Dang. Longest oneshot I've ever written. I am so immensly proud of this; for me it's the little engine that could. XD I've been working on this for a long time. Longer than any other oneshot. And I really think it's a good piece of work. C:
Okay, just so we're clear: this story contains a LOT of metaphors, poetic language, artistic inferences. Basically, I'm using Sonny's name metaphorically. She's bright and Chad is dark. I'll think you'll understand once you start to read. I hope you don't get lost! lol
This story was greatly inspired by the Channy stories from: Mia M. Turner and Pwnguin. I dedicate this to them both! :D
-ssn
Too Sonny
(a Oneshot)
She was just too bright.
And it burned him. Whenever she was around, Chad found his darkness beginning to loosen and break away. And it hurt like nothing he'd ever felt before. He was practically ablaze in fire. Because of her light. Her stupid, stupid light.
It was shining all over him.
And he hated it.
Sometimes, when they were in the cafeteria together, he would watch her. Blatantly, of course. He'd laser his eyes straight into hers, and neither one would surrender. He'd wanted her to squirm; he'd wanted her to be uncomfortable. Anything to turn off the brightness. But Sonny was a powerful ball of energy. Even when she had her back to him – her pretty little head, the one he glared at, wouldn't burst into flames – like the inside of his soul. She refused to take in his pain.
She was winning.
Which only meant one thing: Chad was losing.
Chad Dylan Cooper never lost. He tried to lose himself plenty. He could count the number of times he failed to commit suicide on one hand. Someone always found him. And in that way, even when he so desperately wanted to lose – he couldn't. Condor Studios, of course, was a large part of that. They had to keep Mackenzie alive and well. Chad Dylan could hang himself for all they cared – he'd been back and forth to wards enough – but no one was permitted to touch Mackenzie.
Well, half of Chad Dylan Cooper belonged to the man he spent his life pretending to be. Therefore, he was invulnerable.
Except when it came to Sonny.
Chad sat at a reserved MacFalls lunch table, watching himself in a shiny spoon, grinding his teeth. Sonny took her lunch break every day at 12:35. Exactly. Chad had made a note of this – during one of his stalking sprees. And today, for the first time, he would speak to Sonny Munroe. And his plan of action was: to scare her. He was going to bury her sunshine. He had already dug a trap, covertly concealed; now, all he had to do was lure her into it. All he had to do was walk up to her and peal off a layer of his skin. Show her the darkness that consumed him. Threaten to turn her off permanently – to drag her down into an endless pit of despair; he knew his way around that place well – if she didn't stop burning him.
He would kill her light.
Finally, right on time, Sonny Munroe strutted into the cafeteria. Chad dropped his spoon, unexpectedly. It flew out in front of him, nearly three feet away, and landed directly in Sonny's path. Bright and brilliant, as Chad knew (and despised) that she was, Sonny was already bending down to pick it up.
In her pretty purple and blue outfit, Sonny walked over to Chad. She smiled and gave it back.
"...Or do you want me to get you a new spoon – that one has got to be dirty," she laughed.
Chad took a breath and pulled on his jacket.
"I'll let you get me a new spoon if you promise to sit at my table – and have lunch with me," he said, his voice particularly raspy.
"Cool," she chirped, her face redder than an apple.
"Alright…." Chad blew out that word like a summer breeze.
Sonny skipped away to get a lunch tray, and an extra spoon. Chad sat there, staring out into the distance. There was a feeling rising in his chest. Nervousness, maybe. But he hated it. Chad Dylan Cooper didn't feel. Period.
"What are you looking at?" Sonny asked, setting her full tray on the table. She smiled as she put a spoon in front of him. Chad glanced up to Sonny, making positive he looked at her face, not into her eyes.
"I was just thinking about you, Sonny."
"Oh," she blushed again and sat down. "What about me?"
Chad closed his eyes – he had to find his darkness. He was beginning to forget where it was.
"Your brightness."
Sonny smiled.
"See?" Chad leaned forward. "There it is again." But his tone was changing. Sonny could detect it in his voice. "It's always there, Sonny. You never stop it. Why don't you stop it, Sonny?"
