No Such Thing as Love

Chapter One

A day hardly passes that Buffy does not think of her; a moment is nothing if they are not together; each day spent without her is a day wasted. Their relationship had started with almost no notice. It came out of nowhere, but seemed to have lasted a lifetime. Neither could pinpoint when it started, but then, an end was not in sight.

It was a relatively cool day in the midst of the Sunnydale summer. Faith lounged on the bench in the Summers' garden, a cool drink hung from her hand. She grinned as Buffy came to her, and crawled on her lap.

"All right Babe?" Faith half-crooned.

Buffy sighed, "Never better."

Faith grinned when Buffy glanced up. But it was Buffy that failed to meet her eyes, and Buffy that missed the look there. Faith was happy, but she wasn't calm, and she wasn't ready. She doubted she would ever be. Buffy would say it again, Faith would laugh, kiss her, change the subject, anything to get out of responding.

Buffy snuggled closer, nestling her ear against Faith's chest, "I love you."

Faith heart rate soared. Her heart banging against her chest. She was not, and never would be, ready for that. A Distraction! Faith's head swung round the garden, looking for anything.

"Faith…" Buffy sat up slowly, having sensed the change in Faith's heart rate, "Baby?"

"Let's play golf."

"Eh…What?" Buffy said, taken aback.

"Golf." Her voice held a tone of finality to it.

And that's how that ended. There would be no conversation, no explanation, Buffy knew that. So she played golf.

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It had probably three months since they had played golf. Buffy lay on the bed, watching the rain as it thundered outside. It brought a thousand memories for her. Memories of Faith, their first kiss; their first picnic; their first fight. Everything with them seemed to revolve around the rain.

Buffy watched with a silent tear running down her face. A Photo of her and Faith balanced on her bedside table. It had been taken about 3 days after they'd met, maybe less. In it, Buffy shot a deadly glare at Faith who grinned as she posed for the photo.

Buffy loved the photo. It represented them to a Tee. There was so much innocence in faith, even as it went with her all 'evil' demeanour. She never seemed to notice how Buffy felt, or when things went unsaid between them. Like they were now.

There was nothing to build on between them. No hate or rage to build between them. Buffy was spent. She'd given up. To her, Faith was everything, but to Faith, she was nothing more than a good fuck. Maybe not even that. How could Buffy believe that? She had no other choice.

They'd been together for too long, not that Buffy believed that, but there was only so long a person should stay in such a destructive relationship, right? If the love was one-sided, as Buffy was certain it was, it would hurt her less to break it off. Buffy sighed, she didn't want to, but felt she had no other choice.

Buffy watched as Faith walked down the street, leather jacket wrapped around her, acting as if she had not a care in the world. Probably horny too, expected Buffy to satisfy her every need. Well not tonight.

Buffy hurried down the stairs to meet Faith. She pushed open the front door long before Faith had reached it, walking out to meet Faith. They stood for a second staring at each other. Fear shone from Buffy's eyes, fear and uncertainty, Faith's remained emotionless, almost cold, as always.

One last chance. This was Faith's last chance. Buffy moved forward until she was nose-to-nose with Faith. "I love you."

Three little words, that's all it took. Faith stepped back and grinned, "Let's go inside and get a party started." Buffy missed the shiver that ran though Faith's body. She didn't see the lie in her eye or the pain in her heart.

"I can't." Buffy shuddered, tears running down her face, mingling with the rain on her cheeks. "I love you, I do. But this is killing me." She was shaking now. Terrified, but she forced herself to say it. "It's over Faith. I can't do it anymore. We're over."

Faith's face went blank, but only for a moment. "You're being silly B. This is just a fling B." Tears ran from Faith's eyes too, but Buffy missed them.

"How can you say that? It's been over a year. I know you love me, Just tell me it. Please?" Buffy's eyes were wide with tears, imploring Faith to fix it.

"No. I don't love you. I never have, and never will."

"Why?"

Faith looked down at her girlfriend through dark brown eyes and spoke in a harsh voice, "Because there is no such thing as love."

Buffy's whole body shuddered. She fell to the ground, not noticing as she collapsed in the mud. Her world collapsed around as she began to sob. There were no words to describe how she felt, no words, only noise as Buffy screamed her pain to the world.

Faith paused for a second, her hand reaching toward Buffy. She pulled it back. There was nothing she could do. Faith walked into the house and grabbed her knapsack, stuffing some clothes, weapons and food into it. She walked straight past Buffy, who remained curled, screaming, in the mud. Faith walked straight and true, away from Buffy and Sunnydale.

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Well I have finally gotten around to re-writing this. I'm posting it separately for not, but will eventually take down the old version. Hopefully I can get the second chapter of the new version up soon. I do, however, have to warn you that this will be really different to the previous one as I did not like parts of the old story line. Anyway hope you enjoy the newer version. Please let me know what you think, constructive criticism is welcomed.