
.
Your heart plummets deep inside you
Convinced he's chosen to deny you
And then you see the light glint off the blade now in his grasp
You breathe a sigh of sweet relief
He cuts his arm, you bare your teeth
You both moan softly as you suckle in rhythm with his gasps
.
You flick your gaze up to his face
And bring your hand to graze the place
Where his body is betraying the lust he wants to hide
His forearm tenses beneath your lips
You feel the twitching of his hips
You pull the drawstring loose before you slide your hand inside
.
You let your fingers guide him through
Let them express your gratitude
All the while your greedy mouth proceeds to suck him dry
His knees give out as he moans once more
You catch him before he hits the floor
And lay beside him as you both absorb your respective highs
.
You stretch your arm across his chest
He whispers something meant in jest
You smile at the way his blue eyes seem to glow
Your lips fall to his ear
You speak slowly to ensure he hears
Please, Cas…Dean can never know.