Chad's eyes were bloodshot as he spat her name like venom. Sonny's brows curved in. Chad was sure she was going to cry. He could just see it – the floodwater was building up in her mind. But he was wrong.
"Something tells me the rumors are all true," she said, calmly, settling her back into the chair comfortably. How could she be comfortable right now?
"People can't help but talk about me."
"I've noticed. But that doesn't mean they like you, Chad."
"Oh, Sonny. You're so bright that you can't see the shadows lurking behind you." Chad was fully aware no one here cared about him. He made sure of it.
Sonny crossed her arms – but she wasn't flustered yet. To Chad, it was maddening. She should have been broken by now. But there were no cracks in sight.
"The only shadows around here are yours." He could hear the snips in her tone.
"And that's exactly the way I like it." Chad picked up his spoon and glided his tongue all down it. Then he stuck it in his pudding, dramatically. He continued, this time, risking everything and staring in her eyes, darkly. "I live in the dark. I sleep in the dark. I breathe in the dark. And your sunshine is going to fade, just as well. I promise you that."
Sonny tilted her head, staring. "You don't scare me, Cooper."
He chuckled, oh so bitterly. Then Chad got out of his seat and towered over her.
"Oh, but I will, Sonny. I will."
-x-x-x-
Chad Dylan Cooper was reduced to a floppy-haired, rich snot today.
It was just a few days out of the week that he had to hide the pool of dark water inside him. He wasn't fooling anyone on set about his intentions towards light and cheery drama – but the audience, they believed in him whole-heartedly. Of course, Chad didn't really care about them. He cared about nothing. He imagined himself being fired and sent out, and it didn't scare him a single bit. He could see himself just shrug and walk away. Nothing, not even losing his fame and fortune, frightened Chad. He would probably be better off, anyway, if he left this holy hypocritical lie. But then again, there was never any better in Chad's life. There was only bad – and worse.
Except when it came to Sonny.
"Cooper!" shouted the director. "We need you on set. …Now please." Chad had been sitting in his star chair off to the side, out of view – in the dark. He knew how fragile the director's emotional levels were – and exactly how to get him worked up.
"Don't pressure me," Chad answered back. He lifted his wrist, "Wouldn't want another one of these ugly things to end up on my skin, now do you?"
"Chad," he growled, "I don't have time for your melodramatic attitude today…."
"I thought that's what Mackenzie Falls was all about, Doc. Rich prisses and their melodrama." Chad laughed. "Wait a minute; was that the Falls or Dawson's Creek? Or wait – no, that was Gossip Girl, right? …Eh, oh well, not like there's any difference."
And right when Chad thought he would blow, a different voice echoed through the air.
"Actually, it's all three – blended into one," said Sonny.
Chad let out a quiet gasp and glanced up. There she stood, bright and beautiful. Another hole of light appeared in his dead heart. It ached and stung. Chad glared at her.
"Wh-why are you here, Munroe?" he snapped, his blonde shaggy bangs flapped over his purple-ringed eyes.
"Apparently," Sonny started, holding forward a piece of paper, "you're on Condor Studio's suicide watch."
Chad rolled his eyes with a sinister smile and hopped out of his chair, moving to her. He pulled on his jacket and sniffed.
"Do you think you're the only one who knows about these?" he whispered, showing her the row of brown scraggly scars lined up his wrist.
"Oh my god, Chad," Sonny whispered back in horror, wrapping her warm hands around them. But the instant she touched him, Chad cringed. He hadn't been touched by anyone in years. Suddenly, a surge of something ran up his spine. His chest was heating up. No! No! Quickly, he pulled away from her, glaring.
"What did you do?" Sonny asked, softly, staring at him with big brown eyes. Chad cursed under his breath. Her eyes were like liquid chocolate – delightful, pleasant, and sweet. Everything he couldn't stand, all wrapped up.
"I cut myself, Sonny," he replied in a brute manner. "I made myself bleed – until there was nothing left. Do you understand me, Munroe?"
Sonny was on the verge of crying. Chad could see water pricking at the corners of her eyes.
