NO ONE SHOOT ME! I'm sorry I've been gone for so long, I really am. It was not purposeful and I hope there are still people out there who are willing to read what I have to write even though I have been so awful with updating. I mean REALLY? Almost half a year! I wouldn't forgive me... (P.S. I still want you to forgive me though)
Don't worry I'll update Nightmare Come True soon as well, I had writers block for so long with that story that now I'm not sure what to do anymore, so hopefully you will forgive me as I am now submitting my longest one shot ever. I got the idea from some one shot I read a little while ago so if youre the person who inspired me with the kissing thing THANK YOU! kthxbai.
Disclaimer: I don not own Naruto or any of the characters used in this story
Love.
The obscure word that had too many blurry lines around its meaning to hold any real substance in the world that she lived in.
But it thrummed through her veins and brightened her eyes and she wanted to love.
It started with Kiba.
The boy with the too wide grin and the eyes that reminded her, not of the wolf that everyone suggested, but of a puppy that had been neglected of affection and comfort and she could see that he wanting to be loved so badly (and she wants to love him so badly), so she holds his hand one day.
He looks at her, startled and she just smiles back at him that too wide smile and he knows that she's been hurt and pushed aside and he sees the love that is bursting from the seams inside of her. And he wants it. All of it, he wants the affection and the love and the comfort and the warmth and she can give him all of that and he knows that some part of her sees the damn fox in him but he doesn't care.
And she smiles at him and laughs at his stupid jokes and he learns that she is more than just loving. She is strong and courageous and bold and sweet and she wants to be known. And he loves her for all of that.
For everything.
And she kisses him.
They are walking together toward her house and when they stop and he hugs her, she leans towards him and kisses him and he never wants it to end because he loveslovesloves her.
Even though he knows she will leave.
But he tries to soak up all the love he can, he lets her fix him because he comes to realize that's what she does. She fixes things.
But she can't fix herself.
So he puts bandages over her heart and lets the wounds, left there by the people who should have been protecting her, heal.
And he wants to be with her and to love her forever even when she starts to stand up to leave.
Kiba stays with her until she breaks up with him and all he can do is remember the love she gave him that was so sweet and the love that was in her heart for them that was too bitter.
Shikamaru was next.
Shikamaru who was so, so smart.
Who knew so many things without even trying, who would sit around and watch the clouds.
And she would watch them with him and she knew that with every pressure that he was under he kept his cool because he was smart. Just like her. And she likes that. She likes that he is strong in this very quiet way.
He knows that they left her and well everyone knows that they left her but some choose to forget. But not Shikamaru, because he knows too much to forget.
And he notices how sad she really is, how under the bravery and the daring and the feral grin that comes to her face when she fights through all of the ninja that try to cut her down, she is so, so sad.
So he kisses her.
And it's the best kiss he has ever had and it surprises him that a kiss from a girl with so much heartbreak can taste so sweet.
So he wraps a bandage of his own around her heart and hopes that it will stop the hurt that he sees in her eyes. Even though he knows that it will take a very long time, he is willing to wait.
And that terrifies him.
Because he can't love this girl with the wild grin on her face and the sage eyes.
Even though he wants to. Oh, how he wants to.
And she would love him because Shikamaru is smart and he can see the never ending forgiveness in her eyes and the gentleness in her touch and he knows that he could so easily love this broken girl but he's too smart for his own good and leaves the wrappings around her heart that he believes that someone else has put there to heal the scratches that he knows are still bleeding.
And so Shikamaru walks away after kissing her and after getting to the less crowded end of the street he runs and hopes that the feelings that the kiss brought to him will be left behind in the crowd.
Shino was the third.
Shino of all people.
The bug boy who no one wanted, the freak.
And she loved him for it.
She loved him for the bugs and the too pale skin and the brown eyes that were hidden behind those weird sunglasses.
He was cool and collected and intelligent and girls didn't talk to him because who wants to be around the weirdo?
But she doesn't care about it at all. She likes butterflies and he likes that she is not afraid to touch his hand even when she is well aware of the beetles that crawl through his skin.
And she can feel the way that he wants to be noticed. Feelings that would go against his cool demeanor, so he pushes down them down harshly.
But she tells him that he is special and she smiles brightly and he wants her to look at him more and more and more because to her he isn't a shadow.
