There's many interesting things one can find out when they're bored and looking for something to watch. In this case we happened to stumble upon Lizzie Borden, courtesy of YouTube and BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural: The Murders That Haunt The Lizzie Borden House. It's actually really entertaining to say the least. Anyway, one documentary later-
SAMMIE: Lizzie Borden took an axe
SARINA: Gave her mother forty whacks
SAMMIE: When she saw what she had done
SARINA: She gave her father forty-one
[LAUGHS] There's something severely wrong with us if we're just going to keep singing the rhyme like it's normal.
SAMMIE: [CHUCKLES]
Normal is for noobs. Being weird and liking cases like this is beyond the normal. 19 whacks to the step mother and 11 to the father? The layout of the house is interesting. The jacket the father was wearing was stuffed into his skull.
SARINA: Well, let me find the blueprints and we can debate over
if she did it or not.
How does one even stuff a jacket into a skull...There should be fabric pieces there.
SAMMIE: Yes, the blueprints should tell all. There were like two entrances to the house-
SARINA: Wait, they only mentioned one. When was this?!
SAMMIE: The front door which the maid had trouble opening-
SARINA: Right. That's obvious. Oh, wait...I'm a dumbass.
Carry on!
SAMMIE: and then the backdoor that had a screen attach to it.
Wait-
SARINA: What?
SAMMIE: They actually had door screens in the 1890s? I am shocked.
SARINA: You just thought of that now?
SAMMIE: I didn't think that would be invented until like after the Civil War.
SARINA: You could always research it.
SAMMIE: But anyways, let's go over the clues and the layout of the house.
SARINA: You just don't want to research -.-
SAMMIE: [BLINKED] It takes too much time to research..
SARINA: Bet you say that to college professors. I always end up researching between the two of us!
SAMMIE: [AVERTS EYES] Let's just go over the information so
far. I watched three documentaries of the Borden murders.
SARINA: INCLUDING the BuzzFeed Blue one.
SAMMIE: Two out of the three had blueprints of the house.
SARINA: Which I'll find eventually.
SAMMIE: Yes, including the BuzzFeed Blue ones and well this
time the work will be evenly distributed. Half you and half me.
SARINA: Yeah...we'll see about that _
ANYWAY! Moving on to the story, the epic American Criminal Folklore.
SAMMIE: [CRACKS HER RIGHT FOOT WITH HER LEFT FOOT CAUSING THE
INDEX TO TO SHIFT TO THE RIGHT, OUT OF ITS SOCKET]
[GIVES SARINA A HORRIFIED LOOK] IT BENT WRONG! It hurts!
SARINA: This is why we can't have nice things.
SAMMIE: -.- Anyways, the other two documentaries I saw-
SARINA: To which, one of them bored me to death, no offense.
SAMMIE: The borden house was very narrow with two different
Entrances.
Hey, I liked it.
SARINA: It was boring and you weren't even watching!
SAMMIE: Yes I was!
SARINA: Through your phone?!
SAMMIE: Yes, through my phone.
SARINA: So you can see through solid objects. Are you dead
then? When did you become Casper?! TELL ME!
SAMMIE: THE FIRST ENTRANCE IS THE MAIN DOOR THAT LEADS TO THE SITTING ROOM, WHICH WE NOW CALL THE KITCHEN.
SARINA: Why are you yelling?
SAMMIE: [CONTINUES ON IGNORING SARINA]
The second entrance led to the back of the house which faced the barn. Lizzie and Emma's room were connected to their parents room. Basically one room leads into the other.
SARINA: Oooo, hidden doors, but isn't that kind of creepy? I mean what if you're about to get busy. You gotta be wary of the extra door.
SAMMIE: [GIVES HER A LOOK]
SARINA: What?! I'm just saying!
SAMMIE: [SHAKES HER HEAD] To get into the first guest room which is the place the first murder took place-
SARINA: But wait, they only mentioned one guest room. Not two.
SAMMIE: You had to go through the front door entrance.
SARINA: Right. That's usually the most common thing.
SAMMIE: To get to the back guest room, you will have to enter through the back door that has the screen and take the back stairway.
