life is more magical that way
Life is a weird concept when you're the son of Hades.
Does spending half your time in the Underworld make you half dead? Does having a mother who's been dead for decades and a father who's the god of the dead make you completely dead, except not?
When the only boy you've ever loved finds himself in Tartarus, does the only living part of your heart die out?
Killing yourself isn't even an option. You know what's beyond this life. You know that it isn't much better.
When Percy finds out, Nico can't bring himself to be surprised. He had been getting stares all day and figured someone must have done some digging and spread it around camp.
Percy approaches Nico before dinner. Nico is in his cabin, reading Harry Potter. He never got a childhood in this century, not a real one, and is trying to make up for lost time. Percy comes in, without knocking. Nico looks up and instantly pales.
"What are you doing in here?"
"I, uh, heard about…"
Nico looks down and tries to return his attention to the 'troll in the dungeon' conflict, but he can't concentrate. Percy is waiting patiently, still standing in the doorway.
"Um, can we talk…?" As uncomfortable as Percy seems, Nico doesn't feel sorry for him. Nico is definitely worse off in this situation.
He nods wordlessly, because this was inevitable, and Percy takes a few steps into the drafty cabin, closing the door behind him. He sits down on the bed, and Nico gives a vain attempt at ignoring the thigh that's much too close to his own body.
"I kinda treated you like crap." Yeah, no kidding.
"You're not the only one, so don't feel too bad."
Percy frowns. "No, Nico. You're important, you know. Without you, the rest of the Seven wouldn't have been able to close the doors on this side, and Annabeth and I would have died in Tartarus. And then there's Iapetus…" Percy's voice got sad and wistful, like it did any time he talked about Bob. "You could have been the prophecy boy, " he finishes.
"Yeah, but there's Percy Jackson, so I'm pretty sure that position got filled before it was even a possibility for me."
"I would have died in that war if you didn't convince me to bathe in the river Styx," Percy argues.
"Maybe that would count for more if I didn't try to sell you out to my dad in the process."
"Do you really not understand how many times you've saved my life, all the lives of everyone on the Argo II?"
"Is this really why you came in here?" Nico spits out.
A palpable silence fell over them. After a while, Nico laughs bitterly. "You know what? I don't need this. You have Annabeth, you'll always have Annabeth. All I have is a few dead family members and some ghosts to talk to when I'm in my father's realm."
"I do love Annabeth," Percy starts.
"Not helping," Nico growls.
Percy blushes but forges on. "...but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. I can't say anything will ever happen between us, but you'll always have me as a friend, as a brother."
Nico stares at Percy in awe, wondering how Percy hasn't called him a freak or forcibly removed himself from Nico's life.
The one time Percy isn't oblivious is the time it counts, because he seems to read Nico's thoughts exactly.
"No one cares that you like guys, Nico. I know it must be more difficult for you, being raised some 80 years ago. But it doesn't make you a freak, or abnormal. It makes you who you are. And believe me, I've seen you in combat. I don't think anyone's going to be thinking about you being gay when you're raising legions of the dead."
Nico visibly flinches. "Don't say that word."
"Nico," Percy says gently. "You can't be afraid. Not of a word or of a society or of who you are."
"I wouldn't expect you to know," Nico sneers, "but it really isn't that easy."
"So? Di immortales, Nico, we're demigods. Of course it's not easy. But, you know, you have to try; you have to work at it. It's the only way." Percy stands and makes his way to the door. Before he leaves, though, he turns back to Nico and adds, "Besides, life is more magical that way."
And you know what, there is something to that.