He goes to the park with her and shows her butterflies and she smiles at them wistfully and says how wonderful they are to be able to change themselves into such beautiful things. And he knows that she is speaking of herself as well and he doesn't understand how she can say those things when she is so pretty and strong and confident.
So he wraps more bandages around her heart and hopes that one day he will be there to see her heart fully repaired.
Though he knows that he won't be with her like he is now.
Because she likes to heal people, she loves to love and it would never be her fault that she did this to the men around her because she is so unaware of what she did to them that her obliviousness almost stings a bit.
Kiba still stared after her as she walked away and Shikamaru refused to make eye contact with her and he knew that he would be with them, they would grow up and marry different people and fall in love but she would always have some sort of hold on their hearts.
The girl with the broken heart and the happy smile.
And she kisses him goodbye and tells him that she was sorry and he hugs her and revels in the touch of her skin against his one last time and then lets her go.
Because her heart is under those bandages that were set there to heal her like a caterpillar in a cocoon.
And he wouldn't wait for her to come back because as soon as she broke free, she wouldn't come back for anyone.
Naruto was the last.
Naruto, the one who left her as he chased after their teammate who was too much of a jackass to notice her.
She had always loved Naruto but he had wanted her to love him so much more than that.
He wanted the love that he saw her give so freely to Sasuke, he wanted to snatch it away and keep it safe because the bastard was truly too self-absorbed to look at the pretty girl who loved him too much and he was never very careful with it in the first place.
And Naruto, who was never shown any sort of love when he was young, likes it when she looks at him because something in her eyes makes him know that she cares and he wants her to care more and more and more until Sasuke is gone from her thoughts and her heart and all that's left is him.
But he forgets that.
He forgets that for a little while as he chases after Sasuke. As he chases after him for her.
And somewhere down the line he even forgets that much. He forgets the way that she would smile at him and the way that she would pet his hair when he was sick.
And he brings the idiot back to the village in secret and speaks to their leader about it and everything is very quiet and he sees a flash of pink going down the street and everything comes back to him and he wants her so badly that he doesn't know what to do with himself because it just makes him want to scream as he remembers that she will love the Uchiha again.
They all meet each other at the training grounds and she says hello to everyone and Kakashi seems a bit too friendly with her and Sasuke tries to be nice and he hates them all for it because they were trying to take her away from him before he even got a chance.
But she successfully ignores Kakashi's sudden advances on her and Sasuke's niceties and she asks how the mission was. And he wonders if she's proud of them for coming back with Sasuke because he thinks that maybe she didn't believe that they could.
Then she turns to him and she smiles at him.
And something isn't quite right about her smile.
She smiles so big that he thinks her face might break in half and then she kisses him.
She kisses him.
And it's everything he has ever wanted and more and he wants to grab hold of her and never let her go and it is wonderful and fantastic and the whole world is bursting into colors that he has never seen before and then she pulls away and smiles again and he sees it.
He sees in this very pretty girl what his predecessors have seen before him.
How broken she really is. How terribly, terribly broken she is.
She begins to walk away from them and it strikes him what they have truly done to her. They did what Sasuke did. They abandoned her when she needed someone. They had done this to her, they had broken her.
And then he the thought crosses his mind like a darting minnow how utterly forgiving she is. How unfathomably forgiving she has got to be for even beginning to try to speak to them.
He realizes that the kiss will be their first and last. The only way she knew how to tell him that she forgave him for what he had done to her even though he had never known.
She walks away and he can almost feel something ripple through the air. That something was changing and they would never truly be able to see.
Sasuke looks at him in a glaring sort of way for the next few weeks and Kakashi doesn't seem all too happy with him even though he continues to smile and he can see it slowly it begin to dawn on them too what has happened with the pink haired girl that they left behind.
She has left them and she isn't coming back.
She had wanted to love.
And so she did.
She loved Kiba who was childish and loving and who taught her to be wild.
She loved Shikamaru who was nice and too smart for his own good and who taught her to slow down.
She loved Shino, who was sweet and devoted and who taught her to believe in herself.
And Naruto, who was there even when he was not, the boy who had allowed her to let go.
Love.
The obscure word that had too many blurry lines around its meaning to hold any real substance in the world that she lived in. It meant too many things for her to count but somewhere along the line Sakura Haruno stopped trying to define it and decided instead to just love.
Whatever that meant.
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