"Cooper! Still waiting!" called the director.
"Chad, why?"
"For someone so bright – you're not very intelligent."
Chad ripped away and started to stalk off but Sonny called out.
"For someone so dark – you're not very intimidating." Chad stopped. "Not to me, you're not." She crossed her arms, and before she left, sliced him just once more, "You can't scare me, Chad Dylan Cooper."
-x-x-x-
Solemn and alone – as natural to him as breathing – Chad laid down across a sofa in his dressing room. He closed his eyes tight.
There was an image that continued to float around in his mind – ever since that girl touched him three days ago – and he was trying so hard to rid himself of it. So far, he was nothing but a prisoner to it. Chad took a deep sigh, making himself comfortable enough to fall asleep.
And although the vision of a teary-eyed young woman still clouded his brain, he was very close to unconsciousness.
Except when it came to Sonny.
Because, in the next moment, there was a buzzing in his pocket. Chad found himself screaming at the sudden, unfamiliar noise. He dug into his pants and pulled out his cell phone. He growled at it. He hated text messages. It meant someone was trying to make contact with him.
The number was unknown to Chad, which meant this person was not in his address book. He deleted it without even glancing at the message inside. Once again he had won.
And once again, he was wrong.
The phone now started to ring. Chad swallowed hard and then swore. There was something pounding in his chest, making his ribs ache. Whoever it was, they wanted to talk to him – now.
In a moment of weakness, Chad answered it.
"Chad." It was Sonny. "Did you have lunch today?"
"Where did you get this number?"
Blatantly ignoring him, she said in a sing-song tone, "Healthy eating makes for a healthy mind."
"Sonny," he breathed, narrowing his eyes at the shadows in the room, "My mind is the furthest thing from healthy. And it stays that way."
"Yeah, whatever – as if I haven't heard that one before. I'm coming over to eat with you. Are you in your dressing room?"
Chad didn't say a word.
"I'll take that as a yes. I'm bringing sandwiches and fruit – all wrapped up in a pretty plaid picnic basket!" she squeaked, laughing.
"Great! And after we eat, I can strangle myself with it!" he spat, mocking her tone. Sonny sighed in annoyance.
"Well, you're particularly perky today, aren't you?"
"Your P words are exasperating my nerves," he hissed. Was he keeping her on the phone intentionally?
"Chad, what doesn't exasperate your nerves?"
"The dark."
"Well, I'm sorry, Cooper, but you're going to have a very bright lunch today. I'll see you in five."
She hung up without waiting for him to agree. Now, Chad knew one more thing about Sonny: she was just as stubborn as he was. But he wasn't going anywhere without a dirty and brutal fight.
-x-x-x-
There was a knock.
"Chad!" she sang.
Chad gritted his teeth. He sat right in front of the door, staring at it. He wouldn't dare open it. He would not willingly let her in. The room was just too dark. She would destroy it. But he was paralyzed. And she let herself come in.
The edge of the door hit his knee cap.
"Whoops!" Sonny laughed, then she saw his clenched face. "Chad, what on earth are you doing down there? Didn't you here me knock?" Smugly, he glanced up to her and almost laughed. She cocked her head. "Of course, you did." She rolled her eyes and walked past him. Sonny set her picnic basket on the table.
Chad shut his eyes. She was intolerable! She was making his blood warm up, making him boil in the heat of her light. He opened his eyes and glared at her. She smiled in return.
"Why don't we turn on some of these lights?"
"No!" Chad shouted, startling her. "You want to have a picnic? Fine. But we do it in the dark."
Sonny shrugged, "Whatever you say, Chad—"
"And stop saying that!"
Sonny's constant use of his name threatened his darkness. It was airy, light, sweet. And driving him insane. He had to conquer this. Chad stood and came back to his sofa. He sunk into it, glowering at the picnic basket. Stupid, stupid light.
Sonny looked at him, worry in her eyes. She sat down next to him and another burn rippled up his spine. Each time she showed affection, each time she was near: her light beams cut holes in his skin; the dark water was draining. And he was getting tired now. His anger was fleeing. Chad blew the bangs out of his face.