SARINA: Who has a back guest room? That's a thing?
SAMMIE: [STARED INTENTLY AT HER RIGHT FOOT] The first guest room belonged to Maggie the maid since she lived and worked there.
SARINA: Then that would technically be her - you okay? You're concerning right now.
SAMMIE: It bent the wrong way. Of course I'm concerned. Anyway, the second guest bedroom is just for like the random family visits they get.
SARINA: Okay, I've heard of one guest room not two. They're not a hotel. If they lived on The Hill, that's not as questionable.
SAMMIE: [NODDED] They weren't rich or broke. They lived fairly well. Despite not being on the hill of hills. Let's call it the Borden Hillside.
SARINA: But they lived down by the river.
SAMMIE: [STARED BACK AT THE TV] Living by the river means nothing, just working up the ranks a bit.
Andrew Borden was a promoted to head banker but he lived comfortably.
SARINA: WAIT WAIT. Noooo! He made his fortune through furniture and investments.
SAMMIE: They weren't as filthy rich as their other Borden relatives.
SARINA: They invested in the cotton trade if I'm not mistaken.
SAMMIE: So back to the case at hand. The second entrance led to the back of the house which had the screen door - wait. Didn't you have issues with a screen door? [GIGGLES]
SARINA: MOVING ON! You mentioned the screen doors already.
SAMMIE: [HAS A SERIOUS DETECTIVE FACE ON]
SARINA: You look constipated. Please stop.
SAMMIE: So anywho, since all the rooms were connected, what I found strange is that the back of the house wasn't lit up like the rest of the house. It was pitch black, the back entrance. Also My face is my chloe decker face.
SARINA: The murders happened during the day time. So, it wouldn't exactly make sense to have that part lit up, or am I missing something?
SAMMIE: [BLINKED] You are right to a certain point.
SARINA: I'll take that.
SAMMIE: The murders did in fact take place early that morning. The first murder was at 9:30 am, second murder was at 11:15 am.
SARINA: Didn't they say it was 90 minutes apart. It'd make that 11 AM.
SAMMIE: [NODDED] Yes, my apologies, you are correct. I was off a bit.
SARINA: A bit? You added an extra 15 minutes.
SAMMIE: Anyways...Maggie the maid was outside of the house washing the windows Mrs. Borden asked her to wash.
SARINA: Let's keep in mind that Maggie's real name is Bridget. Why the Borden Sisters called her Maggie was because their old maid was named Maggie.
SAMMIE: went up the stairway that was by the front door. She was doing what she was normally doing around the house. Lizzie was checking every little often to make sure nobody would be in the house.
SARINA: I didn't find her to be a paranoid individual.
SAMMIE: [NODDED]
Nobody would suspect of getting murdered early in the morning while doing their normal wife duties.
SARINA: See, i'm going to let that comment slide only for the sheer fact that that would be acceptable in terms of the year we're talking about.
SAMMIE: Especially by a stepdaughter.
SARINA: To be fair, Abby Borden tried. I mean, some step parents these days don't try. I give her props for always trying.
SAMMIE: Mrs borden would be like "Hey, I will be murdered today. Let me fluff the guest room pillows before I get hacked to death-"
SARINA: "Unknowingly by dearest stepdaughter."
Sammie: [Nodded] "dearest stepdaughter" indeed. Here's a fun fact.
SAIRNA: Hm?
SAMMIE: I looked up some info for Emma Borden. Only...they didn't have much information on her.
SARINA: Unfortunately, the whole fiasco surrounded mostly Lizzie Borden.
SAMMIE: All they had on her was that she was Lizzie's sister and how she lived and died.
SARINA: Let's not forget how they formed Maplecroft and Emma eventually left. For what reason, we may never really know even though there are a few theories out there.
SAMMIE: Ah, yes that's correct. So what were the theories? If I remember correctly one of the theories was that lizzie didn't get along with her stepmother.
SARINA: Well, let's start telling the story first before we get into that, no?
SAMMIE: [NODDED] yes, let's tell the dear old century story of borden double murders…
SARINA: In that case, I'll begin...