Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but oh how I wish I did! bats eyelashes I think it's about the most wonderful book series ever written.
A/N: Welcome to my first Mary Sue spoof. I'll admit that I started a Mary Sue myself once, but it was for another series and once I realized what I was doing I stopped writing it. For those who write them, I know there are probably many good ones out there, so don't be offended!
The Sorting
After the long trip to Hogwarts, Harry, Hermione, and Ron were more than ready for the start-of-term feast, but first they had to endure the Sorting Ceremony. As "Zimbel, Rupert" joined Ravenclaw, Ron sighed in relief. "Finally done!" he muttered to Hermione, who looked reprovingly at him.
But they weren't done. Much to their surprise, McGonagall now beckoned forward a girl they hadn't noticed earlier. She looked a little closer to their age.
"This is one of our rare transfers, Peg Topper," McGonagall announced. "She has just moved from America and will be joining our sixth-year class." Harry looked up with renewed interest, then turned away, hiding a yawn as the girl put on the Sorting Hat.
Peg watched Harry from the stool. He was now staring dreamily at Cho Chang, over at the Ravenclaw table. He thinks he loves her now, she thought. But I'll show him I'm the perfect match for him. I'll change him...
The Sorting Hat heard all of this and was sore afraid for Harry's sake. You're a pretty sick kid, you know that? Hmm...unhealthy amounts of ambition...tut, tut. You know where excessive ambition gets you...
Gryffindor?
Guess again, kid. "SLYTHERIN!" the Sorting Hat screamed loudly. The Slytherin table applauded loudly and Peg went to join it numbly. This can't be happening! I have to get into Gryffindor so I can impress Harry with my charm and beauty. How can I get his attention when I'm in Slytherin?
The pale-blond boy across the table from her smiled, a rather cold look. "I'm Draco Malfoy," he drawled. "Glad you could join us. This is the best house of the lot, you know."
Peg smiled and nodded absentmindedly. So this was Draco Malfoy, Harry's worst enemy. Of course she hated him as much as Harry did. But he was kind of hot...
A/N: So another halfway stupid but slightly amusing story begins. I figure the mistake most Mary Sues make is assuming they'll get into Gryffindor right off the bat. If they only want to get in to impress Harry, I don't think that's going to cut it with the Sorting Hat. Personally, I'd rather be in Ravenclaw anyway...but enough of that. Coming as Soon as I Can Possibly Write Any Sort of Intelligible Prose: Chapter Two.