"Why don't you want me to say your name?" Sonny asked.
"Because your voice is like nails on a chalkboard."
"Wow," she scoffed, "I didn't realize how good you are at pushing people away."
Chad moved his eyes slowly over to her face. "Get used to it."
She lowered her brows and turned from him. Sonny leaned forward and rifled through the basket. But instead of pulling out food, she took out an iPod and a dock companion. She moved about the room, searching for just the right area to place it.
"If I can't turn on the lamp, then I'll shed a different kind of light in this room."
Chad eyes shot up. She wouldn't. He hated music!
Except when it came to Sonny.
She pressed play. Voices floated into his ears. He refused the enjoyment of music for one reason: it was a beacon straight to the mind. And he kept that place under lock and key, in a place damp. In a place dark.
The sound was like shrieking to him.
"Oh my god – what is that?" Chad pressed his palms over his ears, veins popped in his forehead.
While he practically had a seizure, Sonny bobbed her head along to the smooth and steady rhythm. She stopped to stare at him, shaking her head. Chad's eyes became slits. He was trying to shield any opening to his mind.
"It's called music, Chad."
"I'm fully aware of the concept," he spat. "But that ridiculous whining isn't music. It's giving me a migraine."
"What? You don't like Michael Jackson?" As genuine as her question, Chad just glared. But she refused to succumb – just like always. Why wasn't it working on her?
Sonny smiled and jumped up.
"But doesn't it just make you wanna move?"
To reply, Chad pulled his knees up and burrowed his head below his crossed arms. When would it stop? Sonny rolled her eyes, and began to whirl around the room – spinning and dancing and swaying. Chad didn't dare look up at her – it would hypnotize him instantly, he knew. She was like a disco ball, sending out rays of light through the air. Chad couldn't bear to be struck.
Dancing and singing were stupid, a waste of energy, and could quite possibly evoke emotions. That's why Chad detested them so.
Except when it came to Sonny.
Instantly, Chad reached over and shut off the music. Sonny quit moving and watched him carefully, breathing heavy. She put her hands on her hips.
"What's wrong?"
Chad twitched. "It's you, Sonny! I can't-I can't take it anymore!" He was shaking.
"But I was just dancing – its good for you."
"Oh, don't you get it?" he growled, his cheeks burned red. Sonny sunk into herself. "I don't want to be good; I'm bad, Sonny! I'm bad!"
Sonny blinked back tears. "I … I know you still have a heart. I'm just t-trying to reach it." The foundation of Chad's deep well of despair cracked. Things he'd never said before started to leak out.
"It's dead – I'm dead, Sonny! There's nothing you can do to save me!"
"Yes there is!" she rushed to sit beside him. Chad felt like he'd swallowed himself whole. Something raced deep within him. It was his heart. It was beating. "I can be there for you. I can be kind to you – I can give you what no one else did. I want to." She gazed into his eyes, sadly.
But the last wave of darkness splashed out from inside Chad and hit her straight on.
"Let me go," he spoke tenderly. The air between them was tight, constricting. Suddenly, something wet and salty slid down Chad's cheek. Piece by piece, the dead scars were breaking away. There was nothing he could do to stop it now. "I don't know anything but the dark. I'll fall and I won't get back up."
Sonny reached out and gently grazed the tear away. "I'll catch you."
With a trembling sigh, Chad threw one last effort to overcome her. "I'm too heavy." But the darkness had left. Sonny held his face in her warm hands and furrowed her brows.
"No, you're not."
Suddenly, the electricity between them burst into flames. Chad connected their lips with intensity. The opposing forces clashed against each other, a storm, a raging sea. Light and dark spiraled around each other, warring. And suddenly, it was over.
Chad and Sonny pulled apart.
The fog settled. A brilliant beam shot from the ground and engulfed the couple.
Chad's face upturned into a smile.
Light conquered dark.
I plan on adding an epilouge. xD
And well, since you're ALL the way down here, and it might be quite a trek back up: why not leave a review? :) Pretty please.
